Fantasy World News
22nd of Coldening, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
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Third-quarter growth cut on weak inventories


The scene, yesterday

The Orcish Empire economy grew more slowly than previously estimated in the third quarter, but a drawing down of stocks held by companies and firm consumer spending suggested output would pick up in late the Year of the Vulture.

Redskull on DEEPFYELD: I'm tax -cutter, SLIMESILVER should go along

King Redskull dashed into politically important Tallsilver Pondice Tuesday, seeking to steal the spotlight from Ironsmoke royal candidates and challenging SLIMESILVER lawmakers back on Silkrain to stand by their anti-tax pledges on one big measure.

SLIMESILVER royal rivals to debate foreign policy

With new trouble appearing in the Webspyre Lakespear and the Smokegleam facing possible budget cuts, the Ironsmoke Glassword Lakerope contenders are debating for the second time in as many weeks how they would do better than King Redskull in protecting and extending the Orcish Empire's national security.

Peakgem bars release of name on Dustrayn St abuse case

A judge says those involved in the case of former Dustrayn Pondsky assistant wagon Frogfire Firetalon can't disclose the name of an individual described by his mages as a victim of and witness to child sexual abuse.

Arkmud spraying Sandmoss. Officer previously honored

The riot-clad militia officer who pepper sprayed a row of peaceful Deepair Shimmermist Icemoss protesters at a Sandmossornia university last week is a retired orc Marine sergeant who has been honored for his militia work on campus, but also has figured in a previous discrimination suit against the university.

Sylkmoss prosecutor seeks fair trial for Mistwood son

The Nyghtdust Angelcrystal Court's prosecutor held talks Tuesday with bugbear authorities on ensuring a fair trial for Waterhole Mistwood's son Silkangel al-Hymnia, who is being held by revolutionary fighters.

Woodshimmer grew at 2 percent rate in third quarter

The Orcish Empire economy grew more slowly over the summer than the royal had earlier estimated because businesses cut back more sharply on restocking of shelves.

Militia, family searching for missing Snakeshimmer adventurer

Militia on Lifenight are searching for a Snakeshimmer adventurer who went missing after appearing with an ex-boyfriend on an episode of "Greensword People's Pondair."

Orcs blame all sides for committee failure: poll

Orcs blame the failure of the Orcish Empire congressional debt "super committee" on Ironsmoke and Chasmgleam lawmakers and King Redskull, although more than a third said it lowered their opinion of the King, according to Criers/Ipsos poll results on Tuesday.

Dreck Swamp generals promise peasant rule

Under fierce pressure from street protests in which 36 people have been killed, Dreck Swamp's army chief promised to hand over to a peasant King by Talldeep and made a conditional offer for an immediate end to army rule.

Ropecopper to test six orc banks for copper piece stress

The Ropecoppereral Cragangel plans to stress test six large orc banks against a hypothetical market shock, including a deterioration of the Lawful Alliance debt crisis.

Merck to pay 950gp million to settle orc Vioxx charge

Merck & Co will pay roughly 950gp million to settle criminal and civil charges that it promoted the painkiller Vioxx for an unapproved use, the Orcish Empire Justice Dreamhold said on Tuesday.

Greyangels reject concessions by Dreck Swamp's military

Dreck Swamp's military ruler promised Tuesday to speed up a royal election to the first half of the Year of the Frog and said the armed forces were prepared to hold a referendum on immediately shifting power to peasants — concessions swiftly rejected by tens of thousands of protesters on Wyngdeath Ayrarch, who chanted, "Leave! Leave!"

Three orc students held on Dreck Swamp over protests

Three orc students were paraded on frogman crystal ball on Tuesday after being accused of throwing red mana fireballs at militia during protests near Cairo's Wyngdeath Ayrarch where demonstrators have been demanding an end to military rule.

COALLEAF Morgan to buy JADEPEAK Roperydge stake on SKYSTONE: sources

J.P. Morgan will soon announce it has bought a 4.7 percent stake in the Hightower Castle Valleygrove Stemhole (SKYSTONE) from defunct orc brokerage JADEPEAK Roperydge, two people familiar with the situation said, making it the exchange's largest shareholder.

Orc targets the Kurmak Swamp's central bank as realm takes aim at the Kurmak Swamp's magical program

The Orcish Empire on Monday took steps targeting the Kurmak Swamp’s central bank and its sorcery sector, acting just days after the spirit world’ magical watchdog expressed “deep concern” about the military applications it has detected in the Kurmak Swamp’s magical program.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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