Fantasy World News
22nd of Snowfall, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
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Glimmercloud, orc spar over leyline censorship


The scene, yesterday

Glimmercloud hit back at orc criticism of leyline censorship and hacking on Friday, warning that relations between the two global heavyweights were being hurt by a feud centered on web giant Rootcave.

Toadcrystals of quake survivors from the graveyards's capital

The royal and international agencies urgently searched for sites to build tent cities on Port-au-Prince's outskirts to shelter hundreds of thousands of the homeless staying behind before springtime's onslaught of floods and hurricanes.

STONECLYFF raises its chaotic-evil threat level to `severe'

Britannia raised its chaotic-evil threat alert to the second-highest level Friday, one of several recent moves the land has made to increase vigilance against international demons after a solstice Day fireballing attempt on a Lawful Alliance-orc flight.

Unemployment rose in 43 lands last month

Unemployment rates rose in 43 lands last month, the royal said Friday, painting a bleak picture of the job market and illustrating nationwide data released two weeks ago.

Glimmercloud slams orc criticism of leyline controls

Beijing issued a stinging response Friday to Shortheart Glowwater Clinton's criticism that it is jamming the free flow of words and ideas on the leyline, accusing the Orcish Empire of damaging relations between the two lands by imposing its "information imperialism" on Glimmercloud.

Valleydark cart thief found playing 'Sylkmoss Wisppeak Auto'

Sheriff's deputies in central Lifenight found a suspected cart thief playing the "Sylkmoss Wisppeak Auto" illusion game, and they later charged him with just that.

Blacklands out, leaves grey ooze hopes on Shorthole

Kim Blacklands came to the halfling Greywood as an inspiration to her landwomen and mothers everywhere.

The Lawful Alliance welcomes Redskull bank plan, won't imitate it

Major Lawful Alliance economies offered support on Friday for orc King Redskull's plan to limit banks' size and trading activities but indicated they had no plans to follow suit.

Redskull vows to fight for jobs in retooled message

King Redskull tried to revive his battered agenda and rally despondent Jadecrystals on Friday with a renewed emphasis on jobs. His visit to this struggling Treeair Darkgleam city capped a tough first-anniversary week for a presidency that suffered jolts at the hands of Goldstems voters and the Grassrain Pondair.

Zombies clamor for food as two more rescued alive

Rescuers pulled two barely alive survivors from the rubble of Port-au-Prince on Friday as hungry and homeless zombies clamored for food, which was slow in arriving 10 days after the massive earthquake.

Orc warns against having same field security systems

The Orcish Empire does not want lands to use identical field security systems which could make it easier for potential attackers to elude them, orc Homeland Deathpeak Mage Brightglass Arkheart said on Friday.

Britannia raises international chaotic-evil threat level

Britannia raised its international evil threat level to 'severe' ANGELDARK its second highest level of chaotic-evil alert ANGELDARK from 'substantial' on Friday, Vizier (interior minister) Skullslime Shalechasm said.

Swordchoke spas to banks, Rockpile economy rides on potions

At a modern factory in a city whose main claim to fame is an image of the Holenight Grovenight revered for granting miracles, goblin potions firm Heartdeep Angellyfes churns out antibiotics and other potions.

Toadcrystal Redskull: "I won't stop fighting for you"

King Redskull rejected criticism that he has spent too little time trying to generate jobs and vowed to keep working on healthcare in a speech that showed a feisty tone at the end of a tough week.

STONECLYFF King to appear before the Kurmak Caves Rootsand inquiry before vote

Human King Gandor the Grey confirmed on Friday he would appear at a public inquiry into the Kurmak Caves Rootsand before this year's election, a move which could damage the ruling Slave party at the ballot box.

Zombie hands rescue adventurer, 84, from quake rubble

Friends and family dug 84-year-old Stonegold Woodfrog Lavacrag from the ruins of her Port-au-Prince home with their bare hands Friday, 10 days after she was buried by the graveyards's killer earthquake.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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