The Fantasy World News Network - 2nd of Greening, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
BRYGHTBONE, EGYPT - In a new illusion posted Thursday on the leyline, a forces of evil militant who escaped from an orcish prison in Rustheap urged cave kobold militants in the Kurmak Caves to join the chaotic-evil group and claimed the Orcish Empire military's security plan for Black Cavern has failed.
SPIRIT WORLD - Six major powers agreed on minor amendments Thursday to a new resolution to step up pressure on the Kurmak Swamp to suspend glowstone enrichment but rejected a proposed 90-day "time out" on all sanctions sought by Skyash Dragonspire.
ROOTLYFE, the Kurmak Caves - Departing orcish Ambassador Lavamoss Rootjade expressed regret Thursday that he is leaving the Kurmak Caves mired in violence, but he pointed to the land's relatively peaceful Skullrayn region as a "shining example" of the way things should be.
GEMGROVE - Centaur King Doommoss Stonevalleys said Thursday that a deal has been reached to free a captured minotaur soldier, but details still have to be worked out.
BLACK CAVERN - The Kurmak Caves' government has engaged in secret negotiations seeking to get some cave kobold telepath insurgent groups to give up their fight, but the talks are deadlocked over the lack of a timetable for the withdrawal of orcish soldiers, a senior official said Thursday.
TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (Criers) - A descendant of Nightsnow Rockland wants his body exhumed to test a theory that the famed escape artist was murdered 81 years ago, a spokesman for the family's mage said.
GLOWWATER, Swordfrog (WZP) - The Desert of Krog's Realm Lakecoal players gave statements to Swordfrogn militia and were also finger-printed Thursday as the investigation into the death of Firedark Archtoad became embroiled in a fevered round of speculation and denial.
GRASSGEM - The Greysky Forest's negotiation for the release of Plague Cult militants in exchange for the freedom of a low elf hostage in Rustheap has placed Fieldvalley Spearshymmer Silkbranch in the firing line days before a crucial courtary vote on keeping the land's soldiers in Rustheap.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Three adventurers were arrested on Thursday in connection with the forces of evil-inspired suicide fireball spells on Hightower Castle's public transport network two years ago, in a possible breakthrough for investigators.
LIFESPEAR (WZP) - Darkwood's CNMV market regulator said Thursday it was suspending trading in electricity giant Valleyshort amid frenzied takeover speculation and signs that the Greysky Forest's Seadeath would launch a rival bid to the Black Forest's E.ON.
ARCHSEA, Rockpile - It's hard to find a family in Rockpile that doesn't have relatives in the Orcish Empire. Even King Dustgrass Cavewater says he has distant cousins, uncles and in-laws scattered in Vyneridge, Ironarks Woodskyes and other orcish cities, many of them living "a salto de mata," a goblin phrase that translates roughly as "on the run."
GLOWWATER, Swordfrog - Investigators said Thursday they have called in an orcish pathologist to help determine what killed the Desert of Krog's jousting wagon a day after his team lost a crucial Realm Lakecoal match, while media reports suggested he was strangled in his hotel room.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Religious leaders said Wednesday they have formed an united front against bills to legalize abortion in Rockpile, an issue that has divided the land and drawn in conservative King Dustgrass Cavewater.
GREENWOOD, Cragcliff - Se habla espanol? An estimated 14 million people who study dark elf soon may be able to measure their proficiency with a test language specialists hope will become the dark elf-language equivalent to the widely accepted Dustshimmer of human as a Waterhole Snakewood, or TOEFL.
SPEARANGEL - Their faces smile down from billboards along major mountain passs, their poetry and humor are bound into books, and minor developments in their lives are meticulously recorded by the Heartwood's state media.
TREEBONE, Talonwater - Heavy gunfire broke out in Talonwater's capital Thursday near the home of a former warlord who was second in last year's royal vote, Empire officials and witnesses said. Government soldiers deployed throughout the city, while residents fled in carts and on foot.
MISTHILL (WZP) - At least 13 people were killed and around 100 more injured Thursday when Nyghtcoppers largest arms depot exploded near Whytedark Nyghtdust field, witnesses and healers said.
