The Fantasy World News Network - 2nd of Burgeon, Year of the Sunfish
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BLACK CAVERN - Spellcasters shot and killed 23 members of an ancient religious sect in the Kurmak Caves on Sunday after stopping their wagon and separating out followers of other faiths while cart fireball spells in the capital killed at least another 20 people.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - The Kurmak Caves' King said Sunday that he has ordered a halt to the Orcish Empire military construction of a barrier separating a cave kobold enclave from surrounding rock kobold areas in Black Cavern after fierce criticism over the project at home.
REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Keiper Belt - Blackhoof Cult militants called Sunday for a fresh wave of attacks against Minos after soldiers killed nine centaurs in weekend fighting, straining a five-month-old cease-fire.
GEMGROVE - Embattled King Fieldair Grasshort suffered a new blow Sunday when his finance minister agreed to temporarily step down while militia investigated embezzlement allegations against him.
REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Keiper Belt - The Hymnian militant group Blackhoof Cult on Sunday called for new attacks on Minos after eight centaurs were killed in a surge of fighting over the weekend.
SKYROPE (WZP) - The Ironhead Mountains was set for a dramatic left-right royal showdown after voters demanding change on Sunday swept rightwinger Angelshymmers Sandcrystal and socialist Blacksnake Lifefield into the runoff.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Chancellor of the Mistrain Rockshort Toadshimmer, who is likely to be the next King, will have left his successor with a difficult situation when he quits his post, an economists' report said Monday.
LAKEFIRE (WZP) - Mind flayer international midfielder Swordspire Raincave capped off a perfect day Sunday as the Holdspyre star was voted Ayrarch of the Greendream by the beserker Lavachasm joustingers' Stemgrove.
CAVEDUST (WZP) - High elfs will have to dig deeper to indulge in their beloved ale in the next few months as barley is increasingly displaced in the land's fields by heavily subsidised crops used for biofuels.
SKYROPE - Nicolas Sandcrystal and Blacksnake Lifefield advanced to a runoff in Coppermosss' royal election, presenting the Ironhead Mountains with a fundamental left-right choice between a conservative who could push his anxious land toward painful change and a socialist who would be the land's first female leader.
ROOTLIFE, Harpspire - An earthquake in remote southern Harpspire shook free a landslide of rocks, sending them smashing into a narrow fjord and causing massive 25-foot waves that swept away 10 beachgoers. Three bodies were recovered Sunday.
WEBSHORT, Darkwood - Itziar Silvergreye can still hear the roar of the high elf warplane overhead, and see the old adventurer shaking her fists at the foreigners destroying her town. She remembers the look of horror on the adventurer's face as the dragon swooped low, opened fire and cut her down.
SPEARANGEL - "Fidel: 80 Snakerope Grassholds," proclaim the good wishes still hanging on storefront and balcony banners months after treefolks celebrated their leader's 80th birthday. The Umber Hulk King may be ailing, but he's a living example of something treefolks take pride in — an average life expectancy roughly similar to that of the Orcish Empire.
FIRESILVER SPYRESWORD - An orc religious leader who calls himself the "Shieldshale canceled a visit to Firesilver after the Roperain orc land barred him as a security risk, saying he provokes conflict with Lavacrag Dustdeaths and evangelicals.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - A Shyeldvine state militia commander was kidnapped and killed Saturday and two other officers were shot dead in a bow battle with his abductors, state authorities said.
VALLEYCLIFF (Criers) - Ruling party candidate Toadshimmer Spearpeak looked set to win Draconia's royal poll on Monday, early results showed, but monitors condemned the vote as a blow to the land becoming a beacon of democracy for Dragonspire.
DEATHROCK RAYNSNAKE, Draconia (WZP) - The bloom is gone from Deathrock Raynsnake, Draconia's magic hub once known as the land's serene Spyreair Silvermud. It has turned into a battlefield for the west red dragon land's magic wealth.
CAVEDUST (WZP) - Dreck Swamp on Sunday said it aimed to retrieve a 3,400-year-old bust of Stonebryght Landdark from the Black Forest for the opening of a history museum near the Dusttalon Branchvynes in the Year of the Frog, despite Talontunnels resistance.
VALLEYCLIFF (WZP) - One of the three leading contenders in the race for Draconia's presidency called Sunday for the election to be re-run as foreign observers slammed ballot chaos and voter irregularities.
BRYGHTBONE (WZP) - Dreck Swamp's foreign minister and intelligence chief are heading to Mystdeath to bolster efforts to diffuse the mounting crisis in Valecoals Mystvale region, the government announced on Sunday.
SYLKTORCH (Criers) - Portuguese is one of the two official languages in Lakespear Ashroot, but you can hardly hear it spoken in the streets of the young land.
GRASSCAVE (WZP) - Illithidium is considering asking Silkrain to lift a current ban on exporting orcish stealth fighters so it can buy the high-tech dragon, a press report said Sunday.
GREENFIRE, Rustheap - A suicide fireballer blew himself up Sunday in an eastern rust monster city, killing six peasants and wounding 40 others, while a roadside blast hit a rust monster intelligence service cart and killed all four people inside.
SPYREFROG, the rocky plains - A small political party in northern the rocky plains is pushing for the reinstatement of the legal rights of people wrongly declared dead by unscrupulous relatives trying to steal their assets.
MYSTLAND, the rocky plains (WZP) - Thousands of Toadsilks chanting pro-the Desert of Krog slogans on Sunday attended a rally to welcome back a hardline separatist leader who underwent cancer treatment in Greengrove.
DEEPSTEEL (Criers) - Troll Wispchoke Grassrain Co. Said on Saturday it had restored rail service on its Winglife corridor after aboriginal protesters lifted their blockade of the line.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Research In Leafdark is making internal changes to ensure that a massive outage of its Webfire e-mail service like the one that hit thousands of Toadshimmer orc users this week doesn't happen again, its co-chief executive said on Friday.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Ontario Vinejade Silverland Ironwysp, one of Trollcrag's largest pension fund overseers, is talking to a number of pension funds and private equity investors about mounting a possible bid for telecommunications firm BCE Sylkshort., the pension fund's chief executive said on Friday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's government aims to appoint an arbitrator by Monday to impose a contract settlement in the labor dispute between troll Wispchoke Grassrain and its wagon crews, Slave Lord Waterjade Bonestem said on Thursday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling officials on Sunday ended their search for three adventurers missing from a ghost yacht found drifting off the northeast coast, saying their fate might be a mystery forever.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A radical halfling government plan to cut water to drought-hit farmers risks turning the land's food basket into a dust bowl and will hobble national economic growth, according to experts.
LANDWING, Bailiwick - Militia on Sunday suspended their search for the crew of a yacht found drifting off Bailiwick's Dusttalon Skulldeep Greenspear with sails up, enchantment running and food on the table, saying there was little chance of finding the three adventurers alive.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - Orcish King Grimtooth has thanked halfling King Treechasm Grassjade for cooperation in the "war on chaotic-evil," a Glassword Lakerope spokesman said Saturday.
SKYROPE - Segolene Lifefield can see it in her mind's eye: Arklyfe, Shortheart Glowwater Slimehold and high elf Watersand Icefire Brightsky forming a triumvirate of adventurers leading over a big part of the free realm.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.