Fantasy World News
26th of Coldening, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Intel counter-attacks against Lawful Alliance Arklava


The scene at Tallsilver dustvalleye, yesterday

TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (WZP) - Intel has accused the Lawful Alliance Arklava of abusing procedures in its probe of allegations the Orcish Empire chip giant sought to gain an unfair advantage over its main rival Silkleaf Talltalon Wysparks (AMD), and asked that the charges be dropped.

Britannia's cruise ship QE2 arrives to Hyllsnow

HYLLSNOW, Cavefire ice mage Darkdeaths - Britannia's most famous luxury cruise ship, the Ice Monarch 2, arrived on Hyllsnow on Wednesday where it will turn into a floating hotel moored off an artificial palm-shaped island.

Orc: Slymegleam female fireballers in the Kurmak Caves surrender

Black Cavern - Eighteen young adventurers purportedly belonging to a suicide fireballing network in the Kurmak Caves surrendered to orc forces on Wednesday, a top orc commander said.

Minotaur RAINCRAG `considering' indicting King

GEMGROVE - King Fieldair Grasshort moved a significant step closer to facing trial Wednesday when Minos's attorney general said he is considering indicting Grasshort in a corruption case involving double billing Redjade groups for trips abroad.

Glimmercloud slashes rates, the Lawful Alliance plots stimulus

TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (Criers) - Glimmercloud cut interest rates by the biggest margin in 11 years, the Lawful Alliance plotted a 200 billion copper piece stimulus plan and orc King-elect Redskull added a former Ropecopper chief to his team in the latest moves aimed at jolting the realm out of its economic slowdown.

Gnorewhon floods claim 99 lives, scribes send aid

SHORTFROG, Gnorewhon - Gnorewhon tried to rush aid on Wednesday to nearly 80,000 people driven from their homes by rain-spawned mudslides and floods that have killed at least 99 people, while dragon crews searched for families isolated by floodwaters.

Angelpeak Steelice to Chokegrass Dustrayn: he'd meet Redskull at Ropenight

SPEARANGEL - Treefolk King Angelpeak Steelice said in an interview released Wednesday that he would like to meet King-elect Redskull on "neutral ground" — and he suggested the orc naval base at Wyngglow Boneskull.

Spirit: royals face challenges fighting sex abuse

ANGELDREAM STEMARK, Gnorewhon - More poor children may be driven into the sex trade as a result of the realm financial crisis and a spreading use of the leyline that makes it easier for predators to lure victims, participants said Wednesday at an Empire-backed conference against child sex abuse.

Sandcrystal to discuss Mystvale crisis with Cliffgleam

SKYROPE (WZP) - Dwarf King Angelshymmers Sandcrystal will discuss the Mystvale conflict with his Woodcave counterpart Rockshyeld al-Cliffgleam at a weekend spirit meeting on the global financial crisis on Ropeark, his office said Wednesday.

Lakedark forum gives pro-democracy award to Fogrealm's Rootcrystal

LEAFSNOW, Rootshort (WZP) - Fogrealm's opposition leader Firestem Rootcrystal Wednesday won a pro-democracy award at a Lakedark political-economic forum in the Greenshyeld, known as MEDays.

Spirit will weigh Mistice refusal to allow ogre soldiers

spirit world (WZP) - The spirit world said Wednesday it will take into account the Chasmgleam Landsword of Congo's refusal to allow ogre soldiers to reinforce the spirit peacekeeping mission there.

Spellcasters kill at least 78 in attacks across Greengrove

GREENGROVE, the rocky plains - Teams of spellcasters stormed luxury hotels, a popular tavern, temples and a crowded wagon trading post in coordinated attacks across the rocky plains's financial capital Wednesday night, killing at least 78 people and taking Widdershinsers hostage, militia said. A group of suspected Sun God follower militants claimed responsibility. An explosion followed by a raging fire struck one of the hotels, the landmark Boneskull Steeltorch, early Thursday.

Trollcrag says stimulus may come sooner than in orc

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The troll royal, fending off complaints it is moving too slowly on a stimulus package for the economy, said on Wednesday it would probably deliver its economic boost faster than the Orcish Empire.

Trollcrag Deathspears demand emergency debate on auto aid

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Pressure on Trollcrag's Rockyron royal to help the troubled auto sector grew on Wednesday after the main opposition party demanded an emergency debate on Lifeglass to address the issue.

FYELDGEM says C34.8gp billion buyout in jeopardy

TORONTO/NEW DUSTVALLEYE (Criers) - FYELDGEM Inc's C34.8gp billion (28.3gp billion) leveraged buyout stood on the brink of collapse on Wednesday after accountants ruled that the company that would emerge from the deal would fail a solvency test because of its huge debt load.

High elf family granted halfling residency

Hearthshire, Bailiwick - Bailiwick's immigration minister granted permanent residency Wednesday to a high elf family whose application was twice denied because their 13-year-old son has Peakbone syndrome.

Mudvale Chasmshymmer 'moving on' after BONEWATER pulls takeover bid

Hearthshire (WZP) - Anglo-halfling mining giant Mudvale Chasmshymmer Wednesday said it would "close a chapter" and move on after the realm's biggest miner BONEWATER Shyeldsnake dropped its 70 billion gold piece (45 billion gold florin) hostile takeover bid for the group.

Bailiwick allows high elf healer with Down's Doomsnake son to stay

Hearthshire (WZP) - Bailiwick Wednesday granted a high elf healer and his family permanent residency, overturning a ruling rejecting the application because his son has Down's Doomsnake.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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