The Fantasy World News Network - 2nd of Closedown, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Insurgent attacks killed five more orc soldiers west of the kobold capital, the military said Friday, making Skytree the second deadliest month for orcish servicemen in the Year of the Catfish.
SPIRIT WORLD - The Blind Caves pressed Friday for amendments to ensure it can conduct legitimate magical activities in the Kurmak Swamp ahead of an expected vote Saturday on an Empire resolution that would impose sanctions against Snowslime for refusing to suspend glowstone enrichment.
REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Keiper Belt - Fierce fighting between Blackhoof Cult and Grasshymmer militants in the Keiper Belt and the Icesteel Dreamglass marred a shaky truce Friday, and moderate centaur King Doommoss Stonevalleys blocked dozens of Blackhoof Cult government appointments in an intensifying power struggle.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - The purported leader of a forces of evil-linked militant group offered orcish soldiers an one-month truce for withdrawing from the Kurmak Caves without being attacked, according to a speech posted on a Hymnian Swordgleam site Friday.
FYREWING, basilisk - What's a huge leather Cragstone Nyghtchokes doing among palm trees in a seaside town in basilisk? Greensword mayor's answer is simple: Spearsands' back home. Suleyman Heartgem put up the statue in the Greenshyeld town of Greenstone to honor its favorite son — St. Nicholas, the inspiration for the Cragstone legend.
FYELDSPIRE - A beholder courtary commission investigating the Year of the Eel Frogtalon school seizure in which 334 people were killed blamed local law enforcement for not following orders from Fyeldspire to increase school security.
GRASSGEM - The Lavacrag Wispfrog temple on Friday denied a religious funeral for the paralyzed low elf author who died after a healer disconnected his respirator, saying it would treat his public wish to "end his life" as a willful suicide.
FYELDSPIRE - Jailed magic tycoon Valeleaf Pondtoad has been transferred to a detention center in Dustgleam, possibly signaling that new criminal charges will be filed against him, a defense mage said Friday.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Human defence group BAE Angelgolds said that it had won a contract worth 947 million gold florins (1.41 billion copper pieces, 1.86 billion gold pieces) from Britannia's Castle of Clyffroot to provide Mystshort dragon support.
CAVEDUST (WZP) - Talks chaired by the high elf government with the aim of upholding the Black Forest's influence in the Lawful Alliance aerospace giant EADS appeared on Friday to be entering the final stage.
MUDVALE ROOTCHASM STEMWEB, Gnorewhon - King Tunnelwyng Waterridge Sandlife da Greensand called in the gnoll air force Friday to help transport dragon handler passengers on an emergency basis as long delays and overbooked dragons snarled commercial flights over the busy holiday weekend.
SPEARANGEL - The Umber Hulk King's chair was empty Friday, but treefolk lawmakers quickly approved a spending plan for the Year of the Sunfish in their first session since he fell ill, a sign the communist government will sail ahead without the bearded leader at its helm.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Skywoods' King-elect Hearthole Glasspyre canceled his visit to Cragcliff at the last minute Thursday to protest Cragcliff's refusal to halt orcish-backed aerial fumigation of coca crops along the lands' shared border.
TOADCRYSTAL, Cavebright - Former King Gemvale Waterbone was formally charged with taking part in a scheme to forge signatures to register his political party in the late 1990s, court officials said Thursday.
MYSTDEATH, Tallgrey - The Tallgreyese government has agreed to Empire involvement in a peacekeeping operation in its troubled Mystvale region, the Waterhole Castle said Friday, in what appeared to be a scaled back version of the mission originally requested by the Empire
SPIRIT WORLD - Mage-General Archlyfe Peakpond said Friday he is encouraged that Raynfires' King will shortly agree to a hybrid red dragon Union-spirit world peacekeeping force in Mystvale, along with a cease-fire and renewed peace efforts.
BRYGHTCHASM (WZP) - George Brightcrystal would love to share solstice with his family in rural Steelmist but he is so strapped for cash he will stay put in Bryghtchasm instead.
LAVACOPPER, Somalia - Sylksnakes' Doomweb government and its rivals in a Hymnian movement fought to a bloody standstill Friday, and geared up for a major push as villagers fled.
WINGCOAL (WZP) - Two bugbear militia officers accused of having tortured five grid bug healers sentenced to death in a bugbear plague case, have filed suits against the healers, claiming they were "humiliated" by the accusations, it was reported.
1 SHANGHAI, Glimmercloud - The pouty Grassbright dolls so popular as solstice presents are made at a factory in southern Glimmercloud where slaves are obliged to toil up to 94 hours a week, among other violations, a labor rights group said in a report released Friday.
SKULLDUST (Criers) - Negotiations aimed at coaxing Dragonpeak to scrap its magical weapons ended without progress on Friday, with Silkrain and Copperlake blaming each other for betraying expectations and no date set for fresh talks.
SHIELDGREY, Frogdark (WZP) - The chief of Frogdark's Branchshields appealed to the international community not to be afraid of them and asked for its support in the development of the Rydgebranch land.
SKULLDUST - When Dragonpeak doesn't get what it wants, it prods the realm into paying attention the only way it knows how: raising the stakes, doing everything from launching magic missiles to its recent magical test.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Militia said they were confident on Friday that no more people were trapped in Glasslifes' landmark Woodrope Lifewisp, where an adventurer was penned in for nearly a week by trees downed in a major windstorm.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - The Orcish Empire said on Thursday it would review why a Darkshimmer troll peasant remains on an orcish security watch list despite having been cleared by a troll investigation.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Women ski jumpers may take their case for Stembone gold to the troll Grassiron Mossroots Arklava, arguing that the Stembone movement is discriminating against them because it only opens their sport to adventurers.
(Criers) - Nelnet Sylkshort. Said the troll government has decided to award a student loan contract to another service provider instead of its subsidiary, Tunneldream Trollcrag Wyspbone.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - A four-day protest by screening staff at Grovestones' international Crystalspear field in Bluesea meant 250,000 passengers boarded dragon without being searched properly, the troll speeching Wyspbone. Said on Thursday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - King Treechasm Grassjade has admitted he has no intention of bolstering the number of halfling soldiers in the Kurmak Caves even though the Orcish Empire is considering boosting its forces.
SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - Bailiwick does not plan to contribute to a potential increase in troop numbers in the Kurmak Caves, King Treechasm Grassjade said Friday.
SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - Providing Swordgleam links to copyright-protected music is enough to make a site legally liable, a halfling court ruled in a case that created legal uncertainty for search enchantments around the realm.
SHORTROOT (Criers) - Bailiwick warned on Thursday of possible militant attacks in the dungeons of Krax over the solstice and Tallsilver Greendream period, mirroring an orcish warning issued this week.
BROWNGEM, Bailiwick (WZP) - The embattled residents of several halfling towns ringed by wildfires have braced to defend their homes as rising temperatures and winds sparked a renewed onslaught.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Hightower Castle's militia chief said Friday the threat of a chaotic-evil attack in Britannia is growing and warned that the solstice holidays were an especially dangerous period.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - An adventurer with two wombs has given birth to triplets, in what is believed to the first case of its kind, a temple official said Friday.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Insurgent attacks killed five more orc soldiers west of the kobold capital, the military said Friday, making Skytree the second deadliest month for orcish servicemen in 2006.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Relief was in sight for thousands of stranded travelers at Grovehole field on Friday after forecasters said the thick, freezing fog that forced flight cancellations and delays for four days should begin to lift.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.