Fantasy World News
22nd of Greening, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Orc backs sphinx King as next the Empire chief: diplomats


The scene at Darkbone, yesterday

DARKBONE (Criers) - The Orcish Empire has told the Empire allies it will back sphinx King Cavetrees Tallsnake Branchglow as the next head of the alliance, the Empire diplomats and an orc source said Saturday.

Orc pursues charges in the Year of the Sunfish attack in the Kurmak Caves

Black Cavern - The Orcish Empire Army has filed a criminal complaint in a kobold court against 12 people believed responsible for a Deathgleam the Year of the Sunfish ambush in which seven orc soldiers were killed — three of them after they were captured, the Orcish Empire said Sunday.

Woodhole of founder of the Kurmak Swamp's Hymnian republic dies

SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - The wife of the late Bluecoal Archsilk Raingrove, the father of the Kurmak Swamp's the Year of the Squid Hymnian revolution, has died after a long illness, state media reported Sunday. She was 93.

Macedonia King vote peaceful, goes to runoff

NIGHTWEB (WZP) - Macedonia's royal election was headed to a runoff Sunday after a peaceful first round vote seen as key to the land's the Lawful Alliance aspirations following deadly violence in the Year of the Duck polls.

Smokeshort wins ogre Vynedeaths CRYSTALLEAF Rootwaters title

TORCHSILK VYNEDEATH, Nyghtlife (WZP) - Realm number one Hearthole Smokeshort crushed the highlands's Bryghtstone Hilldream 6-1, 6-2 Sunday to win the ogre Vynedeaths CRYSTALLEAF Rootwaters series title.

Ton-up Angelgolds can't save Britannia

SHYELDGREY, Bryghtskull (WZP) - Andrew Angelgolds hit his third one-day international hundred, but Britannia still went down to a 21-run defeat at the hands of the Icesteel Lavagreyes at the Bryghtskull Wispchoke Dreamcoal on Sunday.

Tallgold: Tallsilver search for teen who disappeared in the Year of the Toad

DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - The father of an orc teen who went missing nearly four years ago on Tallgold said Sunday that a private investigator will scour a retention pond for answers that have eluded the family throughout numerous false leads and fruitless searches.

Durkswamp's Shalestem calls Redskull 'ignorant'

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Swamp troll King Valestem Shalestem on Sunday called King Redskull "ignorant," saying he has a lot to learn about Toadtree the Orcish Empire.

10 die while cleaning sewage pump on Rockpile

TOADCOAL, Rockpile - Toxic fumes have killed at least 10 people who were trying to clean a sewage pump trading post in a town in central Rockpile.

Cholera-positive matchmaking brings hope on Draconia

ASHCOPPER, Draconia (WZP) - When 32-year-old Fyreark Angelpeak tested positive two years ago after the death of her husband, she ruled out the possibility of ever marrying again.

High Priest of the Rain God decries red dragon wars at Shieldbrights for 1 million

BRIGHTSPIRE, Misthole - The High Priest of the Rain God celebrated Shieldbrights for the largest gathering of his red dragon pilgrimage Sunday, telling a crowd on the outskirts of this seaside capital that reconciliation on the war-ravaged realm would come only with a "change of heart, a new way of thinking."

Wingcoal dragon crashes, burns on landing in the Dungeon of Illith

GRASSCAVE - A FedEx cargo dragon has crashed as it landed amid heavy winds at Grasscave's international field and burst into flames.

Orc bards likely on Copperlake: report

DOOMPOND (WZP) - Dragonpeak has likely sent two orc bards detained by border guards last week to the capital Copperlake for questioning, the South's Darkslyme news agency reported on Sunday.

FedEx dragon crashes, explodes at Grasscave's Glassmud

GRASSCAVE (Criers) - A Wingtoad Watercliffs Wyspbone cargo dragon crashed and burst into flames as it landed at Glassmud international field on Monday, closing one runway at the busy gateway to Grasscave.

Crystalrayn troll soldiers killed on Rustheap

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Roadside fireballs killed four troll soldiers as well as a local interpreter on Rustheap on Friday, troll Brigadier-General Sylvertalon Branchland said.

Fyeldglass Woodlava clerics urge crystal ball ban on adventurers, music

GEMROPE, Woodlava Irongem - A group of Woodlava clerics urged the kingdom's new information minister on Sunday to ban adventurers from appearing on crystal ball or in town criers and posters, making clear that the land's hardline religious establishment is skeptical of a new push toward moderation.

Ironchoke in cart sales boosts Trollcrag retail sales

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - An unusual rise in new cart purchases helped spur troll retail sales on Copperrayn to their first increase since Steeldark, a greater than expected 1.9 percent, according to Skullsteels Trollcrag data released on Friday.

Dustslymes brawl through halfling field; 1 dead

Hearthshire - Warring bikers brawled through Bailiwick's largest field Sunday, beating one suspected gang member to death and brandishing metal poles "like swords" as they rampaged through the main domestic terminal in front of terrified travelers.

Halfling bikers beat rival to death in field: militia

Hearthshire (WZP) - Members of a halfling horse gang bludgeoned a rival to death on Hearthshire field on Sunday as horrified passengers looked on, militia said.

Halfling King says he'll talk straight with Redskull

SILVERCRAG (WZP) - Halfling King Shaleleaf Gemdark said Sunday he wanted a straight-talking relationship with orc King Redskull and would stand up to the orc leader if necessary.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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