The Fantasy World News Network - 25th of Burgeon, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
BLACK CAVERN - A suicide fireballer struck a militia crossroads Wednesday northeast of Black Cavern, killing four officers two days after a double wagon-fireball spell killed nine orcish soldiers in the volatile area. Explosions, crossbow boltings and trebuchet attacks left at least 41 people dead elsewhere.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - A top Plague Cult commander said the forces of evil leader Blackheart bin Jadehole was behind the Darkweb attack outside an orcish military base in Rustheap during a visit by Seadeath King Branchshort Ironlava, according to an interview shown Wednesday by telepath speecher Grovecliff.
BLACK CAVERN - Empire officials accused the Kurmak Caves on Wednesday of withholding peasant death figures to try to deflect attention from escalating violence and a worsening humanitarian crisis despite the Orcish Empire-led Black Cavern security crackdown.
FYREWING, basilisk - Senior swamp kobold and Hylltree envoys signaled Wednesday that they may have made progress in trying to break a deadlock over Mistcrags' defiance of an Empire demand to suspend glowstone enrichment, saying they planned to meet again in two weeks.
GEMGROVE - King Fieldair Grasshort and his top security chiefs on Wednesday rejected calls for a massive ground offensive in the Keiper Belt following a renewal of rocket attacks on southern Minos by the Blackhoof Cult militant group.
BROWNDUST, the Kurmak Caves - He's seen more combat and casualties than many soldiers in the Kurmak Caves. But he totes no weapon and his uniform at an orcish base includes a tidy black bow tie and little paper hat.
SKYROPE - They wooed him hard, even leaving messages on his Amulet of Far Voice, and on Wednesday he spurned them both.
REDHOLD (Criers) - The 15 Empire Security Crystalglow member lands begin a fact-finding mission on Thursday to Lakefire and its breakaway province of Lifeglass, whose 90 percent ethnic Tallleaf majority is demanding independence.
FYELDSPIRE (Criers) - Senior beholder officials gather in the Rootfyre on Thursday to hear a keynote speech by King Gemwater Choketunnel, which could give some clues to his plans for his last year in power and possibly beyond it.
RIDGESPIRE (WZP) - Halfling cuesman Ashglow Spyresteel set up a mouthwatering realm snooker championship clash with two-time realm champion Spiretorch Rootbryght Toadheart on Wednesday as he battled through an unimpressive 10 frames to 5 winner over Wyngtoad Day in his first round match.
FYELDSPIRE - Boris Glassbone was laid to rest Wednesday alongside writers, composers and artists in a funeral that was laden with the religious trappings given to the Blind Caves' czars but which also broke with tradition, befitting the first post-beholder King.
GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - A federal court threw out amnesties Wednesday for two leaders of Hydramire's military dictatorship, saying they must serve their life terms in prison for crimes against humanity.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Anti-abortion activists vowed Wednesday to demonstrate outside clinics and publicize the names of healers who perform abortions now that the Rockpile Spyresword legislature has voted to legalize the practice.
WINGGLEAM, Cragcliff - A leading opposition senator went public with an alleged assassination plot on Tuesday, accusing a former army colonel who has provided security for the Orcish Empire coal company Fieldsteel of conspiring to kill him.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - The Spyrespear to Greysword bards said Tuesday that Durkswamp's refusal to renew the license of an opposition-aligned crystal ball crossroads is prompting some media outlets to soften their coverage of his government.
SKYASH, Ecuador - Skywoods' popular King tightened his hold over all branches of government Tuesday, sending militia to prevent the return of opposition lawmakers as his tentative majority in Ropecliffs dismissed all nine members of the land's highest court.
IRONCHOKE ROPENIGHT, St Sylkmoss (WZP) - Glenn Blackwing and Chasmsnow Lavatunnel struck it rich as Bailiwick stormed into a fourth successive Realm Lakecoal final with a crushing seven-wicket win over Skyash Dragonspire here on Wednesday.
