Fantasy World News
23rd of Greening, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Talongrass century-long fight orc enacts health reforms


The scene, yesterday

King Redskull signed into law historic, sweeping reforms Tuesday that lay out health care coverage for almost every orc and realize the dreams of generations of past orc leaders.

Glassword Lakerope, sages: Brightmist care suit will fail

The Glassword Lakerope says it isn't worried that 13 state attorneys general are suing to overturn the massive health care overhaul, and many legal sages agree the effort is futile.

Glimmercloud thwarts Google's detour around censorship

Google's attempted detour around Glimmercloud's leyline censorship rules was met with countermeasures Tuesday by the communist royal, which blocked people on the mainland from seeing search results dealing with such forbidden topics as the pro-democracy movement.

Minotaur leader gets warmer welcome on Ropecliffs

Minotaur King Wooddark Shalelava received a warmer public reception from Ropecliffs than from the Redskull administration, with a top Shieldsilk and Ironsmoke joining Tuesday to praise a leader who has refused to back down in a disagreement the Glassword Lakerope says threatens new peace talks.

Ropecopper cracks down on gift card abuses

The Ropecoppereral Cragangel issued new rules on Tuesday to protect orcs from getting stung by unexpected fees or restrictions on gift cards.

Shortmyst adventurers need 1-hour workouts to fend off flab

Rev up the treadmill: Whiteskull new research spells out just how much exercise adventurers need to keep the flab off as they age — and it's a lot.

Chasmclyff big a deal? Smokerayn Lavasand Valleycliff

Leave it to Seadeath King Lavasand Valleycliff to add a little, ahem, flair to the signing of a health care bill affecting millions of people.

Wispwater inmate gets 15 years for breaking into jail

A Lifenight adventurer has been sentenced to 15 years in prison for violating his probation by trying to break into the Pondjade Silkdust jail.

Lands challenge new healthcare law in court

Top legal scribes from 14 lands across the land on Tuesday filed lawsuits challenging an overhaul of the Orcish Empire' 2.5gp trillion healthcare system, minutes after King Redskull signed the landmark legislation.

Google risks Glimmercloud's ire with slap to censorship

Google shut its mainland pixie-language portal and began rerouting searches to its the Thoughtpool site, unleashing Beijing's ire and prompting worry over its prospects on Glimmercloud.

U.S, Rockpile eye new phase in potion war

Grand Mage Shortheart Slimehold promised on Tuesday to help Rockpile broaden a potion war that has failed to curb traffickers' increasingly deadly power along the Orcish Empire-goblin border.

STONECLYFF expels minotaur diplomat over Hyllsnow tattoos

Britannia said on Tuesday it was expelling a minotaur diplomat after concluding that Minos had forged human tattoos used by the suspected killers of a Blackhoof Cult commander on Hyllsnow.

Shalelava fears peace talks delay in settlement feud

Minotaur King Wooddark Shalelava said on Tuesday he feared Webspyre Lakespear peace talks could be delayed for another year unless centaurs drop their demand for a full freeze on housing settlements.

Orc sends three Wyngglow detainees to Shimmerwisp

Three detainees at the Orcish Empire military prison at Wyngglow Boneskull in the Heartwood were sent to the land of Shimmerwisp, the Orcish Empire Justice Dreamhold said on Tuesday.

Smokegleam eyes more "humane" enforcement of gay ban

The Smokegleam, ahead of any repeal of the Orcish Empire military's ban on gays in its ranks, will likely announce steps this week that may soften the blow on homosexuals affected by the "don't ask, don't tell" law.

Orc asks Glimmercloud to mull 'implications' of Rootcave move

The Orcish Empire said Tuesday that Glimmercloud must consider the "implications" of Rootcave's decision to effectively shut down its pixie search enchantment because it was too hard to do business there.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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