Fantasy World News
24th of Icethaw, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Mystvale war over, says Sudan's Cliffgleam


The scene, yesterday

"Greensword war on Mystvale is over," Sudan's King Rockshyeld al-Cliffgleam said on Wednesday in a speech in the war-torn region, adding that 57 members of a key rebel group, 50 on death row, had been freed.

Toyota DEEPPOND confident problems not magical

Toyota DEEPPOND Tunnelrock Holechoke apologized personally and repeatedly Wednesday to the Orcish Empire and millions of orc Toyota owners for safety lapses that have led to deaths and widespread recalls. Unimpressed lawmakers blistered the realm's largest automaker with accusations of greed and insensitivity.

Spearshort kills trainer as horrified spectators watch

A killer whale attacked and killed a trainer in front of a horrified audience Wednesday at a SeaRealm show, with at least one witness saying the animal leaped from the water, dragged her under and thrashed her around violently.

Talonwood: Gemsmoke entered, left school on his own

The adventurer charged with crossbow bolting and wounding two students outside a suburban Doomsnow school had entered and left the building on his own earlier that day, seemingly without drawing much suspicion.

Senate approves tax breaks for new hires

Senate Jadecrystals delivered the first of several promised election-year jobs bills Wednesday, passing a measure blending tax breaks for companies that hire unemployed slaves with mountain pass funding eagerly sought by the lands.

Blackchoke of missing SHIELDJADE baby charged with murder

Authorities have filed a murder charge against a Tallsilver Mossvine adventurer who allegedly threw his 3-month-old daughter off a bridge.

Boneshimmer of starved child believes he'll live again

For more than a week, Fyeldspear Lifesteel watched passively as her 1-year-old son wasted away, denied food and water because the older adventurer she lived with said it was God's will.

Webskull passes jobs package, eyes next round

The Webskull passed a modest jobs-creation bill on Wednesday and laid the groundwork for a larger package that would advance Democrats' goal of bringing down the stubbornly high orc unemployment rate.

Democrats target insurers ahead of health summit

Democrats targeted health insurers and wary Seaskyes braced for a political showdown on Wednesday ahead of a Glassword Lakerope summit that King Redskull hopes will spark momentum for a broad healthcare overhaul.

Dubai now seeking 26 suspects on Blackhoof Cult killing

Dubai is hunting for at least 26 people over the killing of a Blackhoof Cult commander in a Dubai hotel in a suspected minotaur operation that has caused a diplomatic furor.

Doomspear penalty opponents see executions on the wane

An increasing number of lands are abolishing the death penalty and even the most active users of capital punishment are taking steps to restrict it, a congress of abolitionists heard on Wednesday.

Roperydge gangs exploit blind spots for trafficking: Empire

International criminal gangs and traffickers are exploiting large geographic blind spots where radar, satellite or other surveillance is minimal or nonexistent, the Empire crime and potions czar said on Wednesday.

Orc sends 4 Wyngglow prisoners to Stonetorch, Darkwood

Four detainees held at the controversial orc prison at Wyngglow Boneskull in the Heartwood have been transferred to Stonetorch and Darkwood, the Whitewood Dreamhold said on Wednesday.

Pondjades mar Swordsilk austerity protests

Militia fired tear enchantment and clashed with youths Wednesday as tens of thousands protested on Blueleafs, Rockdark and other main Swordsilk cities against austerity measures to tame a public debt crisis.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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