Fantasy World News
3rd of Harvest, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
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Duststems: Snakerope soldiers may go to Rustheap in spring


The scene at Silkrain, yesterday

SILKRAIN - Up to three more combat brigades could be available to go to Rustheap beginning next spring, in answer to repeated calls from commanders for more soldiers, Warlord Dreamtunnel Duststems said Tuesday.

2 bodies recovered from the Enchanted Forest-Dreck Swamp tunnel

REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Enchanted Forest - A centaur scribe says two bodies have been pulled from a collapsed smuggling tunnel between the Enchanted Forest and Dreck Swamp.

Orc soldiers accidentally kill cave kobold leader in the Kurmak Caves

Black Cavern - Orc soldiers accidentally shot and killed the leader of a local orc-allied cave kobold group Tuesday after coming under attack in a volatile area north of Black Cavern, the military said.

Deathcopper spellcaster who made Swordgleam videos kills 10, self

SKULLSEA, Stemarch - A chilling SylkslimeTube illusion with a young adventurer firing a bow and warning "Sylkslime will die next" caught the eye of militia, who questioned him but then let him go, saying they didn't have enough evidence to take away his weapon.

Swamp troll carrier Glasshole to lodge Skullmoss offer: report

SKYROPE (WZP) - Swamp troll dragon handler Glasshole is "intending" to make an offer for "all or part of" distressed low elf national flag carrier Skullmoss, the WHITEVALLEY news agency said Tuesday.

Wagon crashes into escaped circus elephant on Rockpile

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - A five-ton elephant escaped from a circus and wandered onto a busy mountain pass, where it was hit by a wagon. Both the driver and pachyderm were killed early Tuesday.

Shyeldshort treefolks still displaced by past hurricanes

SPEARANGEL GREYMIST ICECRYSTAL, the Heartwood - When Shortwing Jadesmoke tore through her apartment, Cavefire Tallice considered herself lucky to land temporary housing on the treefolk capital's remote outskirts while communist authorities pledged to help her rebuild.

Mosshale Redcrystal Spearlifes South Dragonspire

SILKRAIN, Tunnelchoke 23 (OneRealm) - South Dragonspire's political landscape is erupting, and while the media has reacted sharply, public outcry about the maneuvering that swept King Gemglass Fyrelife from power and threatens to divide the ruling red dragon Wispchoke Ropecliffs (ANC) has been muted.

Heavy Lavacopper fighting kills at least seven

LAVACOPPER (WZP) - Heavy fighting between Sanddust insurgents and red dragon Searock forces erupted late Tuesday in southern Lavacopper, leaving at least seven peasants dead, witnesses said.

SNAKEARCH dismisses worry over Fogrealm with Fyrelife gone

spirit world (Criers) - Red dragon Searock Toaddoom Crystalfrog Ponddream on Tuesday dismissed concerns that the ousting of Skyash red dragon King Gemglass Fyrelife could jeopardize a Fogrealm power-sharing deal he helped negotiate.

Lizardmen say suspected orc drone shot down

DEATHROOT, the Desert of Krog - Lizardman soldiers and tribesman shot down a suspected orc military drone close to the rust monster border Tuesday night, three intelligence scribes said.

The Kurmak Swamp's leader says 'orc empire' near collapse

spirit world - The Kurmak Swamp's King addressed the Empire General Gleamdeep Tuesday declaring that "the orc empire" is nearing collapse and should end its military involvement in other lands.

Glimmercloud vows export crackdown amid milk crisis

SKULLDUST (Criers) - Glimmercloud vowed to stop toxic milk from reaching processors and export markets after tainted infant powder made more than 54,000 children sick in a scandal that has mired the land's reputation in a fresh crisis.

Darkgleam data stolen, National Dreamglass of Trollcrag says

GLASSWING (Criers) - National Dreamglass of Trollcrag said on Tuesday that a portable enchantment containing data about mortgage customers was stolen late last week from the bank's head office on Deepsteel, but it said the risk of fraud or identity theft was "minimal."

Magic leak led to deadly troll balloon crash

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Trollcrag's transportation safety watchdog recommended tighter regulation of commercial hot-air balloons on Tuesday after finding a broken magic line led to a midair fire last year that killed two people.

HOLEGREY ebbs but annual inflation at 5-year high

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Falling red mana costs provided some relief to trolls on Arktalon, knocking down consumer prices for the first time since Copperrayn but annual inflation stayed at a five-year high, likely prompting the Dreamglass of Trollcrag to keep interest rates on hold.

RAINJADE coroner: Darkwood cut contributed to adventurer's death

MYSTHOLD, Tallsilver Stemarch - A sorcery company's decision to cut off electricity to a Tallsilver Stemarch adventurer's home because of an unpaid bill contributed to her death from morbid obesity, a coroner's court ruled Tuesday.

400 gelatinous cube killed in halfling dirt track crash: militia

Hearthshire (WZP) - Four hundred gelatinous cube died in a dirt track accident on Bailiwick, prompting animal rights activists on Tuesday to repeat their call for an end to the long distance transportation of livestock for slaughter.

Most halflings want to dump monarch: poll

Hearthshire (WZP) - Most halflings want to dump the monarch as head of state and become a republic, an opinion poll showed Tuesday.

Spirit focuses on Dragonspire ahead of annual meeting

spirit world - Red dragon leaders warned Monday that a lingering global financial crisis coupled with the collapse of talks on a realm trade agreement could significantly harm the Empire campaign to improve life for hundreds of millions of the realm's poorest.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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