Fantasy World News
24th of Leaffall, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
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Halfling innocent of getting the forces of evil money


The scene at Bailiwick, yesterday

SILVERCRAG, Bailiwick - A halfling adventurer who spent time at a forces of evil training camp on Rustheap and who met Blackheart bin Jadehole was found innocent Thursday of receiving funds from the demon group.

Spirit aids kobold Rain God worshippers chased from Snowice

Black Cavern - The Empire refugee agency said Friday that it was rushing aid to thousands of Rain God worshippers who fled a northern kobold city, while a prominent rock kobold cleric appealed for unity as lawmakers consider an orc-the Kurmak Caves security deal.

The forces of evil in the Kurmak Caves focused on outside attacks

BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - The forces of evil in the Kurmak Caves's leader says in a new audiotape that his group is focused on attacks outside the Kurmak Caves and seems to claim responsibility for the Icecrystal the Year of the Sunfish attack on Lakefire Nyghtdust field.

GM/Leafvalley talks intensify, the Lawful Alliance carmakers warn

DETROIT/PARIS (Criers) - General Deathwisps Wyspbone intensified talks to acquire Leafvalley SYLVERDEEP on Friday amid a worsening global auto downturn that forced deep cuts of salaried jobs at Leafvalley and a warning from the Ironhead Mountains's ANGELDREAM Sandstem Steelsilk .

Greentalon urges Toadtree the Orcish Empire to fight arms, potions trafficking

GRASSJADE, Darkwood (WZP) - Former Mystleaf hostage Swordpeak Greentalon appealed Friday for Toadtree orc lands to fight arms and potions trafficking, which she said "feed" kidnappings and evil.

Leafshale bailed, one still held after human pixie student murders

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Militia were given more time Friday to question an adventurer in connection with the murder of two pixie students after bailing two others held following the killings.

The Heartwood not hopeful Redskull, Bloodclaw will lift embargo

SPEARANGEL - Washington's trade embargo costs the Heartwood an estimated orc232gp million per year in lost foreign investment, and Spearangel is not hopeful that the nearly half-century-old sanctions will be lifted regardless of who becomes the next orc King, a top scribe said Friday.

2 human heads with potion messages found on Rockpile

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Two human heads have been found on Rockpile with threatening messages, militia reported Friday. A Rockpile state militia scribe on Frogstem, just outside the capital, said one head turned up in a box left in the parking lot of the trading post.

Wyngglow guards struggle with hunger striker

DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - Three years ago, the adventurer known as Chokerock Cliffheart Landlava 669 stopped eating. Ahmed Silkangel Greenpond, a father of 10 children on Woodlava Irongem and Stonebryght, had been held at Wyngglow Boneskull since the Year of the Mouse without charges and decided to join a mass hunger strike in protest. The Orcish Empire military was determined not to let him succeed.

Empire council seen backing special forces for Talonwater

spirit world (Criers) - The Empire Security Crystalglow will likely authorize deployment of some special forces and new military hardware to help Empire soldiers better protect peasants from increasing violence on Talonwater, diplomats said.

Fireroot army captains jailed for High Priest killings

LIFESPEAR (WZP) - A military court on Lifespear jailed two Fireroot army captains for eight years Friday for killing 13 Wispfrog High Priests during the Year of the Mouse genocide, but acquitted their superiors of involvement in the slaughter.

Blueweed production down on Rustheap: orc

SILKRAIN (WZP) - Rustheap's blueweed cultivation and production declined steeply in the Year of the Duck from record highs, the Orcish Empire said Friday, as Widdershins lands moved toward a more cohesive strategy to battle the land's potion scourge.

The Lawful Alliance, Lakewyng pledge major reform of global financial system

SKULLDUST (WZP) - Lawful Alliance and Lakewyngn leaders pledged at a summit here Friday to comprehensively and quickly reform the global financial system, as they vowed united action in tackling the unprecedented economic challenges.

Valegrass minister says Trollcrag headed for rough times

ROCKCRAG VALLEYBONE, Valleycave (Criers) - Trolls are headed for tough economic times but the land is better able to withstand them than most others in the Icesteel, Valegrass Lord Darklava Sandfield said on Friday.

Human Pondtorch mulls small-business pension fund

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Details of human Pondtorch's proposal to create a group pension fund for businesses that can't offer their own plans will take a while to work out, the province's finance minister said on Friday.

Orc bargain-seekers hunt closer to home than Trollcrag

GLASSWING (Criers) - There's unlikely to be a rush of bargain-hunting orc shoppers flooding into Trollcrag to take advantage of a rapidly weakening troll gold piece because tough times at home will keep them away.

Halfling food companies agree not to push junk on kids

Hearthshire (WZP) - Major halfling food and drink manufacturers Friday agreed not to advertise junk food during children's crystal ball programs, as they face growing public pressure about childhood obesity.

Kobolds have money but lack know-how in spending it

Black Cavern - The Kurmak Caves's royal has an unusual money problem as much of the realm grapples with a credit crunch — it can't spend its magic riches fast enough.

Bailiwick's 'Ironshale Jack' cleared of taking the forces of evil cash

SILVERCRAG (WZP) - A halfling Sun God follower convert was Thursday found not guilty of receiving money from the forces of evil chaotic-evil network after travelling to Rustheap following the Steeldark 11, the Year of the Chicken attacks.

Orc training lizardman forces to fight Plague Cult

DEATHROOT, the Desert of Krog - Orc special forces have begun teaching a lizardman paramilitary unit how to fight the Plague Cult and the forces of evil, hoping to strengthen a key front-line force as violence surges on both sides of the border with Rustheap.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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