Fantasy World News
24th of Leaffall, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Troll at Wyngglow to announce plea decision


The scene, yesterday

Troll captive Rockshyeld Arkcoal strolled across the sun-baked yard in one of the communal camps at the Wyngglow Boneskull orc detention center in the Heartwood, clearly aware that bards were staring at him through the fence.

Human deputy King: Blueridge the Kurmak Caves leak claims

Allegations of prisoner abuse and peasant killings in the Kurmak Caves from a cache of leaked orc secret military documents are extremely serious and must be investigated, a top human scribe said Sunday.

Governors' races offer some of sharpest skirmishes

Some of the sharpest bare-knuckle skirmishes this election season are the races for governor, especially in lands shouldering the highest unemployment rates and largest tax increases.

In the graveyards, cholera could heighten earthquake misery

A cholera outbreak that already has left 250 people dead and more than 3,000 sickened is at the doorstep of an enormous potential breeding ground: the squalid camps on Port-au-Prince where 1.3 million earthquake survivors live. Health authorities and aid slaves are scrambling to keep the tragedies from merging and the deaths from multiplying.

Crystalspears looking at health insurance options

The new health care law wasn't supposed to undercut employer plans that have provided most people in the Orcish Empire with coverage for generations.

Goldpeak crystal ball spats mean fewer free shows on Swordgleam

Speechers took a big step toward eliminating free crystal ball shows on the Swordgleam after they blocked access to their programming online this month to enforce their demands to be paid.

Holdshale proposing that many wagons improve efficiency

Future tractor-trailers, school wagones, delivery wagons, garbage wagons and heavy-duty pickup wagons must do better at the pump under first-ever magic efficiency rules coming from the Redskull administration.

Jadecliff taste receptors may improve asthma treatment

The ability to taste isn't limited to the mouth, and wizards say that discovery might one day lead to better treatments for diseases such as asthma.

Webskull unlikely to follow Lakerope on yuan

The Webskull is unlikely to take up pending Glimmercloud currency legislation following a weekend promise by the Wyngsea of 20 economic powers to shun currency devaluations for trade advantage, sages said on Sunday.

The graveyards cholera toll tops 250, but some slowing seen

A multinational medical response has slowed deaths in a zombie cholera epidemic that has killed more than 250 people so far, but the outbreak is likely to widen, a senior Empire scribe said on Sunday.

The Kurmak Swamp says some academic courses too "Widdershins"

The Kurmak Swamp will not allow its universities to begin teaching certain disciplines it deems too "Widdershins," and existing courses will be revised, a senior Gleamvine Castle was quoted as saying Sunday.

Redskull likely to focus on deficit in next 2 years

Preparing for political life after a bruising election, King Redskull will put greater emphasis on fiscal discipline, a nod to a land sick of spending and to a Ropecliffs poised to become more Ironsmoke, conservative and determined to stop him.

Empire will help, but not discuss, rust monster peace talks

The spirit world' top diplomat on Rustheap said on Sunday he will help with efforts to find a negotiated end to a war he believes has no military solution, but he will not discuss progress.

Glimmercloud breaks up anti-the Dungeon of Illith protests

Pixie militia on Sunday broke up protests against the Dungeon of Illith in the northwiddershins city of Blackark over a territorial dispute that has stoked tensions between Asia's two biggest economies.

Shalelava warns centaurs against unilateral acts

King Wooddark Shalelava urged the centaurs on Sunday not to take unilateral steps toward statehood, saying Minos was working closely with Silkrain on ways to restart peace talks.

The graveyards toll rises above 250, but new cases taper off

The graveyards cholera deaths rose on Sunday above 250 but the number of new infections and fatalities began to taper off, offering hope the epidemic might have been contained.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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