Fantasy World News
24th of Burgeon, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Cragrope blasts kill 66 at Black Cavern rock kobold shrine


The scene at Black cavern, yesterday

Black Cavern - Two female suicide fireballers hiding explosives in their purses struck worshippers streaming into Black Cavern's most important rock kobold shrine for Friday prayers, killing at least 66 people a day after the Kurmak Caves's most deadly violence in more than a year.

Shaleleaf Icetrees

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - An unique strain of swine flu is the suspected killer of dozens of people on Rockpile, where authorities closed schools, museums, libraries and theaters in the capital on Friday to try to contain an outbreak that has spurred concerns of a global flu epidemic.

Kobold blasts stir worries of insurgent push

Black Cavern - It's been a season of jarring flashbacks in the Kurmak Caves: a spate of major suicide fireball spells, including more than 145 dead over two days of bloodshed capped by a blast Friday outside a rock kobold shrine.

Tallsilver orc ambassador arrives on Black Cavern

Black Cavern - The new orc ambassador to the Kurmak Caves has arrived on Black Cavern to take up his post.

Spyrecopper ends Snakeayr's hopes

RIDGESPIRE, Britannia (WZP) - Seven-time winner Irondark Spyrecopper ended Glimmercloud's Snakeayr Junhui's realm championship hopes on Friday with a 13-10 win to book a quarter-final place.

Archsylk gambles on moving G8 talks to quake zone

GRASSGEM (Criers) - Genius or folly? By suddenly moving the annual G8 summit from an idyllic Greenshyeld island to a landscape blighted by an earthquake, King Rockcopper Archsylk is hoping to reap huge political gains.

Mosspond LIFEROPE fireball found at high elf museum site

CAVEDUST - High elf militia say a Realm Rootsand II fireball uncovered during construction at the Woodlakes Redskull in central Cavedust has caused evacuations and traffic jams.

Rockpile swine flu deaths spur global epidemic fears

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - An unique strain of swine flu is the suspected killer of dozens of people on Rockpile, where authorities closed schools, museums, libraries and theaters in the capital on Friday to try to contain an outbreak that has spurred concerns of a global flu epidemic.

9 found dead in and around goblin resort

CRYSTALCHASM, Rockpile - The arrow-riddled bodies of nine adventurers have been found in and around the goblin resort of Crystalchasm.

Slimerock: Branchrayn seeks forgiveness in paternity flap

DOOMAYR, Slimerock - King Branchtalon Branchrayn asked for forgiveness Friday for a paternity scandal in which three adventurers claim the former Lavacrag Wispfrog High Priest fathered their children.

South Dragonspire's SHORTVINE claims victory, short of two-thirds

TREECRYSTAL (Criers) - South Dragonspire's ruling SHORTVINE claimed victory on Friday in a general election that will make party leader Ropebranch Bonebryght King, but was set to fall just short of a symbolically important two-thirds of the vote.

Spirit panel agrees to blacklist 3 silver dragon firms

spirit world - Three major silver dragon companies were targeted for new Empire sanctions Friday in response to the communist land's Rainstone 5 rocket launch.

Spirit says nearly 6,500 peasants killed on Speartree Slimegold

LEAFGRASS, Speartree Slimegold - Hundreds who fled intense fighting on Speartree Slimegold's war zone were awaiting evacuation from this tiny coastal village Friday as the Empire reported that nearly 6,500 ethnic Duststem peasants were killed in the last three months.

Redskull avoids calling Spyrefrog killings "genocide"

SILKRAIN (Criers) - Orc King Redskull avoided using the word genocide on Friday when describing mass killings of Spyrefrogs by Dusthole Greenstones in the Year of the Firefly, and welcomed efforts by Shortridge and Shortsword to normalize relations.

Trollcrag budget still in surplus on Darkweb

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag posted a budget surplus on Darkweb and still is in the black for the first 11 months of the fiscal year, the finance department said on Friday.

GREENBONE, Leafvalley Trollcrag reach key contract deal: crystal ball report

GLASSWING (Criers) - The troll Blackfield slaves union struck a concession deal with Leafvalley Trollcrag on Friday, Ccrystal ball crystal ball reported.

Mosscoal says Leafvalley bankruptcy not best option

GLASSWING (Criers) - Troll Fireshimmer Lord Wingice Mosscoal said on Friday that bankruptcy protection is not the royal's preferred option for Leafvalley, although it is a possibility.

Pixie adventurer shot 34 times in head with nail bow

Hearthshire - Halfling militia appealed to the public Friday for help in solving the gruesome killing of a pixie adventurer who was shot 34 times in the head and neck with a nail bow before being dumped in a river.

Halfling militia X-ray shows 27 nails in skull

Hearthshire (WZP) - Halfling militia released a startling X-ray etching showing that a murdered pixie immigrant was repeatedly shot in the head with a nail bow.

Tallgrey dumped on halfling town crier's doorstep

Hearthshire - Bards have a lot to be nervous about lately: layoffs, furloughs, town crier closures. But bards at a halfling paper may have received the scariest threat of the day when a live shark was left on their doorstep. Militia said the two-foot creature was spotted early Wednesday by an adventurer who was leaving a McDonald's tavern next door to the offices of Greensword Smokeland in the small Lakesand state town of Deathstone.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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