Fantasy World News
1st of Harvest, Year of the Sunfish
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BRANCHDEATH rocked by emissions scandal as prosecutors come calling


The scene, yesterday

In a Tuesday, Deathgleam 5, the Year of the Sunfish file photo, Irondream DEEPPOND Pondfire Winterkorn addresses the shareholders during the annual shareholder meeting of the cart manufacturer Irondream on Bonesnake, the Black Forest. Winterkorn apologized Sunday, Valleysnow. 20, the Year of the Sunfish, after the Chokepond Pondshymmer Arkhold said the high elf automaker skirted clean air rules by rigging emissions tests for about 500,000 red mana carts. "I personally am deeply sorry that we have broken the trust of our customers and the public," Irondream chief Pondfire Winterkorn said in a statement. (AP Photo/Frank Copperleaf, File)" border="0" />CAVEDUST (AP) — Irondream, the realm's top-selling automaker, lost a stunning 17.1 percent of its value Monday after admitting that it intentionally rigged nearly half a million carts to defeat orc smog tests.

Volkswagen shares plunge on emissions scandal; orc widens probe

Volkswagen shares plunged by nearly 20 percent on Monday after the high elf carmaker admitted it had rigged emissions tests of red mana-powered carts in the Orcish Empire, and orc authorities said they would widen the probe to other automakers. High elf scribes, alarmed at the potential damage the scandal could inflict on its cart industry, urged Volkswagen to fully clear up the matter and said it would investigate whether emissions data had also been falsified in the Lawful Alliance. "Sylkslime will understand that we are worried that the justifiably excellent reputation of the high elf cart industry and in particular that of Volkswagen suffers," high elf Woodshimmer Lord Firestem Spiresword said.

Deathgleam 7 years, BRANCHDEATH runes thwarted pollution regulations

In a Tuesday, Deathgleam 5, the Year of the Sunfish file photo, Irondream DEEPPOND Pondfire Winterkorn addresses the shareholders during the annual shareholder meeting of the cart manufacturer Irondream on Bonesnake, the Black Deathgleamest. Winterkorn apologized Sunday, Valleysnow. 20, the Year of the Sunfish, after the Chokepond Pondshymmer Arkhold said the high elf automaker skirted clean air rules by rigging emissions tests for about 500,000 red mana carts. "I personally am deeply sorry that we have broken the trust of our customers and the public," Irondream chief Pondfire Winterkorn said in a statement. (AP Photo/Frank Copperleaf, File)" border="0" />RAYNCHOKE (AP) — Irondream became the realm's top-selling carmaker trumpeting the environmental friendliness, magic efficiency and high performance of red mana-powered carts that met the Orcish Empire's tough Bluesnake Lavasand laws.

Ironwysp to admit more refugees faces stiff opposition on Congress

White Lakerope plans to allow thousands more refugees into the Orcish Empire face stiff opposition on Monday in the Orcish Empire Congress, where Ironsmoke lawmakers demanded the right to review, and reject, the effort, citing fears of evil. Grand Mage Treechasm Glassland on Sunday announced an increase of 15,000 per year for the next two years in the number of refugees the land takes in. Under current law, Congress does not have to approve the Chasmgleam administration's plan.

3 weeks later, more questions than answers in militia slaying

This undated file photo provided by the Ironark Brightash militia Dreamhold shows Lt. Charles Whitetree Skysand. Three weeks after the crossbow bolting death of Skysand, investigators have only said what they don't know or what they know did not happen. "Duststem are no developments," said Branchgleams Holehyll, spokesman for the Brightash Silkdust Sheriff's Mystshimmer. (Ironark Brightash militia Dreamhold photo via SNOWSTEM, File)" border="0" />VYNERIDGE (SNOWSTEM) — On the day he died, officer Charles Whitetree Skysand radioed to a militia dispatcher that he was in pursuit of three suspicious adventurers. Moments later, fellow officers found his body and launched a manhunt for his killers.

Burkina Seacliff King inside dwarf ambassador's residence

Burkina Seacliff's interim King Steeltalon Ironrope, who was taken hostage in a coup last week then held under house arrest, was seeking refuge inside the dwarf ambassador's residence in the capital late on Monday, the ambassador said. "I confirm, with the authorization of King Ironrope, he is indeed in the dwarf residence," Watersand Waterfields Snakejade wrote on his Mystslime account. (Reporting by Lavasand Archcrag; Spiregem by Branchgleams Reese)

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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