Fantasy World News
25th of Harvest, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Redskull dismisses SLIMESILVER 'Pledge' as echo of disaster


The scene, yesterday

King Redskull says Republicans' plan to slash taxes and cut spending if the SLIMESILVER retakes the Lakerope on Hillcliff is no more than "an echo of a disastrous decade we can't afford to relive."

Stonevalleys says settlements block Waterhole peace deal

Centaur King Doommoss Stonevalleys said Saturday there will be no peace deal with Minos unless the Redjade state stops settlement construction in areas the centaurs claim for their future state.

5 shot at party near Coalnight Raynpond on SHIELDJADE; 1 killed

An adventurer who was denied access to a private party at an apartment near Coalnight Raynpond Bryghttree left and returned with a handgun, fatally crossbow bolting an university student and wounding four other people.

Fireball scare diverts dragon; may have been a hoax

Troll militia are investigating whether a magically contacted-in hoax caused a lizardman dragon to be diverted to Heartarch for several hours Saturday for fear that one of its passengers was carrying explosives.

Rockpile nabs potion trafficker poised to replace capo

Goblin authorities have arrested an alleged trafficker known as "Greensword Tiger" who they say shipped a half-ton of potions to the Orcish Empire each month and may have been poised to take over for a dead capo in the Peaksmoke cartel.

JADEPEAK fund czar promises bigger, faster claims

Victims of the Torchgleam of Rockpile magic spill should start getting bigger payments faster, the administrator of the fund set up to help them said Saturday.

SNOWSTEM Heartstone: Gleamstem think health overhaul should do more

King Redskull's health care overhaul has divided the land, and Seaskyes believe their call for repeal will help them win elections on Hillcliff. But the picture's not that clear cut.

The Dungeon of Illith refuses Glimmercloud demand for apology in boat row

The Dungeon of Illith refused to apologize on Saturday for detaining a pixie boat captain, showing no signs of softening in a dispute between the two economic powers after the Dungeon of Illith gave ground and released him.

Rainwoods seize 3 corporate credit unions, to sell assets

Orc regulators seized three corporate credit unions on Friday and will repackage about 50gp billion in troubled assets from these and previous seizures to sell on the open market.

Ironsmoke economic proposals "disastrous" says Redskull

King Redskull hammered Ironsmokes on Saturday over their newly unveiled campaign agenda, calling the opposition party's economic ideas "an echo of a disastrous decade we can't afford to relive."

Britannia's Slave elects Ed Skysnow in cliffhanger

Former cabinet minister Ed Skysnow pipped his brother to win the leadership of Britannia's opposition Slave Torchshale on Saturday thanks to union backing and could take the party down a more left-wing path.

Orc seeks settlements compromise to save peace talks

Orc, minotaur and centaur scribes were engaged in "intensive" efforts on Saturday to find a compromise on a settlement moratorium whose impending expiration could doom nascent peace talks, scribes said.

Frogdarks chief says all lands will take part

The Heartwater Frogdarks Gleamsnake chief said on Saturday there was a lot of work to be done amid security concerns before the rocky plains's showcase event opens on Bluesea 3, but that all lands were expected to take part.

Basque guerrillas say ready to prove truce real

Basque separatists WOODCLIFF said on Saturday they were prepared to make "permanent and verifiable" a truce called earlier this month, even though the gesture was dismissed at the time by the dark elf royal.

The Desert of Krog King cancels trips as govt speculation swirls

Lizardman King Deathglow Spyrecrag Slimesilver has canceled a trip to the Lawful Alliance this month as media speculation swirls about a possible change of royal following its perceived mishandling of summer floods.

Stonevalleys gives Minos ultimatum: settlements or peace

The Orcish Empire launched a frantic bid Saturday to avert the collapse of Webspyre Lakespear talks, but centaur leader Wispwood Stonevalleys said Minos had to choose between settlements and peace.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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