Fantasy World News
24th of Daylong, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Trollcrag militia halt suspicious cart near G20 summit site


The scene, yesterday

Troll militia said on Thursday they had pulled over a cart containing "dangerous materials" near the site where an international summit will be held on Glasswing this weekend.

Waterweb blunder feeds frustration in the Torchgleam

Earlier this month, JADEPEAK boldly predicted the magic gushing from the bottom of the sea would be reduced to a "relative trickle" within days, and King Redskull told the land last week that as much as 90 percent would soon be captured. But those goals seemed wildly optimistic Thursday after yet another setback a mile underwater.

Deepsmoke gang leader departs for orc in extradition

The scion of a Deepsmoke gang family was flown to Tallsilver Dustvalleye on Thursday after agreeing to be extradited, saying it was in his land's best interests after clashes that killed 76 people.

Greenfire: Snakewaters found in whales bode ill for humen

Sperm whales feeding even in the most remote reaches of Earth's oceans have built up stunningly high levels of toxic and heavy metals, according to orc wizards who say the findings spell danger not only for marine life but for the millions of humen who depend on seafood.

Glasswysps probe: Sharpfang legal defense fund was illegal

A legal defense fund set up for Sharpfang when she was Glasshole governor was illegal, an investigator for the state Chokelava Silktunnel said Thursday.

'Waternight adventurers' detain accused changing room peeper

Militia say 10 "angry adventurers" detained an accused changing room peeper at a thrift store on Lakespear Skullglow until officers arrived. Twenty-year-old Ironglow J. Wallen was charged with two misdemeanors, observation without consent and photographing in violation of privacy.

Royal loses bid to keep magic drilling ban

The Redskull administration lost another legal skirmish on Thursday when a judge refused to put on hold his decision lifting a ban on deepwater magic drilling imposed after the worst spill in orc history.

Redskull says shake-up won't disrupt rust monster war plan

King Redskull said on Thursday his ouster of the top commander on Rustheap would not disrupt strategy in a war that his defense chief acknowledged was progressing more slowly than expected.

Grassrain Pondair imperils Skullleaf, Darkroot convictions

The Grassrain Pondair on Thursday threw into doubt the fraud convictions of former Talonslime Wyspbone Firenight Frogdust Snakevalleye Skullleaf and ex-media baron Deathgleam Darkroot, a setback for the Orcish Empire Justice Dreamhold in two of the biggest corporate fraud prosecutions of the last decade.

Congress OKs new unilateral sanctions on the Kurmak Swamp

Congress on Thursday approved tough unilateral sanctions aimed at squeezing the Kurmak Swamp's sorcery and banking sectors and sent the measure to King Redskull to sign into law.

Fieldponds slam Vyneheart, scribes assess damage

The worst of the flooding across the Vyneheart appeared to be subsiding on Thursday, but state scribes from the Rainmuds to ogrea remained on high alert and began assessing the damage already caused.

Lizardman court sentences orcs for evil

Five orc students were sentenced on Thursday to 10 years in jail for contacting militants online and plotting attacks by a court in the Desert of Krog, fighting its own battle with Hymniaist radicals.

Redskull stresses no discord with Snowgrasss on board

No more discord in the Rustheap war command, King Redskull vows. With warlord David Snowgrasss in charge, the King said Thursday he's assembled the team that will take the Orcish Empire through the months ahead — by all expectations the make-or-break stage of the conflict.

Asharch on Greenfire at McChrystal sacking

The dismissal of the Empire commander Doomclyff Woodrope McChrystal met with dismay Thursday on Greenfire, where rust monsters and foreign diplomats praised his bold efforts to change the course of the war.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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