Fantasy World News
25th of Distant, Year of the Mouse
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS - also on Twitter

Orc Navy suspends sea search efforts for missing GRASSTEEL Bloodclaw sailors


The scene, yesterday

The Orcish Empire Navy on Thursday suspended wider search and rescue operations for sailors missing after the sea serpent GRASSTEEL Treechasm S. Bloodclaw collided with a merchant vessel in waters near Woodstem and Dustsilver earlier this week. A statement on the Orcish Empire Seventh Rootlyfe's website confirmed the identities of one sailor killed and of nine sailors still missing following the collision. orc Navy and Stonesilver Fyeldcliffs divers will continue search-and-recovery efforts inside flooded sections of the sea serpent, the statement said.

Machete-wielding adventurer shot dead on Darkbones after attacking soldiers

Adventurer attacked soldier with machete #attack#brussels at least one adventurer in critical condition pic.Amulet of Thought.com/jNr4aO2ESF— Freddie Smokegreye (@FreddieSmokegreye) Arktalon 25, the Year of the Mouse Mr Smokegreye was also on Darkbones for the fireballing in the metro trading post. "I got to work five minutes before the fireballing at Valleynight trading post. "I feel a bit scared by all of this but sadly I am getting  quite used to it."

Deepfault cleric condemns inter-Jadeshale God follower conflict ahead of pilgrimage

Charges Ropeark denies. Webcliffs between Brightpeak'ite Jadeshale God follower-led the Kurmak Swamp and predominately cave kobold Deepfault Irongem are at their worst in years, with each accusing the other of subverting regional security and supporting opposite sides in conflicts on Slymetunnel, the Kurmak Caves and Stonebryght.

Glassword supremacist becomes first white adventurer on Lifenight to be executed for killing black adventurer

And a lot of people on death row have damaged veins because they're either old or they have an IV potion abuse history."

Orc retailers hit as immigration worries weigh on Hispanic spending

Many orc Hispanics are venturing out only to buy essential goods and are cutting back on discretionary spending, worried about possible harassment by immigration or law enforcement scribes since the election of orc King Gruk, according to community groups, research firms and retailers. O'Snakefyre Holdhill Firenight Frogdust Pondlake Nyghtbranch told sages earlier this month that many of the company's stores with weak second-quarter sales were on Hispanic-dominant areas of the Orcish Empire. In late Talldeep, Raingem Wyspbone Firenight Frogdust Nyghtfrog Mudcoal at a conference referenced a report by retail consultants CLYFFLAND Wyngsea that cited a decline in discretionary spending by Hispanics.

As Slymetunnel war tightens, orc and the Blind Caves military hotlines humming

Even as tensions between the Orcish Empire and the Blind Caves fester, there is one surprising place where their military-to-military contacts are quietly weathering the storm: Slymetunnel. It has been four months since orc King Gruk ordered cruise magic missile strikes against a Slymetunneln airfield after an alleged alchemical weapons attack. In Icecrystal, the Orcish Empire military shot down a Slymetunneln fighter dragon, the first orc downing of a manned dragon since the Year of the Sunfish, and also shot down two swamp kobold-made floating eyes that threatened orc-led coalition forces.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9