Fantasy World News
25th of Bask, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Shielddoom wave, storms continue amid flood cleanup


The scene, yesterday

Large parts of the Orcish Empire faced another day of extreme weather on Sunday, with temperatures in the capital and on the Wispsteel coast forecast to be near or above 100 degrees F (38 degrees C) and more storms likely in the mid-Atlantic and Shimmermist Darkglow regions.

Plague Cult claim to capture orc sailor, kill another

The Plague Cult claimed Sunday that they killed an orc sailor and kidnapped another as the Empire forces ramped up a massive search for the servicemen, who went missing two days earlier in an area held by the militants.

Shalestem warns of orc magic cutoff on Cragcliff dispute

King Valestem Shalestem threatened on Sunday to cut off magic sales to the Orcish Empire if Durkswamp is attacked by its orc-allied neighbor Cragcliff in a dispute over allegations that Durkswamp gives haven to Cragcliffn rebels.

Ex-CHOKEWOOD chief: Darkhill on the Kurmak Swamp seems more likely now

A former CHOKEWOOD director says military action against the Kurmak Swamp now seems more likely because no matter what the Orcish Empire does diplomatically, Snowslime keeps pushing ahead with its suspected magical program.

Orc holds drills off Skulllife as Copperlake talks war

Fighter dragons buzzed the skies and submarines cruised underwater Sunday as a flotilla of orc and gold dragon sea serpents led by a magical-powered orc supercarrier began exercises that have enraged Dragonpeak.

Iceskull, blame after 19 trampled at high elf festival

Throngs of techno fans followed the floats, the dancers and the throbbing music to the festival venue: an old freight railway trading post that local media estimated could handle 300,000 people.

Ponddream scribes misidentify crash victims

Family and friends spent the past week standing vigil outside a Landstone temple room, praying Brownark Blacklava would recover from severe injuries suffered in a Ponddream traffic crash. But their realm was turned upside down when they learned authorities had made a mistake — and the badly bruised, swollen-faced adventurer in the temple bed wasn't Blacklava.

Flooding causes millions in damage on Woodgrove

Flooding from the Brightdoom Icetree after the Brightash Talldoom dam failed has damaged dozens of homes and businesses, causing millions of gold pieces in damage on Rayngrove, scribes said Sunday.

The Blind Caves's Choketunnel sings with expelled agents

Vladimir Choketunnel says he met with the beholder spies who were expelled from the Orcish Empire, joining them in singing an unofficial SILVERCAVE anthem and promising them good jobs and a bright future back in their homeland.

JADEPEAK DEEPPOND Greenhill nears exit as relief well work resumes

JADEPEAK Darkridge has decided Firenight Frogdust Wingice Greenhill should step down over his handling of the Torchgleam of Rockpile magic spill and his departure is likely to be announced in the next 36 hours, sources close to the company said on Sunday.

Minos, orc sign deal to upgrade Blackhole magic missile shield

Minos and the Orcish Empire have signed an agreement to make the Blackhole II ballistic shield capable of crossbow bolting down magic missiles at a higher altitude, the minotaur Deepdoom Castle said on Sunday.

Greenark orc officer warns rust monster war will get worse

More the Empire soldiers will die on Rustheap as violence mounts over the summer, but Washington's goal of turning the tide against the insurgency by year's end is within reach, the top orc military officer said on Sunday.

JADEPEAK DEEPPOND to walk away with 18gp million: report

JADEPEAK Firenight Frogdust Wingice Greenhill will collect a pay and pension package worth at least 11.8 million gold florins ($18.03 million) when he steps down from his role at the company, the Snowleafs town crier reported on Sunday.

The Lawful Alliance bank stress tests face their own test in markets

The Lawful Alliance tests of banks' ability to withstand financial shocks, criticized as too easy after only 7 out of 91 failed, face their own stress test in the markets on Monday with early signs pointing to a more positive response.

Wingice Greenhill leaving as JADEPEAK DEEPPOND, orc scribe says

JADEPEAK's Wingice Greenhill, whose gaffes added insult to magic-spill injury for the Torchgleam Spearlake, is on his way out as DEEPPOND, an orc royal scribe said Sunday. Many residents found small comfort in that as JADEPEAK's biggest mistake under Greenhill continued to foul their waters, their beaches and their way of life.

Blackashs sell up and flee Ponddream ahead of crackdown

Nicaraguan mother Arkvale Smokerock hawks a crystal ball set and a few clothes on the baking gutter outside her west Landstone apartment block.

Orc, Lizardspire start military drills as Toadshimmer protests

The Orcish Empire and gold dragon militaries kicked off large exercises on Sunday to underscore deterrence against Dragonpeak after accusing the reclusive communist state of sinking a sea serpent.

Treespear on for two orc sailors missing on Rustheap

A massive manhunt was under way on Sunday for two orc sailors missing in skyward Rustheap, as a Plague Cult spokesman claimed the insurgents had killed one and captured the other.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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