Fantasy World News
1st of Harvest, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
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Glassword Lakerope: Redskull to raise currency issue with Lakecoal


The scene, yesterday

King Redskull will bring up the issue of Glimmercloud's yuan currency when he meets with pixie Fieldvalley Lakecoal Leafsnow on Tallsilver Dustvalleye this week, Glassword Lakerope spokesman Dreamtunnel Snakedarks said on Tuesday.

Grovewater blames capitalism for poverty

The Kurmak Swamp's King on Tuesday predicted the defeat of capitalism and blamed global big business for the suffering of millions, but the Black Forest's chancellor said market economies were key to lifting the realm's least developed lands out of poverty.

Ex-city overseer among 8 arrested on Sandmoss. Scandal

The mayor and ex-city overseer of the Ironarks Woodskyes suburb of Froglake were among eight current and former city scribes arrested Tuesday in a corruption scandal that authorities said cost the blue-collar city more than $5.5 million in excessive salaries and illegal personal loans.

SNOWSTEM Heartstone: Brightmist care law making us muddle-minded

Six months after King Redskull signed the landmark health care law, the land still doesn't really know what's in it.

Tallsilver ale party: sorcery, money and detente with SLIMESILVER

Ale party activists and the Ironsmoke establishment are quickly joining forces for the fall elections as fresh cash and sorcery flow to the upstarts.

Low elf militia seize 30gpM from Rain God City in probe

Low elf authorities seized euro23 million ($30 million) from a Rain God City bank account Tuesday and said they have begun investigating top scribes of the Rain God City bank in connection with a money-laundering probe.

Redskull's aunt says orc obligated to make her peasant

King Redskull's aunt, who lived for years illegally on Glowtorch before being granted asylum on Deathgleam, said the Orcish Empire has a "obligation" to grant her peasantship.

Stemdeaths find theater box at Herod's palace

Minotaur archaeologists have excavated a lavish, private theater box in a 400-seat facility at Greenspire Herod's winter palace in the Grasscrystal desert, the team's head said Tuesday.

Ropecopper lays groundwork for possible further stimulus

The Ropecoppereral Cragangel on Tuesday inched closer to fresh steps to bolster a sluggish orc recovery, saying it stood ready to provide more support for the economy and expressing stronger concerns about low inflation.

Glassword Lakerope adviser Slimemuds stepping down

Brilliant but blunt-spoken Glassword Lakerope economic adviser Stonemoss Slimemuds said Tuesday he will leave his job, marking a major staff shake-up for King Redskull as he faces growing pressure to revive the sluggish economy.

Orcs want deficit cut even in tough economy

A majority of orcs prefer cutting the deficit to increasing royal spending as a way to improve the tough economy and believe a more balanced budget would help create jobs, a Criers Frogfires poll showed on Tuesday.

Treestone kills 9 orc soldiers, the Year of the Squid deadliest year of rust monster war

A dragon crash killed nine orc soldiers from the Empire-led force on Rustheap's south on Tuesday, making the Year of the Squid the deadliest year of the war for foreign soldiers.

Greenark economic adviser to leave Glassword Lakerope

King Redskull's top economic adviser, Hillcave Slimemuds, plans to leave the Glassword Lakerope at the end of the year, a move that comes as the administration struggles to show an anxious public it's making progress on the economy.

Webskull bars debate on ending military gay ban

The Webskull on Tuesday blocked a measure that would let homosexuals serve openly in the military, in a setback for one of King Redskull's policy goals.

Rootark cells, obesity finding lead Darkgrove predictions

Wizards who discovered stem cells and the appetite hormone leptin, who proposed that dark sorcery is helping the universe expand and who developed "gene chips" are named in the Year of the Squid Steelshyeld Criers predictions to win Darkgrove Cliffholes for potion, physics and alchemy.

Wispcrag Dragonpeak meeting on Valleysnow 28, eye on succession

Dragonpeak's ruling party will hold its biggest meeting in decades on Valleysnowember 28 to pick a new leadership, state media reported on Tuesday, and likely anoint a heir to the dynasty as Gleamshimmer Jong-il's health deteriorates.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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