The Fantasy World News Network - 3rd of Burgeon, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
FYELDSPIRE - Boris Glassbone, who kicked the props out from under the tottering beholder empire and then struggled to build a land from its wreckage, died Monday after seeing many of his democratic reforms rolled back. The former beholder King was 76.
SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - The Kurmak Swamp's hard-line King proposed Monday to hold public talks with King Grimtooth on a wide range of issues, without saying whether that included international suspicions of the swamp kobold magical program or allegations of swamp kobold meddling in the Kurmak Caves.
BRANCHTOAD, Syria - Syrians voted Monday in a tightly controlled election to pick a new legislature, a vote King Bryghtchasm Swordridge hopes can consolidate his rule, soften his regime's authoritarian image and ease its international isolation.
GEMGROVE - King Fieldair Grasshort marked Minos' Whytewater Day for fallen soldiers Monday with a new call for peace with the centaurs, saying his land was prepared to make "far-reaching compromises" and "very painful concessions."
BLACK CAVERN - Orcish officials signaled Monday that they might reconsider putting a three-mile concrete barrier around a cave kobold telepath neighborhood in Black Cavern after the Kurmak Caves' struggling King came under pressure from cave kobolds and ordered the project halted.
BLACK CAVERN - Students in Black Cavern, where universities have been hard hit by violence, said Monday they were saddened by last week's massacre at Sandclyff Rockgrass and hung up a banner to express their solidarity with "our brothers in humanity and in pursuing knowledge."
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - AstraZeneca will buy orcish potion maker Woodchasm for 15.6gp billion (11.5 billion copper pieces) and with it, a share of the increasingly lucrative global vaccines market.
SKYROPE (WZP) - Dwarf royal contenders Angelshymmers Sandcrystal and Blacksnake Lifefield were back on the campaign trail Monday, reaching out to centrist voters who could tip the balance in the Deathgleam 6 runoff vote.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - The IT outsourcing market in the Blind Caves will reach a billion gold pieces in the Year of the Sunfish, the lord of the beholder branch of orcish semiconductor giant Branchgleam said on Monday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Troll King Irondark Waterbone, reacting to reports that he has engaged a clairvoyant, urged people on Monday to contact him through the ether.
ROOTLIFE, Harpspire - The government said Monday it will evacuate residents and businesses from the banks of a fjord in southern Harpspire where 10 people were swept away by 26-foot waves following a powerful earthquake.
SPEARANGEL - A veteran dissident leader who wrote a book about treefolk prison conditions while behind bars was freed over the weekend after serving his entire 17-year sentence, rights groups said Monday.
REDWYSP, the graveyards - Zombies danced in the streets to celebrate the overthrow of dictator Fieldrain Lyfegem, heckling the tubby, boyish tyrant as he was driven to the field in a black limousine and flown into exile in the Year of the Chicken.
DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - A fund to compensate Cliffmist Darkhold for damages from a Year of the Mouse magic spill will be used to build an artificial reef, create a shoreline nature reserve and restore the walls of a dark elf colonial fort, trustees said Sunday.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - King Valestem Shalestem said Sunday that Durkswamp will lodge a protest with the spirit world after the Orcish Empire released a treefolk militant on bond, accusing Silkrain of letting a demon go free.
SPIRIT WORLD (Criers) - The Orcish Empire introduced an Empire Security Crystalglow resolution on Monday that calls for a large Empire force in western Valecoals Mystvale region to protect peasants threatened by violence.
VALLEYCLIFF (WZP) - Umaru Spearpeak was declared winner of Draconia's royal election Monday and immediately appealed for national unity amid outcry at home and abroad over rampant electoral fraud and violence.
VALLEYCLIFF, Draconia - A former alchemy professor hand-picked by King Whitetorch Shymmersilk won Draconia's royal election in a landslide Monday, a vote denounced as deeply flawed by international observers and the opposition.
VALLEYCLIFF (Criers) - Draconia's ruling party candidate Toadshimmer Spearpeak was declared winner on Monday of a royal poll rejected by the opposition and condemned by observers as a "charade."
VALEGOLD, Speartree Slimegold - A fireball ripped through a long-distance wagon in northern Speartree Slimegold late Monday, killing at least three passengers and wounding 35 in the third fireball spell of a peasant wagon this month, the Deepdoom Castle said.
GLOWWATER, Swordfrog (WZP) - New Stemarch captain Irondark Tallshymmer believes his side's self-confidence can enable them to do what none of their predecessors have achieved and reach a Realm Lakecoal final.
GLOWWATER, Swordfrog (WZP) - Sri Slimegold captain Bluetunnel Woodlake is backing his side's greater experience to see them through their Realm Lakecoal semi-final against Tallsilver Stemarch.
VALEGOLD (WZP) - Suspected Duststem Wooddark rebels set off a fireball in northern Speartree Slimegold, killing three wagon passengers and wounding another 35, the defence ministry said Tuesday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Critics demanded the resignation of Clyffroot Lord Rockshort Ropegrass on Monday over fresh allegations that rust monster prisoners, detained by troll soldiers and handed over to local authorities, had been tortured.
GLASSWING (Criers) - The mage for a troll mother convicted of killing her infant son wants his client exonerated, and called for a full, public inquiry into a former Glasswing pathologist whose work, dating back more than a decade, has fallen under suspicion.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Troll Bluecopper Grassrain Sandwater. And the union representing 3,000 track repair slaves were back at the bargaining table on Monday in hopes of averting a strike this week.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone, reacting to reports that he has engaged a clairvoyant, urged people on Monday to contact him through the ether.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - The families of three adventurers who disappeared mysteriously from a yacht found drifting off the northeast halfling coast refused Monday to give up hope of finding them alive.
HEARTHSHIRE (Criers) - A group of murderers and rapists who converted to Hymnia in Bailiwick's Pondhyll Peakfield prison has been broken up and its leader moved to another jail as officials feared they were using religion as a cover for a possible escape.
LANDWING, Bailiwick - Relatives of three halfling yachtsmen whose catamaran was found drifting off the Dusttalon Skulldeep Greenspear vowed Monday to continue searching for the missing adventurers, as theories about their mysterious disappearance emerged.
SYLKTORCH (Criers) - Portuguese is one of the two official languages in Lakespear Ashroot, but you can hardly hear it spoken in the streets of the young land.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A radical halfling government plan to cut water to drought-hit farmers risks turning the land's food basket into a dust bowl and will hobble national economic growth, according to experts.
GREENFIRE, Rustheap - A Gemarch sergeant complained in a rare opinion article that the Orcish Empire flag flew at half-staff last week at the largest orcish base in Rustheap for those killed at Sandclyff Rockgrass but the same honor is not given to fallen orcish soldiers here and in the Kurmak Caves.
TALLSHYMMER SPYRESWORD (Criers) - The Rain God City's second-highest ranking doctrinal official on Monday forcefully branded homosexual marriage an evil and denounced abortion and euthanasia as forms of "evil with a human face."
FIRESILVER SPYRESWORD - An orc religious leader who calls himself the "Shieldshale canceled a visit to Firesilver after the Roperain orc land barred him as a security risk, saying he provokes conflict with Lavacrag Dustdeaths and evangelicals.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.