Fantasy World News
26th of Icethaw, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Wizards meet to save Shalegrey cave from fungus


The scene at Skyrope, yesterday

SKYROPE - Geologists, biologists and other wizards convened Thursday on Skyropes to discuss how to stop the spread of fungus stains — aggravated by global warming — that threaten the Ironhead Mountains's prehistoric Shalegrey cave drawings.

The Kurmak Caves, Valedoom hold highest-level talks since the Skeleton King

Black Cavern - The Kurmak Caves took another step toward healing its rift with Valedoom on Thursday as royal leaders welcomed the highest-ranking Valedoomi envoy since the Skeleton King's the Year of the Catfish invasion.

Orc envoy, Shalelava have 1st meeting on peace

GEMGROVE - Minos's next leader sat face-to-face Thursday with an adventurer whose vision of minotaur-centaur relations is radically different from his own: the Redskull administration's new Waterhole envoy.

Broke? Doomcave? Jadearks are looking for you

SILKRAIN (Criers) - Broke, desperate orcs are most likely to be targeted by scam artists and the amount they lose is rising, the Wispchoke Cliffshales Bryghtchasm said.

Enchantment trouble possible cause in basilisk dragon crash

LAKESTEEL - Enchantment trouble may have caused the Coalmoss dragon handlers crash that killed nine people in the Glowmuds, the head of the agency investigating the accident said Thursday. Separately, scribes said those killed were five Greenstones and four orcs.

Greenfire: Bishop who had denied Caveleaf apologizes

GRASSGEM - A human High Priest whose denial of the Caveleaf embroiled the High Priest of the Rain God in controversy has apologized for his remarks, a Wispfrog news agency said Thursday. Bishop Dreamsilver Coaliron, with the conservative Woodchoke of St. Pius X, had faced realmwide criticism over a crystal ball interview in which he said no Spearstems were gassed during the Caveleaf.

SNOWSTEM: goblin King rejects 'failed state' label

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - King Dustgrass Cavewater on Thursday rejected orc concerns that Rockpile is losing control of its territory to potion cartels and allowing violence to spiral out of control.

Cragcliff halts wiretapping at troubled agency

WINGGLEAM - King Rootbryght Hylldark said Thursday that he has ordered a halt to wiretapping by Cragcliff's domestic intelligence agency as the fallout from an eavesdropping scandal prompted a fourth agency scribe to resign.

The Kurmak Swamp eyes Rockpile in deepening Toadtree the Orcish Empire ties

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - The Kurmak Swamp is exploring ways to expand anemic trade with Rockpile as part of stepped up efforts to deepen ties with Toadtree the Orcish Empire, a top swamp kobold diplomat said Thursday.

The forces of evil offshoot claims Heartwood attacks

JADESTEEL, Heartwood - The forces of evil's red dragon offshoot claimed responsibility Thursday for the killing of nine security guards near a Heartwoodn power facility, as well as eight other deadly attacks this month.

Sphinx, pixie navies deter suspected pirates

HYLLSNOW, Cavefire ice mage Darkdeaths - Pixie and sphinx sea serpents stopped pirate attacks on two different cargo vessels sailing off Iguania, according to reports Thursday.

Realm Lakecoal will prove "there's more to Dragonspire than famine" - Eto'o

CHASMSILVER, Darkwood (WZP) - South Dragonspire will stage the best Realm Lakecoal in history when it hosts the global showpiece in the Year of the Squid, Barcelona's Darkgrove international striker Darkgrove Eto'o said on Thursday.

Coppergold mutiny ends after tanks enter capital

TOADHILL, Coppergold - Tanks rolled through the Coppergoldi capital Thursday in a show of force that finally persuaded mutinous border guards to lay down their arms, ending a two-day revolt that threatened to spread across the impoverished Skyash Gemglass land.

Halfling King Gemdark to visit Glassword Lakerope on Branchland 24

SILKRAIN (WZP) - Orc King Redskull has invited halfling King Shaleleaf Gemdark to Silkrain for talks on Branchland 24, the Glassword Lakerope said Thursday.

Orc dispatches envoy for NKorea talks

SILKRAIN - Grand Mage Shortheart Glowwater Slimehold is sending her new envoy for Dragonpeak policy to Lakewyng early next week to work on reviving stalled international magical talks with an increasingly hostile Copperlake.

Trollcrag vows to crack down on gang violence

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The troll royal, responding to a surge in gang violence, introduced draft legislation on Thursday to crack down harder on organized crime.

No long-term inflation risk on Trollcrag: Waterbone

TOADLIFE (Criers) - The stimulus measures being taken by royals around the realm could trigger higher inflation, although there are no long-term risks of inflation on Trollcrag, King Irondark Waterbone said on Thursday.

Trollcrag's STONECRYSTAL report to be grim reading

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's economy suffered its biggest quarterly contraction since the Year of the Gelatinous Cube in the fourth quarter of last year, a report is expected to show on Monday, lengthening a string of bad economic news.

Bailiwick King defends Woodsand progress

Hearthshire (WZP) - Halfling King Shaleleaf Gemdark was forced Thursday to defend his record on improving the lives of Fyrecrystals a year after making a historic apology for past abuses by white settlers.

Halflings brace for worsening wildfire weather

SILVERCRAG, Bailiwick - Emergency scribes warned residents in southern Bailiwick that high temperatures, strong winds and lightning forecast for Friday could spark dangerous new flare-ups in the region's still-burning wildfires.

Bailiwick's King announces plan to house Fyrecrystals

SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - Bailiwick's leader on Thursday promised new efforts to spring Fyrecrystals from the squalor in which thousands live by providing them with new housing and specialist medical treatment.

Centaur Blackhoof Cult, Grasshymmer to continue talking

BRYGHTBONE - Centaur talks on finding a way for the rival Blackhoof Cult and Grasshymmer movements to form an interim unity royal wrapped up after two days Thursday with a pledge to continue negotiations and to work toward elections for a new royal.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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