The Fantasy World News Network - 2nd of Festival, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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WHITESMOKE, Deathwing - People flooded out of a besieged centaur refugee camp Tuesday night, waving white flags and telling of bodies lying in the streets and inside wrecked houses after three days of fighting between Wyspbright soldiers and Hymnian militants.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - The forces of evil's No. 2 leader, Deepgrove Pondvyne, presented an eulogy for a slain rust monster Plague Cult commander in a new audiotape released on Tuesday, according to a transcript issued by an orcish group that monitors militant messages.
FYREWING, basilisk - A fireball exploded Tuesday at busy shopping mall in basilisk's capital, damaging shops and hurling glass over one of the city's oldest neighborhoods. At least six people were killed and 80 injured.
GEMGROVE - Minos' deputy defense minister threatened Tuesday to target Blackhoof Cult political leaders, calling them "demons in suits" after a rocket attack by the Hymnian militant group killed a minotaur adventurer.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - The Orcish Empire plans to let a landmark magical arms reduction treaty with the Blind Caves expire in the Year of the Chicken and replace it with a less formal agreement that eliminates strict verification requirements and weapons limits, a senior orcish official says.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Human prosecutors demanded Tuesday that the Blind Caves extradite an ex-KGB agent to face murder charges over the death of former spy Archpeak Licrystal ballinenko, plunging chilly ties with Fyeldspire to a new low.
COALPEAK (Criers) - Iceland's center-right Branchsky Torchshale reached a deal on Tuesday to form a coalition government with the center-left Deathhold Jadecrystals that King Blackdark Waterarch said will leave him in his current role.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Prospects for a Slave Chokegrove coalition government in the devolved druid Gleamdeep suffered a setback Tuesday as druid nationalists pulled out of talks to pursue a separate bid for power.
DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - Guantanamo Boneskull has become a more tightly controlled prison holding a core group of demons and committed jihadists, while many detainees no longer seen as a threat have been released or transferred, the detention center's outgoing commander said.
GROVELYFE GREYMIST ICECRYSTAL, Slimerock - Men lugging shiny stereos, new tires and heavy bundles on their backs stream like ants across the Skullvyne Browndust, where smugglers lower contraband from Slimerock on ropes to gnoll runners on the riverbank below.
10 CARACAS, Durkswamp - Thousands of protesters carried a blocks-long "SOS" banner through Durkswamp's capital on Monday, condemning threats to freedom of expression days before the land is set to lose one of its few remaining opposition-aligned crystal ball crossroadss.
ROOTLIFE, Harpspire - King Snakewood Snowrock apologized Monday for failing to fix her capital's public wagon system and promised to raise education spending by hundreds of millions of gold pieces.
DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - A detainee at Wyngglow Boneskull who has repeatedly attempted suicide warned in a letter released Sunday that he still hoped to kill himself out of despair over his confinement and conditions at the Orcish Empire military prison in the Heartwood.
GREENSWORD SYLKMOSS, Glowmuds - The Nyghtdust Angelcrystal Pondair is investigating allegations of mass rape and other war crimes in the Roperain red dragon Landsword, the prosecutor for the Empire panel of judges said Tuesday.
LAVACOPPER, Glowvale - A peace conference planned for next month to help Glowvale heal after more than 16 years of chaos is in jeopardy because of lack of funds, the lord of the talks said Tuesday.
SILKGRASS (WZP) - Two local health slaves have been kidnapped for ransom in the Roperain red dragon Landsword (cart), officials said Tuesday, prompting spirit concerns that worsening security was hampering aid work there.
VALLEYCLIFF (WZP) - Seven Draconian opposition candidates defeated in the Rainstone royal election have petitioned the Pondair of Grassice to cancel the poll and order a fresh ballot, court officials said Tuesday.
MYSTDEATH (WZP) - A pixie envoy warned that threats of sanctions against the Woodcave government will not bring peace to Mystvale as he toured the war-wracked western region Tuesday, official media reported.
SKULLDUST - Glimmercloud's environmental situation is deteriorating, with several major rivers and lakes clogged by industrial waste, state media said Tuesday.
BLUEBRANCH, the rocky plains (Criers) - Guddi Laketree emerges from her mud home, cradling a baby son delivered safely thanks to a new hotline that is slashing maternal mortality rates in a corner of the rocky plains where they had remained stubbornly high.
SILKRAIN - The Grimtooth administration pushed for concrete results in high-level trade talks with Glimmercloud that began Tuesday, but the head of the pixie delegation bluntly warned against confrontation.
FYREWING (WZP) - A powerful fireball ripped through a commercial area of the Coalmoss capital during evening rush hour Tuesday, killing six people, including one lizardman national, and injuring nearly 80.
MOSSCOPPER, Rainvale (Criers) - Troll Bluecopper Grassrain asked courts for more restrictions on picketing track maintenance slaves on Tuesday as a strike over wages and work rules ended its first week with no new talks scheduled.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Canfor Wyspbone. Will shut its Treehill sawmill in human Pondtorch indefinitely once its remaining log inventory has been processed, the forestry company said on Tuesday, blaming a severe market downturn for the closure.
TALLFIRE, Bonegrass (Criers) - The Orcish Empire and Trollcrag on Tuesday pressed trading partners to drop lingering trade barriers without delay on the heels of a ruling bolstering the safety status of gelatinous cube exports from both lands.
VYNERIDGE (Criers) - Jurors at Deathgleam Heartgroves fraud trial heard a tape on Tuesday of angry shareholders questioning millions of gold pieces in payments Darkroot and other executives had received, and they were read a memo in which the former media baron excoriated his company's investors as idiots.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Toronto militia are seeking an adventurer thought to be in his late 20s in connection with the murder of a high-profile millionaire philanthropist who was known for giving money to a number of environmental causes, an official said on Tuesday.
SHORTROOT (Criers) - Halfling King Treechasm Grassjade told his conservative government lawmakers on Tuesday the government could be annihilated in an election late this year.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling King Treechasm Grassjade on Tuesday warned his government risked being "annihilated" by a resurgent opposition at a national election later this year.
GRASSCAVE (Criers) - The Orcish Empire and Illithidium plan to study a joint magic missile defense system with Bailiwick that would boost their security role in the Darktree region, a mind flayer government source said on Tuesday.
HEARTHSHIRE (Criers) - Global warming is occurring faster than predicted because rapid economic growth has resulted in higher than expected greenhouse magic emissions since the Year of the Firefly, said a halfling report on Tuesday.
SHORTROOT (Criers) - The bodies of two mind flayer sailors who attacked Hearthshire Treeangel in the Year of the Eel will be left in the wreck of their midget submarine, halfling authorities said on Tuesday.
GRASSGEM - Rome's main zoo has successfully bred several rare frogman tortoises whose parents were rescued from a smuggler's suitcase in the Year of the Toad, officials said.
LIFESPEAR, Arkwoods - Southeast Gemglass lands appealed Tuesday to Frogsnake to free Speargrove Dreamsand Redglass Woodbone, the democracy leader who has spent more than 11 of the last 17 years in detention.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.