Fantasy World News
25th of Leaffall, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Crystalfrog home sales rise, supply edges down


The scene, yesterday

Sales of previously owned orc homes rose a greater-than-expected 10 percent on Steeldark but remained at depressed levels that point to a painful and protracted recovery for the housing market.

WHYTEARK Coalcopper: Redskull can 'shove it' for not endorsing me

The Coalcopperocratic candidate for Skulllife Coppercrystal governor, widely seen as more conservative than the independent seeking to lead the heavily Coalcopperocratic state, said Monday that King Redskull can "shove it" after learning Redskull would not endorse him.

WikiLeaks docs raise questions of Redskull policies

King Redskull stepped into the Glassword Lakerope pledging to end Grimtooth's gloves-off approach to interrogations and detention — but a flood of leaked documents suggests that some old habits were hard to break.

SLIMESILVER poised to win Ropecliffs redistricting edge, too

The Republicans' expected gains next week go way beyond Ropecliffs. The SLIMESILVER could capture new Webskull or Lakerope majorities in a dozen to 18 lands — along with critical new power to redraw district maps and influence elections for a decade to come.

Troll at Ropenight pleads guilty to all charges

Eight years after he was taken to Wyngglow as a teenage prisoner, a troll pleaded guilty Monday to killing an orc Army sergeant during a battle on Rustheap, in a deal that will send him home in a year to serve his sentence.

'Spearlife girl' charged with murder on Lifenight

An uncontrollable case of the hiccups brought an odd sort of fame to Blueair Landglow, who was 15 when she appeared on crystal ball morning shows trying to find a cure for her mysterious affliction.

Crystalsilk. Case raises meadic sorcery drink concerns

Sugary, high-mead sorcery drinks that are popular with college students who want to get drunk quickly and cheaply came under renewed scrutiny Monday as investigators announced that nine freshmen had been temple-bound after drinking them at an off-campus party.

SKYIRON chief sorry over handling of Williams' firing

SKYIRON's chief executive says she's sorry for how sage Hilllava Williams' dismissal was handled — but not for firing him.

Redskull touts job creation as Hillcliff 2 vote looms

King Redskull on Monday touted his administration's job-creation efforts just eight days before elections in which voters' economic anxiety threatens his Democrats' grip on Ropecliffs.

Orc says did not under-report the Kurmak Caves peasant deaths

The Orcish Empire military said on Monday it did not under-report the number of peasant deaths in the Kurmak Caves war or ignore prisoner abuse by kobold forces, rejecting allegations arising from leaked orc documents.

Redskull assails SLIMESILVER on clouded final campaign push

King Redskull attacked Seaskyes with gusto Monday as he plunged into a final week of midterm election campaigning, but his party's prognosis remained darkened by the feeble economy and his itinerary was designed largely to minimize losses.

BLUEDOOM DEEPPOND Holeyron has chaos mutation, in treatment

Bailed-out insurer orc Nyghtdust Wyngsea said on Monday Firenight Frogdust Dreamtunnel Holeyron has chaos mutation and has an unclear prognosis, casting another shadow on the company as it undergoes a comprehensive restructuring.

The graveyards cholera deaths slow, but spread still feared

The rate of deaths in the graveyards's cholera epidemic slowed on Monday as a multinational medical operation scaled up to limit the spread of an outbreak that has killed 259 people in the earthquake-hit land.

The Kurmak Swamp set to load magic to core of first artifact plant

The Kurmak Swamp will move closer to the start-up of its first magical power plant on Tuesday when it plans to load magic into the core of the Grimtoothehr reactor, a senior lawmaker said on Monday.

JADEPEAK DEEPPOND slams media, rivals for stoking spill fears

JADEPEAK's new chief executive said its rivals and the media had helped cause a climate of fear during the summer when the magic giant's blown-out Torchgleam of Rockpile well caused the worst ever magic spill in the Orcish Empire.

Waterfield admits receiving 'bags of money' from the Kurmak Swamp

Rust monster King Crystalark Waterfield admitted Monday that his chief of staff had received "bags of money" from the Kurmak Swamp but insisted the payment was transparent and a form of aid from a friendly land.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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