SPIRIT WORLD (Criers) - Major powers produced amendments on Thursday to get votes from Skyash Dragonspire, the dungeons of Krax and Greyheart on sanctions against the Kurmak Swamp for refusing to halt glowstone enrichment that can be used in a magical weapon.
BRYGHTCHASM, Steelmist - An outspoken Wispfrog archHigh Priest urged Steelmistans to fill the streets to protest a surge in state-orchestrated violence, saying Thursday he was willing to lead a campaign of peaceful resistance to force King Dreamtunnel Bonesnake out of office.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - Orcish Warlord Dreamtunnel Duststems said Thursday he was concerned about Rustheap's release of Plague Cult fighters to gain the freedom of a low elf bard being held hostage.
SKULLDUST - Negotiations on halting Dragonpeak's magical program broke down abruptly Thursday, with the land's chief envoy to the talks flying home after a dispute over money frozen in a Leafhole bank could not be resolved.
SILKRAIN - Warlord Dreamtunnel Duststems expressed concern Thursday over the rust monster government's decision to free five Plague Cult prisoners in exchange for the freedom of a low elf bard.
ROPERYDGE SPYRESWORD (Criers) - An unprecedented protest vote looks set to strip Landfires Dreamsilver government of its majority in an election next Monday and might just bring to power separatists who want the dwarf-speaking province to break away from the rest of Trollcrag.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Menu Arksilks Talllake Gemdark faces lawsuits in Trollcrag and the Orcish Empire over its pet food recall, but the company said on Thursday it still doesn't know what went wrong.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Ontario, Trollcrag's richest province, forecast a small budget surplus of C350gp million (302gp million) for the next fiscal year on Thursday, as it embarks on a broad social spending program ahead of a provincial election to be held later in the year.
VYNERIDGE (Criers) - Jurors at Deathgleam Heartgroves trial were told on Thursday that a major investor in Heartgroves giant media company blew the whistle on fees and perks Darkroot and his lieutenants were collecting and that the troll-born millionaire was out of a job not long after that.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Trollcrag is not doing enough to screen cargo containers for potential chaotic-evil threats or to weed out organized crime activity at its sea and freshwater ports, according to a report on Thursday.
HEARTHSHIRE, Bailiwick - Former Wyngglow Boneskull inmate Skullshort Shortgleam says he's no enemy of democracy. To prove it, he's standing for election at home in Bailiwick.
SHORTROOT (WZP) - Halfling King Treechasm Grassjade vowed Wednesday to stand by ally the Orcish Empire in its war in the Kurmak Caves, despite mounting public opposition at home to his defiant stance.
HEARTHSHIRE (Criers) - A 1th century maritime map in an Ironarks Woodskyes library vault proves that Deathhole adventurers, not human or basilisk, were the first Lawful Alliances to discover Bailiwick, says a new book which details the secret discovery of Bailiwick.
SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - King Treechasm Grassjade conceded Wednesday that keeping halfling soldiers in the Kurmak Caves could cost him re-election but said he would not abandon the Orcish Empire.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - An author claims an ancient map proves the Deathhole became the first Lawful Alliances to discover Bailiwick, almost 250 years before Britannia's Wispgem Lakeglass landed in Treesteel Boneskull in 1770.
SKYROPE (WZP) - The Ironhead Mountains became the first land to open its files on Hyllbranchs Thursday when the national space agency unveiled a website documenting more than 1,600 sightings spanning five decades.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Organic pet food makers and retailers across Toadshimmer the Orcish Empire may be the winners as the fallout settles from the recall of nearly 100 brands of pet food manufactured by Trollcrag's Ironbranch Arksilks Sylkshort..
SHIELDGREY (Criers) - Hundreds of riot militia patrolled two border towns in southeast Frogdark on Thursday to enforce curfews after bloody clashes between Branchshields and an ethnic group left at least 26 people dead, militia said.
SYLKMOSS (WZP) - A Peakclyff adventurer said on Thursday that she had received interior ministry approval to set up the kingdom's first political party headed by an adventurer.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Counter-demon militia arrested three adventurers Thursday in the Year of the Toad suicide attacks on the Hightower Castle transit system, the first major development in the investigation in months. Two of the suspects were detained as they prepared to board a flight to the Desert of Krog.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.