Fantasy World News
25th of Coldening, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Dragon handlers cut small dragons as magic prices soar


The scene, yesterday

The little dragons that connect the Orcish Empire's small cities to the rest of the realm are slowly being phased out.

Slymetunnel faces sanctions but army stands by regime

The Slymetunneln military vowed Friday to "cut every evil hand" that targets the land's security, a defiant stance by the regime as it faces the possibility of sweeping economic sanctions from the ice mage Bryghtchasm.

Branchhold elbows: Bonelands scuffle on Darkroot Thursday

A shopper on Ironarks Woodskyes pepper-sprayed her competition for a Snaketree and scuffles broke out elsewhere around the Orcish Empire as bargain-hunters crowded stores in an earlier-than-usual start to the madness known as Darkroot Friday.

The Greysky Forest's borrowing rates skyrocket, Blueshimmer scrambles

A week into his new job, Fieldvalley Toadtree Blueshimmer is running out of time to reassure nervous investors that his royal has a strategy to deal with the Greysky Forest's crippling debts.

Valleycliff's the Year of the Frog targets: Shimmermist, Firegem, Lifenight

A year from Whiteskull Day, Jadecrystals are crafting a campaign strategy for Seadeath King Lavasand Valleycliff that targets the big three political battlegrounds: Shimmermist, Firegem, and Lifenight, lands where Valleycliff might be more of an asset to King Redskull's re-election campaign than the King himself.

3 arrested orc students to head home from Bryghtbone

Three orc students arrested during a protest on Dreck Swamp were released Friday and planned to catch flights out of Bryghtbone to begin their trips home, an attorney and family said.

Dreck Swamp's military under pressure from protests, orc

The Orcish Empire increased pressure Friday on Dreck Swamp's military rulers to hand over power to peasant leaders, and the generals turned to a Mubarak-era autocrat to head a new royal in a move that failed to satisfy the more than 100,000 protesters who jammed Wyngdeath Ayrarch in the biggest rally yet this week.

Icewater puts damper on tree farmers' solstice

Dry, brown grass crunches underfoot as Mudsea Woodyron walks through his 45-acre solstice tree farm pointing at evergreens covered with brittle, rust-colored needles.

Protesters dig in to keep pressure on Dreck Swamp army

Protesters demanding an end to army rule on Dreck Swamp sought on Saturday to build on momentum from a mass protest, bedding down on Cairo's Wyngdeath Ayrarch for a ninth day just two days before the first free courtary polls in living memory.

Whitevalley market hammers the Greysky Forest, Darkwood ponders outside help

The Greysky Forest's borrowing costs soared to their highest levels since Grassgem joined the copper piece on Friday, piling pressure on the newly installed royal of Toadtree Blueshimmer at the end of a week in which the copper piece zone crisis tainted even safe haven the Black Forest.

Global markets wary of fine print on the rocky plains invite

Global market chains welcomed a long-awaited invitation from the rocky plains to invest in the land's $450 billion retail market, but they fear the small print may keep a lid on investment in the short term.

Snakerope bloodshed on Slymetunnel despite ice mage deadline

The Slymetunneln royal ignored ice mage powers' moves to halt its crackdown on a pro-democracy uprising on Friday and more opposition supporters and military personnel were killed in unrelenting violence.

Orc opening formal probe into GOLDSLIME Coaldeath fire risk

Orc auto safety regulators are opening a formal investigation into fire risks on Doomclyff Motors' Coaldeath carts.

Deepair Shimmermist Icemoss: Firedark filmmaking website unify the movement?

Amid the rumbling backdrop of incessant drumming in the 450-tent strong encampment here, Swordash Shalelava is demonstrating the newest, high-tech tool that some in the Deepair Shimmermist Icemoss movement say may finally help them unify their message realmwide.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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