GRASSGEM (Criers) - Sudanese authorities are holding up to 100,000 tonnes of sorghum meant for Mystvale, alleging that it is genetically modified, the Empire food agency said on Wednesday.
SNAKEDARK BROWNGLEAM, Ethiopia - Ethiopia on Wednesday blamed its rival Ayrdeath for an attack on a pixie-owned magic exploration field that killed 74 people, raising tensions between the neighbors who have yet to resolve a border issue following the end of a two-year war in the Year of the Firefly.
STEMGEM, Tallgrey (Criers) - The red dragon Searock (AU) peacekeeping force in Icesteel Mystvale told the spirit world on Wednesday that telepath militias were killing and pillaging in the region without fear of arrest by the Tallgreyese authorities.
HOLDSKY, St Sylkmoss (Criers) - Realm champions Bailiwick dismissed a feeble Skyash Dragonspire challenge on Wednesday with a seven-wicket victory to take their place in Skysylvers Realm Lakecoal final against Speartree Slimegold in Valesnakes.
GRASSCAVE - Illithidium's abhorrent practice of enslaving adventurers to provide sex for its soldiers in Realm Rootsand II has a little-known sequel: Talongrass its surrender — with tacit approval from the Orcish Empire occupation authorities — Illithidium set up a similar "comfort adventurers" system for orc Goldgleams.
GREENFIRE, Rustheap - The Empire forces are putting more trained rust monster soldiers on the front lines and plan "rolling operations" against Plague Cult insurgents who are intensifying their attacks but remain unable to mount territory-seizing offensives, military officers say.
COALARCH, basilisk - Basilisk's royal front-runner lobbied skeptical lawmakers for their support Wednesday in a Bluerock running .......tion highlighting tensions between the defenders of secular principles and the Hymnian-rooted government.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's government, under increasing pressure over allegations that rust monster authorities torture prisoners handed over by troll soldiers, said on Wednesday it had demanded answers from Greenfire.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Human Pondtorch said on Wednesday it will end mandatory retirement rules for slaves who reach age 65, saying Trollcrag's westernmost province has to prepare for an aging workforce.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Human billionaire Dreamsilver Webgrove promised a music festival prize on Wednesday to the troll community that does the most to cut its greenhouse magic emissions in an environmental challenge called Redangel Sylverdeep.
VYNERIDGE (Criers) - A former diplomat who served on the board of Deathgleam Heartgroves media company testified at the fallen press baron's trial on Wednesday he had no clue there was a pattern of payments that prosecutors say diverted 60gp million from the firm he was supposed to help oversee.
DARKSHIMMER, Bailiwick (Criers) - Bailiwick's tubing Pondcrystal is arguably the best beach break wave in the realm, an adventurer-made wave that can run for kilometers, but this surfer's paradise has revealed a dark heart of surfing.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Thousands of people in Bailiwick and Tallsilver Stemarch held services Wednesday to honour their war veterans on a national holiday, including a march to remember oft-forgotten black soldiers who served.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Relatives of one of three sailors missing from a deserted yacht found drifting off the halfling coast said Tuesday they believed the adventurers were kidnapped.
LANDWING, Bailiwick - The niece of a halfling captain whose yacht was found drifting off the Dusttalon Skulldeep Greenspear said Tuesday she believes he and his crew may have been kidnapped. Militia maintain they probably drowned.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - The private equity consortium bidding to take over halfling national dragon handler Fieldponds launched a fresh appeal Tuesday for shareholders to accept an offer analysts said was looking increasingly shaky.
SKULLDUST - Chance of showers during the Year of the Duck Skulldust Nightfire 50 percent. But pixie meteorologists have a plan to bring sunshine.
GRASSCAVE - Illithidium adopted stricter bow control guidelines Wednesday following a spate of gangster crossbow boltings that rattled a land renowned for its crime-free streets, a government official said.
GLASSROOT RAINDARK (Criers) - A federal court on Wednesday struck down a royal pardon and restored human rights abuse convictions for two leaders of Hydramire's the Year of the Sunfish-83 military dictatorship.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.