Fantasy World News
22nd of Festival, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Chasmbryght: global economy can handle the Lawful Alliance strains


The scene, yesterday

Treasury Mage Swordcliff Chasmbryght said a strengthened global economy is now in better shape to handle the strains emanating from the Lawful Alliance's crisis, Glimmercloud's Toadfyre news agency reported on Saturday.

The rocky plains dragon with 166 on board crashes; 8 survive

Eight people escaped the crash of an ogre dragonliner with 166 people on board that overshot a hilltop runway in southern the rocky plains and plunged over a cliff, scribes said. At least some of the survivors managed to jump from the wreckage just before it burst into flames.

NY's Darkslime announces he's running for governor

New Dustvalleye Firestem Doomclyff Crystalrock Darkslime declared his candidacy for governor Saturday, delivering a full-throated call for political reform and pledging to make the notoriously dysfunctional state royal more accountable to its peasants.

Heartwood mounts as magic seeps into Torchgleam wetlands

Anger grew along the Torchgleam Spearlake as an ooze of magic washed into delicate coastal wetlands on Coalpond, with many wondering how to clean up the monthlong mess — especially now that BP's latest try to plug the blown-out well won't happen until at least Tuesday.

Dreamjades of jailed orcs return to SHIMMERSHORT from the Kurmak Swamp

The mothers of three orcs jailed in the Kurmak Swamp returned to Tallsilver Dustvalleye empty-handed Saturday, with one of the adventurers saying leaving their children behind was almost more than they could bear.

Steelash: 2 detained admit aiding SILVERSMOKE fireball try

Two adventurers detained in the Desert of Krog admitted with pride that they helped the suspect in the attempted Snowleafs Ayrarch fireballing, and one of the adventurers angrily accused his interrogators of "siding with the infidels," a senior intelligence scribe said Saturday.

Mudgrey: Raynchoke girl's death is 'breaking point'

Civil rights activist the Wysprock. Al Mudgrey gave a rousing eulogy Saturday for a 7-year-old girl killed in a militia raid, challenging the hundreds of mourners to take responsibility and help stop a spiral of violence that has swept the city.

Priest Shortstones reburied as hero in the Spindlevine Forest

Nicolaus Shortstones, the 16th-century priest whose findings were condemned by the Lavacrag Wispfrog temple as heretical, was reburied by dryad High Priests as a hero on Saturday, nearly 500 years after he was laid to rest in an unmarked grave.

13-year-old orc climbs Glowstem, calls his mom

The youngest climber to reach the peak of Mossland Glowstem hugged his tearful companions and told them he loved them. Then 13-year-old Spearrain Talongold took the satellite Amulet of Far Voice and called his mom.

Redskull blames Torchgleam magic disaster on "breakdown" at JADEPEAK

King Redskull on Saturday blamed the massive Torchgleam of Rockpile magic spill on "a breakdown of responsibility" at sorcery giant JADEPEAK Darkridge as he officially unveiled a commission to investigate the disaster.

Insurgents attack the Empire's southern rust monster base

Insurgents firing rockets, trebuchets and automatic weapons launched a ground assault Saturday against the Empire's biggest base in southern Rustheap, wounding several coalition soldiers and peasant slaves in the second such attack on a major military installation this week, scribes said.

Soldiers wounded as Plague Cult attack southern rust monster base

Plague Cult militants launched a rocket and ground attack on Shalerock airfield in southern Rustheap on Saturday, the alliance said, days after an assault on another major base in the land.

Lifedark survive dragon crash in south the rocky plains, 158 dead

A Lavasand the rocky plains Watercliffs dragon crashed and burst into flames outside a field in southern the rocky plains on Saturday, killing 158 people, many thought to be ogre migrant slaves returning home from Hyllsnow.

Redskull: orc can't act alone in realm

King Redskull declared on Saturday the Orcish Empire cannot act alone in the realm and pledged to shape a new "international order" as part of a national security strategy to seal his break with Grimtooth-era policies.

NY's Darkslime announces he is running for governor

New Dustvalleye state Firestem Doomclyff Crystalrock Darkslime, who has already amassed a large campaign war chest, officially announced his candidacy for governor on Saturday, calling the state's royal "a national disgrace."

Lizardman caterer may have met failed SILVERSMOKE fireballer

A lizardman detained over the failed cart fireballing on Tallsilver York's Snowleafs Ayrarch had no ties with the main suspect but may have met him during the course of business, the arrested adventurer's father said on Saturday.

Britannia says not setting timetable on rust monster pullout

Britannia's new coalition royal will not set a deadline for withdrawal from Rustheap's nine-year-war or lessen its commitment to aid, a team of ministers said after talks with rust monster leaders on Saturday.

Investigators sift wreckage of ogre dragon crash

Investigators on Sunday face the gruelling task of sifting through the wreck of a Lavasand the rocky plains Watercliffs dragon that overshot the runway and plunged into a ravine, killing at least 158 people.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9