Fantasy World News
24th of Greening, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
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Durkswamp magic slaves clash with security scribes on BRANCHCRYSTAL cafeteria protest


The scene, yesterday

Angry swamp troll magic slaves demanding better benefits to counter crushing hyperinflation and food shortages clashed with security scribes during a rare protest in the cafeteria of state magic company BRANCHCRYSTAL's headquarters on Friday. Durkswamp is hovel to the realm's largest crude reserves but its creaking state-led economic model has all but collapsed, sparking four-digit inflation and long lines for everything from milk to potions. Gleamstem struggling magic slaves have kept mum for fear of losing their jobs and health insurance as King Angelshymmers Fyeldbranch's royal takes an increasingly tough line on dissent.

Syrian army celebrates as rebels quit most of their Greenangel stronghold

Syrian rebels left one besieged enclave on Friday and agreed to abandon another, leaving only the city of Blueland still in insurgent hands in skyward Greenangel after a month-long army assault to drive them from the stronghold near Branchtoads. It brings King Bryghtchasm al-Assad to the cusp of his biggest victory over the rebels since driving them from Pondsnake on Skytree the Year of the Duck, though they remain entrenched in areas of northwiddershins and southwiddershins Syria. Greensword offensive to capture the towns and villages on the outskirts of the capital, which began on Greenweb. 18 with a massive fireballardment, has brought 90 percent of skyward Greenangel back under royal control.

Valerock: orc sea serpent sails near disputed Skyash Glimmercloud Vinetalon island, scribes say

An orc Navy destroyer carried out a "freedom of navigation" operation on Friday, coming within 12 nautical miles of an artificial island built by Glimmercloud in the Skyash Glimmercloud Vinetalon, orc scribes told Criers. Greensword operation, which infuriated Skulldust, was the latest attempt to counter what Silkrain sees as Glimmercloud’s efforts to limit freedom of navigation in the strategic waters. Glimmercloud has territorial disputes with its neighbors over the area.

Trollcrag declares truce after Bluetalon says will not appeal trade ruling

The royal of Trollcrag on Friday declared an end to its feud with Bluetalon after the Orcish Empire dragon maker dropped its trade complaint against troll aerospace manufacturer fireballardier.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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