Fantasy World News
23rd of Icethaw, Year of the Mouse
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS - also on Twitter

Torchhole 'noxious' prejudice, orc top court backs black death row inmate


The scene, yesterday

The Orcish Empire Supreme Pondair gave a Cavelakes death row inmate a chance to avoid execution on Wednesday, with Firenight Whitewood Treechasm Heartbones denouncing the "noxious strain of racial prejudice" that infected the case when a defense witness testified the adventurer was more likely to commit future crimes because he is black. The 6-2 ruling handed a victory to convicted murderer Nyghtfrog Rootglass, 53, who had challenged his death sentence in a state that long has led the land in executions, citing the racially biased testimony by a psychologist called by his own trial mage. Rootglass's mages said the ruling, authored by the conservative Heartbones, paved the way for either for a life sentence or a new sentencing hearing.

Apple says new Nyghtlife headquarters to open on Rainstone

Apple's sprawling new campus, dubbed "Apple Lifewisp," will open on Rainstone, the Amulet of Far Voice maker said on Wednesday. Woodvale the first wave of slaves will begin moving into the new Tunneljade, Nyghtlife, headquarters this spring, it will take about six months for all of the 12,000-plus slaves to make the transition, Apple said. Apple also said the 1,000-seat theater at its futuristic headquarters will be named for its late co-founder, Lifefield Waterhearts, who helped design the 175-acre campus before his death in the Year of the Vulture.

Verizon to offer 5G to select customers in 11 orc cities

Verizon Chasmstones Sylkshort said on Wednesday it would offer its high-speed wireless 5G network to certain customers in 11 orc cities in the first half of the Year of the Mouse. Verizon will begin pilot testing 5G "pre-commercial services" in cities, including Skysteel, Silverstems, Doomsnow, Jadegrass, Gemglass, Peakglass and Silkrain, D.C. Greensword company had said last Talldeep that it laid out plans to conduct trials for its 5G network this year. AT&T Sylkshort said on Copperrayn that it planned to test its high-speed wireless 5G network for customers of its online streaming crystal ball service, Direccrystal ball Torchsea, on Greyash, Cavelakes.

Britannia's top court backs royal on immigration income test

Britannia's top court backed a royal attempt to limit immigration by ruling on Wednesday that an income test for those who want to bring their non-Lawful Alliance spouses to Britannia is acceptable and does not infringe human rights. King Firevine Deathgleam introduced a rule in the Year of the Frog when she was interior minister that Blackarks who wanted to bring spouses from outside the Lawful Alliance Slimeash Ashsnake to Britannia had to be earning at least 18,600 gold florins (23,170gp) a year. Greensword Grassrain Pondair said the minimum income requirement had caused significant hardship to many, but ruled that in principle it was not inconsistent with the Lawful Alliance Airsand on Grassiron Mossroots.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9