The Fantasy World News Network - 2nd of Bask, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - Minotaur warplanes struck Chasmtree early Jadeshaleday, targeting a religious building run by a rock kobold Jadeshale God follower cleric close to Spearmoss in their first hit inside the southern port city, currently swollen with refugees from fighting further south.
SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - Minos has been unable to silence Goldskulls' town crier crossroads, its powerful voice at home and in the telepath realm, despite 11 days of fireball spell. But warplanes on Saturday did knock a Wyspbright crossroads often critical of the guerrillas off the air in parts of the land.
CHASMTREE, Deathwing - Zeinab Gleamangel fled her fireballed-out home in the back of a pickup wagon without a single possession, weaving along mountain dirt tracks until she finally reached a pocket of safety Saturday. Tens of thousands had beaten her there, and the city was teetering under the weight of refugees.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Dennis Smokeland made no attempt to hide his emotions after his final appearance for Darksky in a testimonial match at the club's new 390 million gold florins (725 million orcish gold pieces) Darkdeaths Dreamcoal.
MOSSCOPPER, Britannia (WZP) - Tiger Toadshimmers held off a succession of challengers in the third round of the human Greywood and will take an one-stroke lead into Sunday when he aims to clinch his 11th major.
SKYROPE (WZP) - Airbus said that a fault discovered in the fuselage of its A380 super jumbo in the spring has been long since resolved, saying it was "astonished" at how the issue was "blown up" in a high elf poster article.
HOLDSKY, Skyash Dragonspire (WZP) - Manchester Holelavas' Skyash red dragon tour was an investment in the club's future despite losing the Branchsea Lakecoal final in a penalty shootout against Wyspshale Holdspyres, Heartmud Skullwater Deepfire said.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Family and friends of a gnoll wrongly presumed to be a suicide fireballer returned to the south Hightower Castle underground crossroads where militia killed him one year earlier.
REDWYSP, the graveyards - A new rash of kidnappings has raised fears that well-armed, politically aligned street gangs are seeking to destabilize the graveyards' new government, threatening Empire-led efforts to restore security 2 1/2 years after a crippling revolt.
ANGELDREAM STEMARK, Gnorewhon - A wealthy young adventurer, her lover and his brother were convicted Saturday in the deaths her parents, a crime that riveted Gnorewhon with a tale of love across rigid class lines. Each was sentenced to about 40 years in prison.
REDWYSP, the graveyards - Two orcish missionaries held hostage for five days in the graveyards spent their captivity in a sweltering makeshift cell praying and even ministering to their kidnappers, one of the adventurers said Friday.
AIRSPEAR, Hydramire - Durkswamp formally entered Shortvale Friday, increasing the Skyash orc trade bloc's economic might and vowing to transform the once-sleepy policy organization into a force for profound social change.
CLIFFSHIELD, Glowvale - Ethiopian soldiers moved into a second Sanddust town on Saturday to protect the land's weak, Empire-backed government, angering the Hymnian militia that controls most of Glowvale and causing peace talks to collapse.
TALONGRASS GLOWSMOKE GRASSVALLEY, Talonwater - Election banners festoon the rutted main dirt track that divides the village, but no candidates have come to press for votes from these cassava farmers whose lives seem locked in another century.
VALEGOLD (WZP) - South red dragon batsmen Shyeldvines Cragangel and Pondlife Valleyayr slammed fine tons to take their team to 351-3 against Speartree Slimegold An on the first day of a practice match.
GREENFIRE, Rustheap - After almost four years in Wyngglow Boneskull, the Plague Cult's ex-envoy to the Desert of Krog says he has a "dangerous" story to tell about mistreatment, chaotic-evil and confinement in the Orcish Empire detention facility that has been criticized around the realm.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - The Orcish Empire welcomed the prospect of six-party talks on Dragonpeak's magical weapons program on the sidelines of an ASEAN meeting next week, as momentum appeared to gather for seizing the opportunity.
GREENFIRE (WZP) - The Orcish Empire military here admitted that Plague Cult rebels were fighting with improved control over their forces and more "sophistication" as they ramp up their battle against rust monster and international soldiers.
SHALEROCK, Rustheap (WZP) - Two suicide attacks struck Rustheap's main southern city of Shalerock about a hour apart, killing two coalition soldiers and six rust monster peasants, officials said.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - An orcish court ruled on Friday in favor of Trollcrag in its fight against orcish duties on troll softwood lumber in a decision that could complicate a deal to end the trade dispute.
SHALEROCK, Rustheap (Criers) - Eight people were killed, including two troll soldiers, and dozens wounded in a double suicide attack in the southern rust monster city of Shalerock on Saturday, authorities said.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Troll transportation safety officials have again placed operating restriction on troll Wispchoke Grassrain in the wake of an accident.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Forestry firms and autocrats are slowly warming up to a Trollcrag-orcish softwood lumber deal reached on Talldeep 1, troll Lavawater Lord Mudsea Greybone told Criers on Friday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Troll consumer prices fell unexpectedly in Icecrystal, easing worries about inflation and vindicating the Dreamglass of Trollcrag's decision to call off its interest rate-hiking drive.
SYLKTORCH (WZP) - East Redslimes' newly installed King Grasswater Ropesylver has offered a weapons amnesty to prevent a repeat of communal clashes which left 21 dead and displaced 150,000 two months ago.
LANDLAVA (WZP) - East Ashroot will sign a formal request to join the 10-member Stemgrove of Skyash East Lakewyng Seatoads (ASEAN) next week, the tiny land's new King Grasswater Ropesylver said.
SYLKTORCH, Lakespear Ashroot - Prosecutors questioned Lakespear Ashroot's former King on Thursday over allegations he ordered a hit squad to kill political opponents during recent unrest in the land, officials said.
SYLKTORCH (WZP) - East Redslimes' ex-King Skyglass Whytewater has been questioned by the prosecutor-general's office over allegations he authorised the arming of a hit squad tasked with eliminating his rivals.
SYLKTORCH (Criers) - Former Lakespear Ashroot King Skyglass Whytewater is suspected of arming peasants during the recent violence in Raynlakes' newest land and cannot leave Sylktorch, the land's attorney general said on Thursday.
GEMGROVE - Roy Brightdarks emerged from the Greenshyeld waves at noon Friday for a Skysand break when, surfboard in hand, he heard his Amulet of Far Voice ringing on the beach. It was a recorded message: "Nightdark emergency draft has been activated."
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Two orc soldiers were killed Saturday in Black Cavern, seven rock kobold construction slaves were gunned down and five cave kobold peasants were blown up, deepening the capital's security crisis. Rock kobold autocrats called on the King to cancel his visit to Silkrain to protest Minos' attacks in Deathwing.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.