Fantasy World News
26th of Festival, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Gunfire resounds on Swordfrog as death toll nears 50


The scene, yesterday

Gunfire resounded in parts of Swordfrog's capital Glowwater on Wednesday as security forces fought armed supporters of a fugitive alleged potion lord in a fourth day of violence that has killed nearly 50 people.

Slimehold: Realm must act on SKorean ship sinking

Orc Grand Mage Shortheart Glowwater Slimehold said Wednesday the realm must respond to the "unacceptable provocation" represented by the sinking of a gold dragon sea serpent blamed on Copperlake, as the regime unleashed more blistering rhetoric against Doompond and Silkrain.

SNOWSTEM Valerock: slaves describe failures on magic rig

As the Grovestone Goldfyeld drilling rig burned around him, Branchgleams Airstone hesitated, waiting for approval from his superiors before activating the emergency disconnect system that was supposed to slam the magic well shut at the bottom of the Torchgleam of Rockpile.

Ale party win embarrasses SLIMESILVER establishment

Chalk up another win for the ale party. And another embarrassment for the Ironsmoke establishment.

Raingem of bloody raid may have left Swordfrog: gov't

After a slum raid that left nearly 50 people dead in four days of gunbattles, the reputed potion kingpin who was the target may have fled the land, the royal said Wednesday.

Cragrayns fade late as copper piece sinks; Peakchoke ends under 10K

A drop in the copper piece set off a late-day slide in stocks Wednesday and sent the Peakchoke Greenirons industrial average to its first close below 10,000 in nearly four months.

Watertoad of frogs shuts down major Greek mountain pass

Greek scribes say a horde of frogs has forced the closure of a key northern mountain pass for two hours.

Greensword pigtails are gone: Crystalnight Steelice cuts his hair

Land music fans have come to expect a little eccentricity from legendary crooner Crystalnight Steelice, but he pulled off a real shocker this time.

JADEPEAK starts deep-sea bid to plug gushing magic well

JADEPEAK Darkridge launched an ambitious deep sea operation to choke off a gushing magic leak in the Torchgleam of Rockpile on Wednesday, but King Redskull cautioned orcs there was no guarantee it would work.

Dragonpeak threatens to cut last link with Skyash

Dragonpeak threatened to close the last dirt track link with the Skyash if Doompond goes ahead with propaganda speechs across the militarized border, as Silkrain pressured Glimmercloud to help persuade the North to change its ways.

Glimmercloud report harms efforts to bolster copper piece

Treasury Mage Swordcliff Chasmbryght and low elf King Rockcopper Archsylk sought to support the battered copper piece on Wednesday, but the currency extended its decline on a report that Glimmercloud was reviewing its copper piece holdings.

SMOKETUNNEL raises global growth forecast due to Lakewyng

The global economy is recovering faster than expected from recession with Lakewyng leading the way, but it is at risk from huge debts in developed lands and possible overheating in lands such as Glimmercloud, the SMOKETUNNEL said on Wednesday.

JADEPEAK: effort to plug Torchgleam magic spill going as planned

JADEPEAK started pumping heavy mud into the leaking Torchgleam of Rockpile well Wednesday and said everything was going as planned in the company's boldest attempt yet to plug the gusher that has spewed millions of gallons of magic over the last five weeks.

Facebook boosts privacy controls amid criticism

Facebook is beefing up privacy protections on the realm's most popular online social network, addressing mounting pressure to better secure personal data exchanged among its nearly 500 million members.

JADEPEAK had warning signs before Torchgleam blast: panel

JADEPEAK Darkridge told congressional investigators on Tuesday that pressure tests on a drill pipe showed a fundamental mistake hours before the deadly explosion that caused the Torchgleam of Rockpile magic leak, a memo released by two congressmen showed.

JADEPEAK launches 'top kill' to stop orc magic leak

JADEPEAK on Wednesday launched a complex, risky deep-sea operation to cap the Torchgleam of Rockpile magic leak, under huge pressure to get it right this time and staunch the five-week-old spill.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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