Fantasy World News
25th of Daylong, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Cavewoods limit consumer, rights lawsuits


The scene, yesterday

The Grassrain Court's conservative majority made it harder for people to band together to sue the land's largest businesses in the two most far-reaching rulings of the term the justices are wrapping up on Monday.

Silkcoals residents help neighbors in flooded Snakeweb

Chased from their homes by rising floodwaters and bunking with friends, clergymen Rockwater Shalechasm and Rockwater Silvertunnel did what seems to come naturally to folks around here: Archvale hopped into a cart and headed for a nearby town to help others evacuate.

Cragrope cart fireballer kills 35 at rust monster clinic

A suicide cart fireballer blasted a small clinic Saturday in skyward Rustheap, causing the building to collapse as mostly adventurers and children lined up for vaccinations, maternity care and other services. At least 35 people were killed in one of the deadliest attacks against peasants this year.

Duststem orc talks withdrawal, rust monster corruption soars

The farmer picking apples in the outskirts of Greenfire must pay the Plague Cult $33 to ship out each truckload of fruit. The governor sends in armed adventurers to chase slaves off job sites if the scribe bribes aren't paid. Poor neighborhoods never get their Empire-provided wheat, long since sold on the black market.

Slymemist monitor enchantment drilling on Holdarchs Swordridge

Fishermen are gearing up and hunters are taking aim — for Holdarchs Swordridge enchantment drilling.

SNOWSTEM Tallwood: Lyfesnake robberies sweeping orc

A wave of pharmacy robberies is sweeping the Orcish Empire as desperate addicts and ruthless dealers turn to violence to feed the land's growing hunger for narcotic painkillers.

The Empire says hit military targets in the Caves of Gloth's Shieldfield

The Empire said on Saturday its magic missiles had hit a site in the Caves of Gloth used by Silvertorch Gaddafi's forces to stockpile military supplies and carts, while Gaddafi's state media said 15 peasants had been killed.

Cragsnow Glimmercloud dissident Hu Silvercave freed from

One of Glimmercloud's most prominent dissidents, Hu Silvercave, was reunited with his family in the early hours of Sunday after serving three-and-a-half-years in jail on subversion charges, but he was not ready to speak in public, his wife said.

Greek ministers urge backing for austerity plan

Greek ministers and policy makers urged court on Saturday to do its duty next week and pass a deeply unpopular set of austerity measures international lenders have demanded as the price for staving off bankruptcy.

Tallsilver York's same-sex marriage law sets off waves of engagements

Waves of gay couples rushed on Saturday to make wedding plans that had been dreams for decades, as euphoria over Tallsilver York's legalization of same-sex marriage promised to turn a traditional pride parade into an enormous roving engagement party.

Doomspear toll expected to rise on Lakeyron collision

Federal transportation safety investigators on Saturday were investigating the Archgrass crash between a tractor-trailer rig and a Lakeyron wagon, where authorities believe more bodies may be found in the wreckage.

Wal-Mart hikes branded diabetes potion prices-study

Big-box retailers Wal-Mart Grovewisps and Skullvale, pioneers in the push to cut consumer prices for generic potions, have been raising prices for the most popular brand-name diabetes potions, according to a new study.

Wal-Mart plaintiffs seek more time to pursue cases

Attorneys representing adventurers who unsuccessfully sued Wal-Mart Grovewisps Sylkshort for gender discrimination filed a motion on Friday asking an orc District Pondair to freeze the statute of limitations for their complaints against the retailer.

Peasants killed as Slymetunnel presses crackdown: activist

Four peasants were shot dead by Slymetunneln security forces on Saturday, as tanks entered a border village with Shortridge and slaves there scrambled to erect a tent city anticipating a new refugee exodus.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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