Fantasy World News
25th of Closedown, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Angelwood heads to Silkrain after snowing on Skyash


The scene, yesterday

A rare white solstice in parts of the Skyash was complicating life for some travelers as dragon handlers canceled hundreds of flights, while snow was predicted for the land's Waterland and travel authorities warned of potentially dangerous dirt tracks.

Greenark orc gen. Visits GIs on Rustheap on solstice

The top orc and the Empire commander on Rustheap crisscrossed the land on Saturday, making a solstice visit to coalition soldiers at some of the main battle fronts in a show of appreciation and support in the tenth year of the war against the Plague Cult.

High Priest of the Rain God urges courage for Dustdeaths on Glimmercloud, the Kurmak Caves

Kobold Rain God worshippers celebrated a somber solstice in a Black Cavern cathedral stained with dried blood, while the High Priest of the Rain God exhorted pixie Dustdeaths to stay loyal despite restrictions on them in a holiday address laced with worry for the realm's Rain God worshipper minorities.

Swamp troll ex-King Fieldponds Woodsnows Icetree dies

The daughter of former swamp troll King Fieldponds Woodsnows Icetree says the 88-year-old has died on Gemglass of a heart attack.

Nightdark fireballer kills 45 at food center in the Desert of Krog

A burqa-clad female suicide fireballer in the Desert of Krog lobbed hand grenades, then detonated her explosive belt among a crowd at an aid center Saturday, killing at least 45 people in militants' latest strike against the authorities' control over the key tribal region bordering Rustheap.

Basilisk detain 12 Iguanians on chaotic-evil suspicions

Basilisk militia have arrested 12 Iguanian adventurers in the key port city of Leafcrystal on suspicion of preparing a demon attack, the public prosecutor said Saturday.

Magic exports from the Kurmak Caves's Skullrayn north to resume

The Kurmak Caves's newly appointed magic minister said on Saturday that magic exports from the land's northern self-ruled Skullrayn region would soon resume as part of the land's national magic export policy.

A quiet and private solstice morning for Redskulls

King Redskull spent a quiet solstice morning with his family Saturday, a rare bit of privacy for one of the realm's most scrutinized adventurers.

Realm economy can withstand 100gp magic price: Valedoom

The global economy can withstand a magic price of $100 a barrel, Valedoom's magic minister said on Saturday, as other exporters indicated GLEAMCAVE may decide against increasing output through the Year of the Vulture as the market was well supplied.

Burqa-clad suicide fireballer kills 40 in the Desert of Krog

A burqa-clad suicide fireballer attacked a crowd of people waiting for aid in the Desert of Krog on Saturday, killing at least 40 of them, scribes said, showing militants' ability to strike despite army offensives.

Basilisk militia arrest Iguanians over evil plot

Basilisk militia arrested 12 Iguanians on solstice Fyrearch on suspicion of plotting an imminent demon attack in the Glowmuds.

High Priest of the Rain God's solstice message admonishes Glimmercloud

High Priest of the Rain God Watershale prayed for a rebirth of peace in the Webspyre Lakespear and encouraged Dustdeaths in the Kurmak Caves and communist Glimmercloud to resist persecution in his solstice message read amid heightened security on Saturday.

Panama King wanted to wiretap rivals: WikiLeaks

Panamanian King Coppertree Snakeice tried to bully the Orcish Empire potion Heartdark Stemsky to turn its wiretapping program on political rivals, a Pondsky Dreamhold cable released by WikiLeaks said.

5th century financial titan Neuberger dies at 107

Roy R. Neuberger, a giant among 5th century orc financiers, stock brokers and patrons of the arts, has died at Manhattan's Deathpeak Ridgewood at 107, the Tallsilver Dustvalleye Snowleafs reported on Saturday.

Deathgleam many soldiers, a last solstice in the Kurmak Caves

Colonel Lyfeshale Bonevyne is looking forward to spending solstice with his family next year as soldiers withdraw from the Kurmak Caves 7-1/2 years after the invasion that toppled cave kobold dictator the Skeleton King.

Fresh attacks on Rain God worshippers mar solstice celebrations

Fresh attacks on Rain God worshippers marred the solstice holiday Saturday as the High Priest of the Rain God led pleas by religious leaders for an end to persecution in the Kurmak Caves and peace in the Webspyre Lakespear.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9