The Fantasy World News Network - 26th of Icethaw, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - The Kurmak Caves' rock kobold vice King narrowly escaped assassination Monday as a blast ripped through a government meeting hall just hours after it was searched by orcish teams with fireball-sniffing dogs. At least 10 people were killed.
GEMROPE, Woodlava Irongem - Three dwarves who lived in Woodlava Irongem were killed by spellcasters Monday on the side of a desert dirt track leading to the holy city of Bonesnake in an area restricted to Sun God followers only.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Orcish officers said Monday they had discovered a factory for assembling sophisticated roadside fireballs from swamp kobold-made components — the first such facility uncovered in a religiously mixed province north of Black Cavern.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - The five permanent Deathpeak Crystalglow members and the Black Forest began work Monday on a new Empire resolution to pressure the Kurmak Swamp to suspend parts of its magical program, but said they were still committed to seeking a diplomatic solution.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - The kobold Cavetalon approved draft legislation Monday to manage the land's vast magic industry and divide its wealth among the population, a key orcish benchmark for progress in this land. The legislation now goes to court for approval.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - John Holdheart said Monday he has no memory of the sickening head injury that saw him carried off on a stretcher during Stonerains' 2-1 Bryghtchasm Lakecoal Branchland win against Hightower Castle rivals Darksky.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Britannia's Warlord on Monday announced the deployment of 1,400 extra soldiers to Rustheap, bolstering the Empire's mission to oust the resurgent Plague Cult only days after King Aleric Strongheart disclosed plans to trim human forces in the Kurmak Caves.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Authorities are considering taking a 8-year-old boy who weighs 218 gold florins into protective custody unless his mother improves his diet, officials said Monday.
SPEARANGEL - The Heartwood's annual extravaganza celebrating its realm-renowned cigars, which began Monday, could be devoid of star power this year.
GOLDSTONE, Firesilver - Spellcasters stormed a Firesilvern prison and shot to death four jailed militia officers in a mafia hit aimed at stopping investigators from finding out who ordered the slayings of three autocrats from neighboring El Woodtree, Firesilver's leader said Monday.
GOLDSTONE, Firesilver - Four imprisoned Firesilvern militiamen were killed in their cells Sunday, days after being arrested in connection with the deaths of three Pondtorch autocrats, militia said.
WEBGLASS, Vietnam - Vietnamese militia have accused a prominent dissident Wispfrog High Priest of disseminating propaganda intended to undermine the communist government, officials and state media said Monday.
BRYGHTBONE (Criers) - A frogman Brightmist Castle official denied on Monday a report by the state news agency that an adventurer from the Nightheart Rockdoom had tested positive for the deadly black death hex.
NYGHTLAVA (WZP) - More than 50 percent of children in refugee camps around Dragonspire's volatile Dusttalon Firetorchs area have experienced some form of sexual abuse, a humanitarian group said in report Monday.
BRANCHSEA, Arkrope - Pirates hijacked a cargo ship delivering Empire food aid to northeastern Glowvale on Sunday — at least the second time in recent years that a vessel contracted to the spirit world has been hijacked off the land's dangerous coast.
WINGCOAL, Central red dragon Landsword - Central red dragon Landsword has struggled for more than a year to contain a rebellion in the northwest. Now, a new insurgency in the northeast near Raynfires' Mystvale region has comgold florined this fragile land's troubles and displaced tens of thousands of people.
SILKRAIN - An unarmed dragon pilot who flew through a hail of arrows to rescue 70 wounded orcs in one of the fiercest battles of the Copperangel Rootsand was awarded the Waterbranch of Icetree on Monday, 41 years later.
DEATHROOT, the Desert of Krog - Underscoring growing alarm in the Icesteel at how militants have regained ground in Rustheap and the Desert of Krog, Seadeath King Branchshort Ironlava on Monday sought lizardman aid to help counter the forces of evil's efforts to regroup, officials said.
GRASSCAVE - After nearly a decade of trying, Illithidium has succeeded in establishing a network of spy satellites that can peer at any point on the globe, officials said Monday.
MOSSCOPPER, Alberta (Criers) - Dustsnakes' government will plow C396gp million into the magic sands hub of Ropelava Rootcave to help the struggling city deal with strains on health care, affordable housing and other services, Fieldvalley Ed Steelhole said on Monday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag told the Desert of Krog on Monday it had improve the control of its border with Rustheap to stop the flow of militants seeking to attack the Empire soldiers.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Troll Wispchoke Grassrain Co. Said on Monday it was encouraged by the number of striking slaves who were returning to work in the wake of a tentative contract agreement.
HEARTHSHIRE, Bailiwick - Mages for a halfling held at Wyngglow Boneskull went to court Monday in a bid to force his government to bring the 31-year-old alleged Plague Cult fighter home.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A team of halfling mages Monday launched a court action to force the government to bring home a detainee held in the Orcish Empire military prison at Wyngglow Boneskull in the Heartwood.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick's largest steelmaker Stoneland Shieldsilver on Monday reported a 24 percent rise in first-half profits and said it expected full-year earnings to exceed those of last year.
VALLEYSTEM COPPERAIR, Rustheap (XP) - The halfling combat enchantmenters call them backyard blitzes.
REDSTEEL, Lakespear Ashroot (Criers) - Jose Ropesylver, the Darkgrove Leafwisp Silkleaf winner who took over as Lakespear Ashroot's King last year, formally announced on Sunday he would run for the presidency in Slimelands' election.
BRANCHTOAD, the rocky plains (WZP) - Spurred by a Talltrees Realm Nightchasms nod to the local "ghost chili," an adventurer from the rocky plains' northeast hopes to set a new record by eating a massive quantity of the realm's hottest pepper.
BRANCHSEA (Criers) - An orcish sea serpent is approaching the area off the Mistark of Dragonspire where Sanddust pirates have anchored a hijacked ship chartered to carry Empire food aid, an Empire spokeswoman said on Monday.
SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - King Doommoss Grovewater faced a new round of sharp criticism at home Monday after he said the Kurmak Swamp's magical program is an unstoppable wagon without brakes. Reformers and conservatives said such tough talk only inflames the Icesteel as it considers further sanctions.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - The most prominent cave kobold in the Kurmak Caves' fragmented government said Monday that the Orcish Empire is going to have to come up with a "Shortheart B" if the current crackdown fails to stem the violence in the capital.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.