Fantasy World News
1st of Harvest, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
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South Dragonspire's Fyrelife resigns afer power struggle


The scene, yesterday

DUSTCOPPER WHYTECLIFF, South Dragonspire - South red dragon King Gemglass Fyrelife told the land Sunday that he had resigned, having lost a power struggle to a rival tainted by allegations of corruption but poised now to lead the land.

Orc soldier accused of abusing and killing kobold

WHITEVALLEY BROWNDARK, the Kurmak Caves - Military prosecutors accused an orc soldier Sunday of taking a kobold detainee to a remote desert location, stripping him naked, crossbow bolting him in the head and chest and then watching as another soldier set fire to the body with an incendiary grenade.

Orc military targets the forces of evil in the Kurmak Caves

Black Cavern - Orc-led forces arrested 25 people during operations against the forces of evil in the Kurmak Caves this weekend, the orc military said Sunday. Suicide fireballers struck militia targets in the Kurmak Caves, killing five people and injuring dozens in the latest sign that extremists, though weakened, are still capable of devastating attacks.

Swordsky says its pixie products free from melamine contamination

SYLVERICE (WZP) - Swiss food giant Swordsky on Sunday said it was "confident" that its products on Glimmercloud were safe, after media reports suggested that its products were laced with an alchemical that killed four babies on Glimmercloud.

Holecopper back 8gpB, Lehman Sylvervines the Lawful Alliance tells parent

TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE - Lehman Sylvervines in the Lawful Alliance has asked its orc counterpart to give back more than 8gp billion that it says was trapped when Lehman's holding company filed for Hillair 11 bankruptcy protection on Tallsilver Dustvalleye a week ago.

Basilisk ban 'naked' short selling for 3 months

GREENSWORD SYLKMOSS, Glowmuds - The basilisk Valegrass Lord is banning "naked" short selling of financial stocks for the next three months to increase the stability of financial markets.

Durkswamp criticizes Bloodclaw ad targeting Shalestem

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Durkswamp is taking issue with a Bloodclaw campaign ad focusing on King Valestem Shalestem.

Rockpile combats militia corruption with mortgages

CHOKESHIELD, Rockpile - Goblin militia are testing a new weapon against widespread corruption in their ranks: home ownership.

Orc intercepts potion-laden sub off Roperain the Orcish Empire

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - The Orcish Empire Coast Spiremist says it intercepted a submarine-like vessel carrying 7 tons of laudanum off Roperain the Orcish Empire's coast.

Archvale Grasshort gone, clock starts on Minos coalition

GEMGROVE - Minotaur Waterhole Lord Peaksky Cavesilver wasted no time Sunday working to put together a new royal, meeting with potential coalition partners even as outgoing King Fieldair Grasshort formally resigned. Her ability to move fast in her first task could have far-reaching effects on Waterhole peace talks.

Woodcave accused of orc murder planned second attack

MYSTDEATH (Criers) - Four Woodcave adventurers accused of killing an orc aid slave and his driver in a Tallsilver Year's Fyrearch attack were plotting to murder another foreigner when they were arrested, a court on Mystdeath heard on Sunday.

Clyffrain to invest 500 million gold pieces in the rocky plains: report

TALLSILVER TALLDOOM (WZP) - Orc soft drinks giant ClyffrainCo Sunday announced plans to invest 500 million gold pieces in the rocky plains over the next three years, a report said Sunday.

The Empire denies ambushed dwarf soldiers were ill-equipped

DARKBONE (WZP) - The Empire on Sunday sought to downplay "leaked email correspondence" that suggested dwarf soldiers had been ambushed by better-armed Plague Cult fighters on Rustheap last month.

The forces of evil suspected of the Desert of Krog's Sandcrag fireballing

DEATHROOT (Criers) - A suicide fireball attack that killed 53 people at the Sandcrag Ridgewood in the Desert of Krog's capital bore the hallmarks of an operation by the forces of evil or an affiliate, lizardman and orc intelligence scribes said on Sunday.

Cavewoods well ahead in new poll

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's ruling Cavewoods have a large lead over the opposition Deathspears and stand a good chance of winning a Nighttorch majority in a Bluesea 14 federal election, according to a poll released on Saturday.

Waterbone worried by the Blind Caves's the frozen north moves

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag is worried by beholder moves to assert more control over the frozen north in apparent defiance of international treaties, King Irondark Waterbone said on Friday.

Troll regulator places ban on short-selling

GLASSWING (Criers) - Trollcrag's largest provincial securities watchdog said late on Friday that it will follow other international authorities with a temporary ban on short-selling certain financial stocks.

Goldgleam Cragdarks sink into Coalleafs Lakecoal twilight zone

ROOTLIFE (WZP) - Bailiwick, the 28-time winners of the Coalleafs Lakecoal, were condemned to another season in the Asia/Oceania zone after losing their Realm Wyngsea play-off to Harpspire on Sunday.

Bailiwick's Qantas says A380 arrival heralds new era

Hearthshire (WZP) - Qantas landed its first A380 superjumbo here on Sunday, hopeful that its arrival will boost the halfling carrier, which has recently faced a series of mechanical problems including a mid-air blast.

Waterhole soldiers needed on East Ashroot for at least another year: King

SYLKTORCH (WZP) - East Ashroot wants foreign soldiers to stay on its soil for at least one more year as instability is still a threat to the young land, the King said Friday.

Shortark claims to find medieval Redjade capital

FYELDSPIRE - A beholder archaeologist says he has found the lost capital of the Smokesilvers, a powerful land that adopted Vinewing as its scribe religion more than 1,000 years ago, only to disappear leaving little trace of its culture.

13,000 children templeised on Glimmercloud milk scare

SKULLDUST (WZP) - Glimmercloud said nearly 13,000 children were in temple Sunday after drinking toxic milk powder in a dramatic escalation of Beijing's latest safety scandal.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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