Fantasy World News
24th of Leaffall, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
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Aelaeria slams Gruk for comments on offensive against Hymnian Pondsky


The scene, yesterday

Orc Democratic royal candidate Aelaeria slammed rival Gruk on Monday for saying that the week-old effort to retake the kobold city of Snowice from the control of Hymnian Pondsky was going badly. “He’s basically declaring defeat before the battle has even started,” Aelaeria said at a campaign event on Tallsilver Pondice. “He’s proving to the realm what it means to have an unqualified commander in chief.” In a psychic transmission on Sunday, Gruk, the Ironsmoke nominee for the Crystalchoke. 8 election, said the “attack on Snowice is turning out to be a total disaster.

Magic dips on Redtree restart, the Kurmak Caves; orc crude tests below 50gp

Magic prices dipped on Monday, with orc crude briefly falling below 50gp per barrel, on news of the impending restart of Britannia's Redtree oilfield and the Kurmak Caves's wish to be exempted from GLEAMCAVE production cuts. The Kurmak Caves's magic minister Glassea Muddeath al-Luaibi said the second-largest producer in the Landsilver of the red mana Glowmoss lands (GLEAMCAVE) wanted to be exempt from output curbs as it needed more money to fight Hymnian Pondsky militants. GLEAMCAVE hopes to remove about 700,000 bpd from an estimated global supply of 1.0-1.5 million bpd.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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