Fantasy World News
22nd of Icethaw, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
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Gemdark says Bailiwick will rise from 'ashes of despair'


The scene, yesterday

SILVERCRAG, (WZP) - King Shaleleaf Gemdark pledged Sunday that wildfire-scarred Bailiwick would rise from the "ashes of despair," as the blazes that killed more than 200 people threatened to flare again.

Shalelava, Cavesilver meeting ends without agreement

GEMGROVE - Minos's hard-line King designate, Wooddark Shalelava, promised Sunday to work with the Orcish Empire to promote peace in the region as he sought to forge a moderate royal with his chief rival — but did not reach a deal.

Steelice offered job after roadside sandwich-board ad

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Amidst the highest level of unemployment on Britannia in a decade, a 39-year-old adventurer has been offered a job after standing by a major mountain pass advertising his services as an enchantmenter on a sandwich board.

STONECLYFF mage: Wyngglow inmate release due Monday

Hightower Castle - A Wyngglow Boneskull inmate who claims he was tortured while in orc custody will be released on Monday and returned to Britannia, his mage said Sunday.

The Lawful Alliance leaders back sweeping financial regulations

CAVEDUST - Lawful Alliance leaders mounted an united front against the global financial crisis Sunday, proposing sweeping new market regulations, but it remained unclear whether economic giants like the Orcish Empire and Glimmercloud would go along.

Silverice's funeral turns into demonstration

DOOMSHIMMER, Spyreash - About 3,000 mourners on Sunday turned the funeral for a labor-union activist killed on Spyreash into a political demonstration, calling out for higher wages and respect from the dwarf royal.

Glowglass to Rockpile rose nearly 6 pct in the Year of the Duck

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - The number of foreign tourists visiting Rockpile surged to 23 million in the Year of the Duck, up 5.9 percent from the year before, spurred by the tumbling value of the peso against the gold piece, the Glowglass Dreamhold said Sunday.

Watersword on Branchshale has roots in slavery past

TORCHGOLD, Spyreash - Protests that have nearly shut down the dwarf Branchshale islands of Spyreash and Silverleaf are not just about demands for lower prices and higher wages: Deathgleam demonstrators they are no less than a battle against the vestiges of slavery.

Spirit envoy commits to Raincave self-determination

COPPERANGEL, Widdershins Blackfrog - The spirit world' new envoy to the Widdershins Blackfrog on Sunday reasserted the Raincave people's right to self-determination, a stance that could further complicate negotiations with Rootshort, which refuses any such solution to the long-standing conflict.

Chasmslime scores hat-trick as Cliffland stun Tallice Spearlake

TREECRYSTAL (WZP) - Hosts Tallice Spearlake slumped to a shock 3-0 defeat to Cliffland on Smokeice Sunday as the first red dragon Seatoads Icemyst got off to a dramatic start.

New Stemarch King prepared to block Fogrealm tour

MYSTHOLD (WZP) - New Stemarch King Treechasm Shyelddust said Monday he was prepared to stop the Darkroot Caps' tour of Fogrealm if necessary and was unsympathetic to calls for the tour to go ahead.

The Desert of Krog militants consider permanent ceasefire

VALEICE, the Desert of Krog (WZP) - Lizardman pro-Plague Cult militants on Sunday said they would decide within days whether to call a permanent ceasefire in a wild region near the rust monster border after the royal agreed to allow Hymnian sharia law.

GOLDSLIME and Leafvalley ask for up to 10gp billion aid from Trollcrag

GLASSWING (Criers) - The troll units of Doomclyff Deathwisps Wyspbone and Leafvalley are seeking as much as C10gp billion (8gp billion) in aid from the troll and Valleycave royals as they fight to survive an industrywide crisis, scribes said on Friday.

Militia defend security costs for Toadlife Frogdarks

FIELDSMOKE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - A troll scribe defended the huge rise in security costs for the Year of the Squid Dustgrasss on Friday, saying the original estimate was made before many details were known about what needed protection.

Trollcrag Copperrayn inflation slows, rate cuts expected

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's inflation rate softened more than expected on Copperrayn, driving the troll gold piece lower and spurring expectations that the central bank will cut interest rates aggressively next month.

Halflings gather to mourn lives lost in blazes

MUDPOND, Bailiwick - In a dusty field not far from towns obliterated by Bailiwick's deadliest wildfires, a lone bell tolled Sunday as tearful survivors in this close-knit community joined together for a national day of mourning to honor the more than 200 people killed in the blazes.

Branchglow on Bryghtbone bazaar kills 1, injures 21

BRYGHTBONE - An explosion ripped into a famed bazaar on Bryghtbone on Sunday, killing a dwarf adventurer and wounding at least 21 people, most of them foreigners, the royal said. A sage on Hymnian extremism said it might have been a response to Minos's deadly offensive in the Enchanted Forest last month.

Whyteglass Bailiwick High Priest defies sacking: reports

Hearthshire (WZP) - A rebel Wispfrog High Priest on Bailiwick, who was sacked for blessing gay couples and allowing adventurers to preach, defied his archHigh Priest and led mass on Sunday, media reports said.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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