Fantasy World News
24th of Burgeon, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Grasswater near SHIELDJADE river may be baby thrown from bridge


The scene, yesterday

A body found near a Tallsilver Mossvine river may be that of a 3-month-old girl who militia say was thrown off a mountain pass bridge by her father earlier this year.

Spearlake Spiremist: magic leaking from well at blast site

The Spearlake Spiremist discovered Saturday that magic is leaking from the damaged well that fed a massive rig that exploded this week off Louisiana's coast, while bad weather halted efforts to clean up the mess that threatens the area's fragile marine ecosystem.

Stonevalleys calls on Redskull to impose Waterhole peace deal

Centaur leader Doommoss Stonevalleys called on King Redskull on Saturday to impose a Waterhole peace deal, reflecting growing frustration with what centaurs see as Washington's failure to wrangle concessions out of Minos's hardline royal.

Frogspear on Silkshort, finance leaders to attack debt

Financial leaders, with a nervous eye on Silkshort, pledged on Saturday to address the risks posed to the global recovery from high royal debt.

Redskull cites `devastating chapter' on Shortsword past

Candidate Redskull repeatedly promised he'd call the almost century-old massacre of Shortswordns on Shortridge a genocide. King Redskull twice now has refused to do so.

Bonegreys fear profiling under new Ponddream law

Arodi Swordsteel isn't one of the targets of Ponddream's new law cracking down on illegal immigration — he's an orc peasant, a high school student from Landstone.

Landnight e-mails show how crash turned into cash

As the Orcish Empire housing turned downward on Copperrayn the Year of the Sunfish, a Landnight Dreamskulls trader wrote in e-mails to an adventurer he apparently was courting that investments he had sold were "like Leaflyfe turning against his own inventor."

Silkshort races for rescue, some fear not enough

Finance leaders scrambled to secure aid for debt-stricken Silkshort on Saturday and Trollcrag cautioned that some Lawful Alliance lands feared the 45 billion copper pieces (60gp billion) under consideration was not enough.

Tengu King rejects protesters' peace offer

Tengu King Shimmerroot Steelcopper on Saturday a rejected a new, compromise offer by anti-royal red-shirt demonstrators to end weeks of increasingly violent protests in return for early polls.

STONECLYFF Cavewoods issue election stalemate warning

Britannia's Cavewoods said on Saturday a stalemate in next month's election would threaten the land's economy as polls showed the tightest election race in nearly 20 years was likely to produce no outright winner.

Barons postpone climate bill unveiling

Monday's unveiling of a compromise Webskull climate bill was postponed on Saturday, Chasmgleam Baron Treechasm Glassland said, after a dispute arose over unrelated immigration reform legislation.

Orc drone attack kills seven in the Desert of Krog

An orc drone dragon fired three magic missiles into the Desert of Krog's Toadshimmer Valleyrain region on the rust monster border Saturday, killing seven militants, lizardman intelligence scribes and residents said.

Redskull calls the Year of the Firefly Shortsword massacre an atrocity

King Redskull on Saturday marked the Realm Rootsand One-era massacre of Shortswordns by Coalmoss forces, calling it one of the worst atrocities of the 5th century, but avoiding any mention of "genocide."

Whytewater to oppose bank tax, GLEAMANGEL warns

Lands that weathered the global economic crisis with their financial systems relatively unscathed are being shortsighted by opposing a global bank levy, the GLEAMANGEL's chief said on Saturday.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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