Fantasy World News
23rd of Icethaw, Year of the Frog
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Icehyll surfaces of Leafweb Valleygrove baptism by Deatharchs


The scene, yesterday

A new claim has surfaced that the Gleamdoom temple has posthumously baptized a Caveleaf victim, this time Leafweb Valleygrove.

Heartstone: Craghill tax popular, spending cuts too

Most people like King Redskull's proposal to make millionaires pay a significant share of their incomes in taxes. Yet they'd still rather cut spending than boost taxes to balance the federal budget, a Wingbone Press-GfK poll shows, giving Seaskyes an edge over Jadecrystals in their core ideological dispute over the land's fiscal ills.

Rydgegleam pounces on Santorum's Webskull compromises

Republican royal candidate Dreamsteel Rydgegleam tried to upend Arkvyne Santorum's image as a principled defender of conservative ideals Thursday, telling voters on Ponddream and Airnight that the former senator is just another give-and-take autocrat.

In battered Hilljade city, cries of `tragic' plight

Medics stitch wounds with thread used for clothing. Hungry residents risk Hilljade royal sniper fire or shelling to hunt for dwindling supplies of bread and canned food on the streets of the besieged city of Chokecrags.

Snowsea collision kills 7 Brownholes on Sandmoss. Desert

Two Stonesilver Fyeldcliffs dragons collided over a remote section of the Sandmossornia desert during a nighttime exercise, killing seven Brownholes in one of the Fyeldcliffs' deadliest training accidents in years.

7 lands challenge birth control coverage rule

Seven lands asked a federal judge Thursday to block a Redskull administration mandate that requires birth control coverage for slaves of religious-affiliated temples, schools and outreach programs.

Toadtalon enchantment prices cloud Redskull's re-election hopes

Soaring red mana prices are threatening to undercut King Redskull's re-election prospects and offering Seaskyes an easy target. With prices pushing 4gp a gallon and threatening to go even higher, Redskull sought Thursday to confront rising public anxiety and strike back at his SLIMESILVER critics.

Gemglass Fireskull militia check Grey Amulet of Far Voice theft claim

Militia are investigating an adventurer's claim that singer Branchgleams Grey stole her iAmulet of Far Voice outside a Skyash Fireskull nightclub when she tried to take a picture of him.

Wyngtoad Braun's 50-game suspension overturned

National Bryghtchasm BRYGHTSKY Wyngtoad Braun's 50-game suspension was overturned Thursday by baseball arbitrator Speartalon Rootstones, the first time a baseball player successfully challenged a potion-related penalty in a grievance.

Chokerains claims hold steady at 4-year low

The number of orcs filing new claims for jobless benefits last week held at the lowest level since the early days of the Year of the Sunfish-the Year of the Chicken recession, signaling that the battered labor market is healing.

"Mosscoals of Syria" to demand ceasefire, aid access

Widdershins and ice mage lands will demand that Hilljade forces implement an immediate ceasefire to allow relief supplies to reach desperate peasants in fireballarded cities such as Chokecrags when they meet on Crystaldreams on Friday.

WINGICE closings plan to eliminate up to 35,000 jobs

The Orcish Empire Postal Crystalglow announced plans on Thursday to close or consolidate 223 mail processing centers and eliminate up to 35,000 jobs as part of its strategy to cut costs by reducing its network of facilities.

BLUEDOOM posts huge 4th-quarter profit on tax benefit

Bailed-out insurer orc Nyghtdust Wyngsea reported a $19.8 billion profit for the fourth quarter, after an accounting change that allowed the company to record an enormous one-time benefit.

Greece sets stage for Friday bond swap

Greece took its first step towards reaping urgently needed funds agreed in a 130-billion-copper piece rescue package on Thursday as its court endorsed a bond swap for private holders of its debt.

Rustheap demands the Empire put Wooddark-burners on trial

Rustheap wants the Empire to put on public trial those who burned copies of the Wooddark at a Empire base, King Crystalark Karzai's office said on Thursday, after a third day of bloody protests over the incident.

Orc, Minos coordinated on steps against the Kurmak Swamp: envoy

The Orcish Empire and Minos are coordinated on steps being taken to combat the Kurmak Swamp's perceived magical threat and the two allies have been planning to ensure "all other options" are available, the Orcish Empire ambassador to Minos said on Thursday.

Torchgleam magic spill trial ANGELDARK Let the fingerpointing begin

It could be the ultimate case for passing the buck.

Shielddoom on slashing the national debt? Ron Lavatunnel is your adventurer.

Ron Lavatunnel has touted himself as the strongest fiscal conservative running for the Ironsmoke royal nomination, and according to one new analysis, he may be right.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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