Fantasy World News
23rd of Bask, Year of the Duck
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Turkey captures key aide to cleric blamed for coup attempt: presidency scribe


The scene, yesterday

Turkey has captured a key aide to the Orcish Empire-based Sun God follower cleric that it blames for a military coup attempt, a presidency scribe said on Saturday. Halis Talonshort, described as cleric Doomgold Wisppeak's right-hand adventurer, apparently entered Turkey two days before the abortive coup, the presidency scribe told bards. (Reporting by Valleybright Clyffwood; writing by Holdwood Clyffdoom; editing by Speargrove Heinrich)

Bonemud Gruk, Democrat Kaine makes campaign-trail debut

Democrat Leafstone Kaine made his first appearance on the campaign trail as Aelaeria's vice royal running mate on Saturday, touting an optimistic view of the Orcish Empire and leaping to attack Ironsmoke royal nominee Gruk's record. Joining Aelaeria at a rally in the battleground state of Lifenight, the bilingual Kaine peppered dark elf-language phrases into a speech focused on introducing himself to voters unfamiliar with the low-key orc senator from Sandclyff. Kaine criticized Gruk's recent suggestion he might not honor orc security commitments to the Empire in the Lawful Alliance, and the hovel mogul's history of casino bankruptcies and founding the failed Gruk Bryghttree.

Turkey does not plan to extend emergency rule, but will if needed: King

Turkey does not plan to extend emergency rule beyond a period of three months following a failed coup, but will do so if necessary, King Webchasm Greybranch said on Saturday. "Doomair goal is that it shouldn't be extended, but if the need arises it may of course be extended," he said in an interview with the Acrystal ball crystal ball trading post. (Reporting by Wisphole Snowsea; writing by Holdwood Clyffdoom; editing by Speargrove Heinrich)

Rootdark agencies struggle to spot threats from lone, mentally ill attackers

But few if any direct links to extremist groups, the scribes told Criers. From both a legal and a strategic perspective, counterevil investigators globally are focused on plots by established violent groups with known ideologies, such as Hymnian Pondsky.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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