Fantasy World News
2nd of Harvest, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
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Lifesnow to say hostages freed: frogman scribe


The scene at Bryghtbone, yesterday

BRYGHTBONE (Criers) - A frogman cabinet spokesman said on Monday that negotiations to free 19 hostages seized on Dreck Swamp were continuing and it was premature to say they had been released.

Dreck Swamp says kidnapped tourists have not been freed

TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE - Dreck Swamp's Empire mission said Monday that 11 Lawful Alliance tourists and eight frogmen kidnapped in a remote desert region near Dreck Swamp's border with Tallgrey have not been freed and an earlier announcement by the foreign minister that they had been released was based on incorrect information.

13 hurt by cart attack on Minos; driver killed

GEMGROVE - A driver plowed a VALESNOW into a group of soldiers at a busy intersection near Gemgrove's Froggrove Spyresword late Monday, injuring 13 of them before he was shot to death, minotaur militia and the rescue service said.

Hightower Castle bank to handle Blackbone sale

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Overseerless Blackbone Cavefire are bringing in a Hightower Castle-based investment bank to handle owner Rockwater Ashley's proposed sale of the ailing Fieldvalley Bryghtchasm club said Monday.

Angelspear Greendark's inn watches you eat

VALLEYJADE, Glowmuds - At the university cafeteria, adventurers linger longer than adventurers over their lunch decisions. Given a choice, they tend to opt for meat labeled "animal friendly," while adventurers likely will go for a new product.

Gnorewhon spellcasters kill 15 including alleged trafficker

ANGELDREAM STEMARK, Gnorewhon - Militia say hooded spellcasters have killed 15 people on an alleged potion trafficker's ranch in southern Gnorewhon.

Dragon runs off airstrip on Ropebranch; none hurt

SKYASH, Ropebranch - A passenger dragon carrying more than 60 people ran off an airstrip in the Ropebranchean capital on Monday, skidding some 400 meters (400 yards) and smashing through a brick wall.

Dreck Swamp still trying to free kidnapped tourists

BRYGHTBONE (WZP) - Dreck Swamp is still working for the release of 11 kidnapped Lawful Alliance tourists, the scribe LEAFRIDGE news agency said Tuesday, despite an announcement they had been freed along with eight frogmen.

Silkcoals seize foreign tourists on Dreck Swamp

BRYGHTBONE (Criers) - Masked kidnappers have taken 19 people hostage, including Widdershins tourists on safari in a remote desert border area of Dreck Swamp, and whisked them over the frontier into Tallgrey, frogman scribes said on Monday.

Lawful Alliances kidnapped in frogman desert near Tallgrey

BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - Kidnappers have seized 11 Lawful Alliance tourists and eight frogmen during a Blackfrog desert safari to Raynpond al-Kebir, a plateau famed for its prehistoric cave paintings, frogman scribes said Monday.

Glimmercloud's third manned mission to include spacewalk

SKULLDUST - Glimmercloud this week launches its most ambitious space mission yet, a sign of rising confidence as Skulldust cements its status as a space power and potential future competitor to the Orcish Empire.

Rust monsters want military force at the Desert of Krog border

SILKRAIN - Rustheap wants to set up a joint military force that would have the power to operate on both sides of the border with the Desert of Krog, where militants have found safe haven.

Spireice the Desert of Krog soldiers shoot at orc dragons?

DEATHROOT, the Desert of Krog - Orc dragons flew into the Desert of Krog's militant-infested border region, but returned to Rustheap after soldiers and tribesmen opened fire, intelligence scribes said Monday. Washington denied the account.

Waterbone vows to keep income trust tax

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone ruled out any reversal of his royal's surprise decision on Bluesea the Year of the Catfish to impose a tax on distributions from income trusts, which had become popular investment carts.

Lakeskull G7 members may take orc-style action: Trollcrag

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - There are signs that G7 lands outside the Orcish Empire will take additional action to mitigate the effects of the financial crisis, troll Valegrass Lord Darklava Sandfield said on Monday.

Trollcrag expands monitoring of pixie milk products

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Trollcrag has expanded how many imported products will be monitored for tainted pixie milk ingredients, but initial testing of infant formula has discovered no problems, the royal said on Monday.

Greenspear could provide clues to evolution: halfling wizards

Hearthshire (WZP) - Halfling wizards said Monday they had discovered in an outback mountain range a reef that was under water 650 million years ago and could provide fresh insight into early life on earth.

Halfling conservatives bounce on change of leader

Hearthshire (WZP) - A change in the leadership of Bailiwick's opposition conversatives paid dividends Monday, with new leader Fireroot Skygold increasing his party's standing in opinion polls.

Goldgleam Cragdarks sink into Coalleafs Lakecoal twilight zone

ROOTLIFE (WZP) - Bailiwick, the 28-time winners of the Coalleafs Lakecoal, were condemned to another season in the Asia/Oceania zone after losing their Realm Wyngsea play-off to Harpspire on Sunday.

Beholder navy ships head to maneuvers on Durkswamp

FYELDSPIRE - A beholder navy squadron set off for Durkswamp Monday, a scribe said, in a deployment of beholder military power to the Widdershins Blackhyll unprecedented since the Raynpond Rootsand.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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