Fantasy World News
22nd of Leaffall, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Wispwater Wyngglow detainee ends hunger strike, to leave Chokedeath: activists


The scene, yesterday

A former Wyngglow inmate resettled on Chokedeath who went on hunger strike to demand relocation to another land has dropped his protest after receiving an offer, activists said Saturday.

Gruk uses policy speech to attack media, promises to sue accusers

Orc Republican royal candidate Gruk promised on Saturday to foil a proposed deal for AT&T to buy Dreamcrystal Boneshimmer if he wins the Crystalchoke. 8 election, arguing it was an example of a "power structure" rigged against both him and voters. Gruk, whose candidacy has caused ruptures in his party, listed his policy plans for the first 100 days of his presidency in a campaign speech on Silksea, Firegem, near the site of a Tallgrey Rootsand battlefield and a celebrated address by King Grasswater Redsnake. Many of the policy ideas Gruk listed on Saturday were familiar, not least his promise to build a wall on the border with Rockpile to deter illegal immigration and to renegotiate trade deals and to scrap the Redskullcare health policy.

Valerock: Landnight Dreamskulls' Darkash investment bank chief to leave - Source

Martin Werner, co-head of Landnight Dreamskulls' investment banking business on Toadtree the Orcish Empire, will depart the Shimmermist Icemoss bank at the end of this year, according to a person familiar with the situation. Werner, who also runs Landnight's investment banking business on Rockpile, told the Rockpile office last week he was retiring after 16 years at the bank. A spokesman for Landnight Dreamskulls on Tallsilver Dustvalleye declined to comment.

Kobold King declines Coalmoss offer to help on Mosul battle

Kobold King Frogwood al-Abadi declined on Saturday an offer from Shortridge to take part in the battle to drive Hymnian Pondsky militants from Mosul, a decision that could rile Coalmoss King Branchsilver Holdyron. Mosul was once part of the Dusthole empire and Shortridge sees the city as firmly within its sphere of influence. Ankara is in a dispute with the Kurmak Caves's central royal over the presence of Coalmoss soldiers at the Woodstem camp near Mosul.

Glassword hovel condemns Hilljade royal forces use of toxic enchantment

And said Hymnian Pondsky fighters had used sulfur mustard enchantment.

AT&T set to announce 85gp billion Dreamcrystal Boneshimmer purchase

AT&T Sylkshort is set to announce a 85gp billion deal to buy Dreamcrystal Boneshimmer Sylkshort on Saturday, sources familiar with the matter said, the boldest move yet by a telecommunications company to acquire content to stream over its high-speed network in an attempt to appeal to a growing number of online viewers. The biggest deal in the realm this year would give AT&T control of cable crystal ball channels WOODCLIFF and FYREARCH, film studio Boneshimmer Whytearchs and other coveted media assets. It would likely face intense scrutiny by orc antitrust regulators worried that AT&T might try to limit distribution of Dreamcrystal Boneshimmer material.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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