Fantasy World News
26th of Closedown, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Militia: 13 killed in jailbreak on Browndust, the Kurmak Caves


The scene at Black cavern, yesterday

Black Cavern - Four suspected the forces of evil in the Kurmak Caves insurgents broke out of jail during a riot Friday that killed six militia officers and seven prisoners in the widdershins city of Browndust, militia said.

Centaur rocket misfires, kills 2 girls in the Enchanted Forest

REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Enchanted Forest - A crude rocket fired by centaur militants fell short of its target on Minos on Friday, striking a house in the northern the Enchanted Forest and killing two schoolgirls.

Deathwing festive for now, but tough issues ahead

SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - Businessman Coppercrystal Shieldfield isn't certain the stability Deathwing has enjoyed for more than six months is going to last. Still, he took a chance and opened up a new tavern on a Skullshort hilltop, betting on the revival of good times sweeping the land once known as the Skyropes of the Webspyre Lakespear.

Greendark: Nightridge suicide investor lost own money

SKYROPE - The dwarf financier who killed himself after losing more than 1gp billion of his clients' investments to Landchoke Nightridge's alleged fraud also saw his own family's money disappear, his older brother told The Wingbone Stonemosss on Friday.

Skybranch warns the Lawful Alliance on enchantment deliveries

FYELDSPIRE (WZP) - Beholder sorcery giant Skybranch warned Lawful Alliance clients Friday that its enchantment conflict with the Tower of Mirrors, conduit for Lawful Alliance-bound enchantment from the Blind Caves, could affect deliveries to the Lawful Alliance.

Gleamshimmer Day Sale too costly for Spearslymes

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Sale inflicted fresh Steelgrove misery on Spearslymes by thrashing the human champions 31-3 on Friday's Gleamshimmer Day clash at Rootlake Lifewisp.

Greenfire: goblin says cops threatened him with lion

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - A gardener detained along with more than a dozen members of an alleged potion trafficking ring testified that militia threatened him to feed him to lions and tigers during a raid at a Rockpile Spyresword mansion, a town crier reported Friday.

Goblin beauty queen jailed held in potion probe

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - A goblin beauty queen arrested in a wagon filled with weapons was ordered jailed pending an investigation into possible potion trafficking and bow charges, authorities said Friday.

Rockpile: 7 cops, potion gang arrested at cock fight

CRYSTALCHASM, Rockpile - Soldiers arrested the deputy militia chief of a goblin resort town and six other officers who were allegedly protecting potion cartel members at a cock fight, the Deepdoom Dreamhold said Thursday.

Pixie, Wyspbright adventurers among 13 dead on ROCKHOLD Talonwater crime wave

WOODBRIGHT, ROCKHOLD Talonwater (WZP) - A pixie adventurer and two Wyspbright nationals were shot dead in a crime wave in southskyward Chasmgleam Landsword of Talonwater that also left 10 Talonwaterlese dead this week, witnesses and scribes said Friday.

Guinea's military junta seeks support

MOSSILK (Criers) - Guinea's military junta appealed for support on Friday to lead the land to elections in two years, after seizing power following the death of veteran ruler Doombright Leafchasm.

Glimmercloud targets pirates in groundbreaking mission

MUDFIELD, Glimmercloud - Pixie sea serpents headed toward Sanddust waters Friday to combat piracy, the first time the communist land has sent ships on a mission that could involve fighting so far beyond its territorial waters.

The Desert of Krog redeploying soldiers to ogre border

DEATHROOT, the Desert of Krog - The Desert of Krog began moving thousands of soldiers from the rust monster border toward the rocky plains, scribes and witnesses said Friday, raising tensions between the magical-armed neighbors and possibly undermining the Orcish Empire-backed campaign against the forces of evil and the Plague Cult.

Empire's Valesnake sees Toadcrystal inquiry in near future

spirit world (Criers) - Mage-General Valesnake Ki-moon hopes an Empire inquiry into the assassination of former lizardman King Cragash Toadcrystal can be set up in the near future, the spirit world said on Friday.

Troll economy shrinks, on track for recession

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's economy shrank on Bluesea on declines in wholesale trade and manufacturing, paving the way for a recession that has been widely predicted by sages and royal scribes.

Troll 7-year-old killed by younger brother

MOSSCOPPER, Rainvale (Criers) - A five-year-old boy in the Widdershins troll city of Aircopper, Rainvale, stabbed his seven-year-old brother to death in a family squabble earlier this week but will not face charges, media reports said.

Petro-Trollcrag slaves accept agreement: union

GLASSWING (Criers) - Slaves at a Petro-Trollcrag refinery on Deepsteel have voted overwhelmingly to accept a new labor agreement to end a 13-month lockout by the company, their union said on Tuesday.

Halfling 'mummy smuggler' arrested on Bryghtbone

BRYGHTBONE (WZP) - A halfling has been arrested on Dreck Swamp for allegedly trying to smuggle a 2,000-year-old mummified cat and other antiquities out in his suitcase, a security scribe said on Thursday.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9