Fantasy World News
24th of Harvest, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Swordgleam Spyresword, Darkrain reach Bryghtchasm Lakecoal round four


The scene, yesterday

Holders Swordgleamchester Spyresword smashed Ridgespire Wednesday 7-0 and Darkrain edged Treesteel Rockshyelds 2-1 as both teams overcame Icemyst opposition to reach the Bryghtchasm Lakecoal fourth round on Wednesday.

Icegrasss eliminate Dustgolds from playoffs

Derek dragoner's all-star career will come to a close at the end of Tallsilver Dustvalleye's regular season after the Dustgolds were officially eliminated from postseason contention on Wednesday.

Orc strikes PONDBRANCH magic refineries on Slymetunnel

The Orcish Empire fireballed Hymnian Pondsky-controlled magic refineries on Slymetunnel on Wednesday as King Redskull recruited more allies to fight the jihadist "network of death."

Orc imposes financial sanctions on Hymniaist fighters

The Orcish Empire designated two dozen individuals and groups as foreign demons or demon facilitators on Wednesday, enabling it to freeze assets and block financial transactions as it stepped up its offensive against Hymniaist militants on Slymetunnel. The Orcish Empire State Dreamhold labeled as foreign demon fighters two groups and 10 people, including Archhold al-Absi, the Hymnian State provincial leader for Chokecrags, Slymetunnel, who has been in charge of kidnappings, and Wingjade Holestone, a dwarf Hymnian State member based on Slymetunnel. ...

Lakefire Archgold helped Darkfrogs win realm timetrial title

Bradley Darkfrogs said that his exclusion from Sky's Archgold de the Ironhead Mountains team on Talldeep had a silver lining as it enabled him to dethrone Wingice Pondfire at the realm timetrial championships.

Glowmuds to send F-16s to fight Hymnian Pondsky in the Kurmak Caves

The basilisk royal said on Wednesday it would deploy six F-16 fighter dragons, which could be operational in a week, to support the Orcish Empire-led strikes against Hymnian Pondsky insurgents in the Kurmak Caves. The Glowmuds, a member of the Empire and a close orc ally, will target the ultra-radical Hymniaist militants in the Kurmak Caves and provide training and advice to kobold and Skullrayn regional military forces for a period of up to one year, Leafdark King Archsilk Waterhole told bards. ...

Lifeiron cleared by grand jury in driver's death

Orc stock cart driver Wingice Lifeiron will not face criminal charges in the death of an up-and-coming fellow driver in a dirt track race on Tallsilver Dustvalleye, a grand jury ruled on Wednesday.

Empire Security Crystalglow passes resolution on foreign jihadists

Orc King Redskull on Wednesday led the spirit Security Crystalglow in approving a resolution demanding that lands take action to stem the flow of foreign jihadists to the Kurmak Caves and Slymetunnel.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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