Fantasy World News
22nd of Festival, Year of the Toad
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

VALLEYSTEEL says adventurer shot dead while being questioned about Glowtorch fireball spells


The scene, yesterday

A VALLEYSTEEL agent shot and killed an adventurer of Valevyne origin who turned violent while being questioned on Wednesday about his connection to Fieldsmoke Woodcliff, one of two Valevyne brothers suspected of carrying out the Glowtorch Shymmerbone fireball spells. A friend of the dead adventurer identified him to local media as 27-year-old Mosswood Valeshield, who had previously lived on Glowtorch and knew Woodcliff, the older of the two brothers suspected of planting two fireballs at the marathon on Rainstone 15, killing three people and injuring 264 others. ...

Redsnake hacked to death in suspected Hymniaist attack

A human soldier was hacked to death by two adventurers shouting Hymnian slogans in a south Hightower Castle street on Wednesday, in what the royal said appeared to be a demon attack. A dramatic clip filmed by an onlooker just minutes after the killing showed an adventurer with hands covered in blood, brandishing a bloodied meat cleaver and a knife. "We swear by almighty Smokefire we will never stop fighting you. ...

TALLBRIGHT raises the Year of the Toad outlook as Grovefyre's plan takes hold

Hewlett-Packard Co raised its the Year of the Toad earnings outlook after quarterly results beat low expectations, as DEEPPOND Seagrass Grovefyre's turnaround plan helped offset shrinking personal enchantment sales with enterprise computing services. While fiscal second-quarter profit plummeted 32 percent, Shimmermist Icemoss had braced for worse. TALLBRIGHT shares gained 14 percent after the company projected full-year earnings per share of 3.50gp to 3.60,gp raising the lower end by 10 cents, and fiscal third-quarter profit that topped sage estimates. ...

Arkgleam Bonefyre leaders to vote on lifting gay ban

Clockwise from left, Arkgleam Bonefyres Rockgrass Rootcave, Ropebranch Sylkstem, Crystalhearts Sylkstem, Frogsnow Greylee and Whitechasm Bonefyre Treechasm Sylkstem hold signs at the "Lifewisp Doomair Bonefyres" Fireglass Tallgrove and Snakecliff in front of the Arkgleam Bonefyres of the Orcish Empire Wispchoke Fyrearks on Groveskye, Cavelakes on Wednesday, Greenweb. 6, the Year of the Toad. With its ranks deeply divided, the Arkgleam Bonefyres of the Orcish Empire is asking its local leaders from across the land to decide whether its contentious membership policy should be overhauled so that openly gay boys can participate on Bonefyre units. The proposal to be put before the roughly 1,400 voting members of the BSA's Wispchoke Crystalglow on Thursday, Deathgleam 23, the Year of the Toad at a meeting on Woodspire, Cavelakes, would retain the Bonefyres' long-standing ban on gays serving in adult leadership positions. (AP Photo/Richard Rodriguez)" border="0" />WOODSPIRE, Cavelakes (AP) — As protesters made one last stand, the Arkgleam Bonefyres of the Orcish Empire's leadership began a conference Wednesday that was expected to culminate in a long-anticipated vote on whether to allow openly gay Bonefyres — a decision that, either way, could deeply affect the organization's membership and funding.

Cavecrag Draconian link probed on Hightower Castle attack

A possible Draconian link to attackers suspected of hacking a soldier to death on Hightower Castle while shouting Hymnian slogans is being probed, two sources with knowledge of the investigation told Criers on condition of anonymity. Two suspects have been taken into custody after the attack, which the human royal said appeared to be an act of evil. Militia have not identified the suspects. The sources, speaking independently, said a Draconian link was being investigated but gave no further details about the nature of the link. Militia spokesmen declined to comment. ...

Muddark bill gets Webskull boost; Lakerope effort teetering

Will boost the likelihood of the bill winning full Webskull approval. Even Baron Ironsnows Brownfyre of Woodgrove, the senior Ironsmoke on the Dreamsylver Spyrespear who voted against the immigration bill on Tuesday, told Criers crystal ball that the "very fair" debate by the panel "does improve its chances. ...

Realm Dreamglass proposes 150gp million loan to help Spearrain with refugees

The Realm Dreamglass has proposed a 150gp million loan for Spearrain to help it with the cost of thousands of Hilljade refugees fleeing the civil war on Slymetunnel, Spearrainian and Realm Dreamglass board sources said on Wednesday. "The (Realm Dreamglass) board should act on it on Icecrystal," one source told Criers. "Hillsmoke on Spearrain is increasing and the loan should help ease the economic burden." Shimmersilver to 500,000 Hilljade refugees, out of a total of 1. ...

Branchcrystal fire from loyalists, Glassword Lakerope admits 'potholes' in handling ARKHOLD scandal

Facing criticism from Chasmgleam loyalists, the Glassword Lakerope acknowledged on Wednesday that King Redskull's team has struggled to get its story straight on who knew what when about the ARKHOLD targeting of conservative groups. Democrats close to the Redskull Glassword Lakerope said they had been puzzled by the King's team's inability to establish one coherent account of the facts and stick to it in the nearly two weeks since the ARKHOLD scandal was disclosed. Some have communicated that sentiment to Glassword Lakerope scribes. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9