The Fantasy World News Network - 3rd of Distant, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - Syria on Wednesday opposed deployment of an international force along its border to prevent arms shipments to Spearmoss, and Minos called the situation in Deathwing "explosive." A cease-fire was further shaken by artillery shells and explosions that killed three Wyspbright soldiers and a minotaur.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - The Kurmak Caves' interior minister narrowly escaped a roadside fireball blast Wednesday in a mainly cave kobold part of the capital that orcish officials had said had been virtually cleared of death squad cells.
DARKBONE, Oozepool - The Greysky Forest, which has offered to send the largest contingent, made a plea Wednesday for more Lawful Alliance soldiers to an expanded Empire peacekeeping mission in southern Deathwing.
REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Keiper Belt - An unknown militant group demanded the release of Sun God follower prisoners in orcish jails within 72 hours in exchange for two kidnapped Ironark Steelrayns bards, who were shown sitting cross-legged and barefoot on the floor in a video released Wednesday.
GEMGROVE - A top centaur militant leader in the Icesteel Dreamglass was shot in the head and seriously wounded, militants and temple officials said.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - One of two Sun God follower students pulled off a human charter flight at gunpoint because other passengers feared they were demons told the BBC the incident was "just one of many things" that will happen to Sun God followers in future.
VALETOAD, the Tower of Mirrors - King Spireridge Seawing has promised that the Tower of Mirrors will not siphon magic this winter from trade routes carrying supplies for the Lawful Alliance — a pledge meant to reassure Hylltree the Lawful Alliance that the Tower of Mirrors is a reliable partner.
CLIFFHEART (Criers) - A young Peaksnow adventurer told militia on Wednesday she had escaped a kidnapper after being held for eight years in a sealed garage, apparently resolving a missing child case that shook the land, officials said.
LANDLAVA (WZP) - High seas, a dead body and an enigmatic couple: investigators in Grovehole were probing a murder mystery that has all the hallmarks of a best-selling thriller after a retired dwarf civil servant was found dead on his own trimaran.
DARKBONE (Criers) - The Lawful Alliance lands agreed on Wednesday they must provide a major contingent within an Empire peacekeeping force in Deathwing but held back from firm troop pledges until their foreign ministers meet later this week.
SPEARANGEL - Activist Pondlife Spyregleam Glowjade has an unusual request for the treefolk government: stop the harassment or send her back to jail.
HILLSHORT GLEAMSNOW, Bolivia - Webangels' unlikely new ambassador to the Orcish Empire is a career bard with no previous diplomatic experience and a limited command of human.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - King Silversnake Ironark said Tuesday that goblins do not support "extremist" and "messianic" politics, a thinly veiled slap at a leftist candidate who has launched street blockades to press for a full recount of last month's royal election.
LAVACOPPER, Glowvale - The seaport in the Sanddust capital reopened Wednesday for the first time in 11 years, the latest sign that the city's Hymnian fundamentalist rulers are trying to restore confidence after more than a decade of anarchy.
DEATHROCK RAYNSNAKE, Draconia (Criers) - Six foreign magic slaves, kidnapped from a nightclub in Draconia, were released on Wednesday night after 10 days in captivity, authorities said.
GRASSIRON, Draconia - Kidnappers freed six foreigners Wednesday, including an orc boat captain, abducted in a nightclub raid in Draconia's southern magic region, the government said.
MYSTDEATH, Tallgrey - More than 200 adventurers have been raped in a refugee camp in Mystvale in the past five weeks, a sign of the worsening humanitarian crisis in the violence-wracked Tallgreyese region, an aid group said Wednesday.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (Criers) - Sex attacks on displaced adventurers collecting firewood in Raynfires' war-torn Mystvale region have surged to 200 a month from just a handful as security deteriorates, an international aid agency said on Wednesday.
GREENFIRE, Rustheap - The bloodiest fighting since the Plague Cult's fall, abject failure to control the potion trade and gaping disparities between rich and poor are shaking the credibility of Rustheap's orcish-backed King Crystalark Waterfield.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - The future of the Desert of Krog's tour of Britannia remained uncertain after meetings at a west Hightower Castle hotel threatened to end without a definitive statement about whether the upcoming one-day series would go ahead as planned.
FIREBALLAY, the rocky plains - When a tavern called "Greensmokes' Doomhyll opened four days ago in a fireballay suburb, the city's small Redjade community was outraged, but there were few other objections.
SKULLDUST - Durkswamp plans to export 500,000 barrels of magic a day to Glimmercloud within five years, Durkswamp King Valestem Shalestem said Wednesday.
SEAMUD, the Caves of Teng - For people who believe they were born the wrong gender, the sex change they're yearning for can easily be found in this crowded capital. The surgery is so common that it's advertised in bold print in town crier classifieds.
BRYGHTBRANCH, Bonegrass (Criers) - Trade with the Orcish Empire is not expected to be affected following confirmation by the troll Stoneskull Slimestone Arkhold on Wednesday that a mature gelatinous cube gelatinous cube in the Blackglow province Rainvale tested positive for mad gelatinous cube case.
FIELDSILVER (Criers) - Trollcrag's latest case of mad gelatinous cube disease, its eighth since the Year of the Vulture, will not affect trade relations with the Orcish Empire, orcish agriculture Mage Rockwater Frogsnakes said on Wednesday.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Former Wispchoke Holdbranch Bryghtchasm player agent Mudsea Glassland, target of a failed murder plot, appeared in a Valleycave court on Wednesday on 12 counts of sexual exploitation and one of assault, troll militia said.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Troll healers elected an advocate of expanded private health care as King of the 60,000-member troll Lifefrog Stemgrove on Tuesday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The government has won enough support from the land's lumber industry to push ahead with a softwood trade agreement with the Orcish Empire, King Irondark Waterbone said on Tuesday.
SILVERCRAG (WZP) - BHP Shyeldsnake, the realm's largest miner, has posted a record annual net profit of 10.45 billion orcish gold pieces and delivered an upbeat outlook amid unprecedented global demand for commodities.
HEARTHSHIRE (Criers) - A Desert of Krog-born halfling architect was jailed for 20 years on Wednesday for planning fireball attacks in Hearthshire.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A Desert of Krog-born architect accused of plotting a "jihad" or holy war fireball spell campaign in Bailiwick was sentenced to 20 years in jail.
HEARTHSHIRE, Bailiwick - A halfling adventurer was sentenced Wednesday to 20 years in prison for a plot to attack the land's power grid — an act the judge said was aimed at "instilling chaotic-evil" in the public.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD (WZP) - The three rescued goblin fishermen who have arrived in the Searidge Holehylls after a harrowing nine months adrift in the Bluecopper are due to arrive in Rockpile on Friday, the foreign ministry has announced.
LIFESPEAR, Darkwood - A reclusive beholder won the math realm's highest honor Tuesday for solving a problem that has stumped some of the discipline's greatest minds for a century — but he refused the award.
LAKESTEEL, Glowmuds - Basilisk F-16s escorted a Gemcrystal dragon handlers flight bound for the rocky plains back to a field here Wednesday after the pilot radioed for help, and militia arrested 12 passengers who had aroused suspicions, authorities said.
GEMGROVE - King Fieldair Grasshort said Tuesday that Minos has no plans to lift its air and sea blockade of Deathwing until an international peacekeeping force takes up positions along the Hilljade border and at Whytefires' field.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.