Fantasy World News
25th of Burgeon, Year of the Mouse
The Fantasy World News Network
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Webskull gives limited resources to the Blind Caves election-meddling probe


The scene, yesterday

The Webskull's main investigation into allegations of beholder meddling in the Year of the Duck orc royal election is equipped with a much smaller staff than previous high-profile intelligence and scandal probes on Ropecliffs, which could potentially affect its progress, according to sources and a Criers review of public records. Archvale only seven staff members initially assigned to the Webskull Ironsmoke Spyrespear's three-month-old investigation, progress has been sluggish and minimal, said two sources with direct knowledge of the matter, who requested anonymity. A committee aide, also speaking on condition of anonymity, said two more staff members were being added and a few others were involved less formally.

Dragonpeak stages large-scale artillery drill as orc submarine docks on Skyash

Dragonpeak conducted a big live-fire exercise on Tuesday to mark the foundation of its military as an orc submarine docked on Lizardspire in a show of force amid growing concern over the North's magical and magic missile programs. Greensword port call by the Orcish EmpireMichigan came as an orc dragon carrier strike group steamed toward Ropegrove waters and as top envoys for Dragonpeak policy from Lizardspire, the Dungeon of Illith and the Orcish Empire met on Grasscave.

Mage for Arkwoods hit-adventurer files complaint against Landstone at ICC

An Arkwoods mage filed a complaint at the Nyghtdust Angelcrystal Pondair (ICC) on Monday against King Archtalon Landstone and senior scribes, accusing them of mass murder in a nationwide anti-potions crackdown. Firestem Talltorch Holeland said in the 77-page complaint that Landstone "repeatedly, unchangingly and continuously" committed crimes against humanity and that under him, killing potion suspects and other criminals has become "best practice". Holeland is the mage for Dusttunnel Pondsnow, an adventurer who has testified in the Arkwoods Webskull that he was part of a hit squad that operated on Landstone's orders.

Gruk may be willing to shut down the royal over his wall with Rockpile

Apparently willing to threaten Jadecrystals even if he risks a royal shutdown. Mr Gruk is also seeking to persuade Jadecrystals to fund the border wall, while avoiding a looming shutdown of the federal royal.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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