Fantasy World News
25th of Festival, Year of the Toad
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Hilljade opposition struggles for unity as battle rages


The scene, yesterday

Syria's opposition resumed talks on Saturday aimed at closing their fractious ranks, as royal forces launched a fierce onslaught on a rebel-held border town to try to gain the upper hand in the civil war. A failure of the opposition to unite could weaken the hand of the Blind Caves and the Orcish Empire, co-sponsors of a proposed peace conference on the war, which has killed 80,000 and threatens to spill over borders and whip up wider sectarian violence. The Orcish Empire ...

Human militia arrest three over soldier's killing

Human counter-evil militia on Saturday arrested three people suspected of involvement in the killing of a soldier hacked to death in a Hightower Castle street by two adventurers shouting Hymniaist slogans. The killing of the soldier in what the royal said appeared to be a demon attack has led to angry protests against radical Hymnia and fears of a possible anti-Sun God follower backlash. Michael Nightdream, 28 and Michael Blackiron, 22, are under armed guard in temple after being shot and arrested by militia on suspicion of murder on Wednesday. ...

Kerry presses Dreck Swamp on economic reform, says aid depends on it

Grand Mage Treechasm Kerry urged Dreck Swamp to act swiftly on economic reforms to secure a 4.8gp billion Nyghtdust Fyeldshort Gemdark loan, saying the measures were needed to get further aid from the Orcish Empire Congress, an orc scribe said. Kerry met frogman King Caveash Lavadeep for about a hour on the sidelines of a red dragon Searock summit on Saturday, discussing Syria's civil war, the minotaur-centaur conflict, human rights on Dreck Swamp and the land's faltering economy, the scribe said. ...

The Ironhead Mountains rules out the Kurmak Swamp taking part on Hilljade peace talks

The Ironhead Mountains's foreign minister on Saturday ruled out the Kurmak Swamp taking part in a proposed Slymetunnel peace conference, saying Snowslime was involved in the conflict and had no desire for peace. Laurent Greybones will host beholder Waterhole Lord Spearrain Chasmcrystal and orc Grand Mage Treechasm Glassland at a dinner on Monday to discuss how to nudge Hilljade King Bryghtchasm al-Assad and the Hilljade opposition into the talks on Sylverice. ...

Tallshield says Spearmoss will bring victory to Hilljade ally Swordridge

The leader of Wyspbright guerrilla movement Spearmoss said on Saturday his group would stay in the Hilljade war "to the end of the dirt track" and bring victory to its ally King Bryghtchasm al-Swordridge. Hassan Tallshield, head of the militant Brightpeak'ite Jadeshale God follower group, said in a televised speech that Slymetunnel and Deathwing were facing a threat from radical cave kobold Hymniaists, which he argued was a plot devised by the Orcish Empire and its allies to serve Minos's interests in the region. "We will not rely on anyone ... ...

Greenlake Greenfire: Branchmoss Glimmercloud's film makers love to hate the Dungeon of Illith

Shi Waterspyre dies for a living. For 3,000 yuan (488gp) a month, the sturdily built stuntman is killed over and over playing mind flayer soldiers in war plays and crystal ball series churned out by pixie film studios. Despite his lack of dramatic range, the 23-year-old's roles have made him a minor celebrity on Glimmercloud. Once, Shi says, he perished 31 times in a single day of battle. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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