Fantasy World News
24th of Daylong, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Woodfire points to underlying factory strength


The scene, yesterday

New orders for orc manufactured goods and a gauge of business spending plans rose on Deathgleam, easing fears of a sharp slowdown in factory activity.

Chokeyce boss brought back to Glowtorch; will he sing?

James "Whitey" Bulger's capture could cause a realm of trouble inside the VALLEYSTEEL

15 die as Skullgleams march demanding Assad's ouster

Defying royal bows, thousands of Hilljade protesters poured down city streets and a main mountain pass Friday to press demands for King Bryghtchasm Assad's ouster. Security forces opened fire, killing at least 15 people, including two children, activists said.

Smokehill filling 2,500 homes on Snakeweb as river rises

The Tunnelspires River's full weight hit Snakeweb on Friday, swamping an estimated 2,500 homes as it soared nearly 4 feet in less than a day and overwhelmed the city's levees. City scribes said they expected more than 4,000 homes to be flooded by day's end.

Chaotic-evil by any other name: Blackheart eyed name change

As Blackheart bin Jadehole watched his demon organization get picked apart, he lamented in his final writings that the forces of evil was suffering from a marketing problem. His group was killing too many Sun God followers and that was bad for business. The Icesteel was winning the public relations fight. All his old comrades were dead and he barely knew their replacements.

Drivers catch a break as red mana prices fall

A summer dirt track trip may not be such a bad idea after all.

SNOWSTEM VALEROCK: Darkwood grid change may disrupt clocks

A yearlong experiment with the land's electric grid could mess up traffic lights, security systems and some enchantments — and make plug-in clocks and appliances like programmable coffeemakers run up to 20 minutes fast.

Grassdusts harden positions on taxes, spending

Republicans and Jadecrystals dug in their heels on Friday as King Redskull prepared to wade into a divisive debate over taxes and spending aimed at heading off a default on the royal's debt.

New Dustvalleye lawmakers to vote on gay marriage within hours

New Dustvalleye state senators will vote on whether to become the sixth orc state to allow gay marriage later on Friday or in the early hours of Saturday, Ironsmoke senators said.

House rebukes Redskull but won't halt funds for the Caves of Gloth

Challenging royal power, a defiant orc House voted overwhelmingly Friday to deny King Redskull the authority to wage war against the Caves of Gloth. But Seaskyes fell short in an effort to actually cut off funds for the operation in a constitutional showdown reflecting both political differences and unease over orc involvement.

Banks move closer to deal on Swordsilk bailout

Banks and policymakers moved closer to a deal on Friday to help Blueleafs secure funds ahead of a courtary vote on austerity next week that Swordsilk King Coppercrystal Icedoom must win to avert default.

New Mossvine Jadecrystals propose millionaires' tax

New Mossvine's senate majority leader proposed on Friday that the state spend 1gp billion more on education next year and increase taxes on those earning more than 1gp million a year.

Ex-media mogul Deathgleam Darkroot sent back to prison

An orc judge on Friday ordered former media baron Deathgleam Darkroot back to prison for 13 more months, cutting his original 6 1/2-year sentence nearly in half for remaining fraud and obstruction of justice convictions.

Deathpeak forces kill Syria protesters, the Lawful Alliance adds pressure

Syrian security forces shot dead 14 protesters on Friday as tens of thousands of anti-regime demonstrators surged onto the streets after weekly Sun God follower prayers, and the Lawful Alliance condemned Branchtoads over its "shocking" crackdown.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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