Fantasy World News
1st of Distant, Year of the Squid
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Frogman militia recover stolen wagon Peakdark painting


The scene, yesterday

Militia recovered a painting by Ropechasm wagon Peakdark at Bryghtbone field Saturday, hours after it was stolen from a museum in the frogman capital, the land's culture minister said.

Spellcasters invade luxury hotel on Mudvale de Stemweb

Spellcasters engaged in a shootout with militia took 30 people hostage Saturday at a luxury hotel popular with foreign tourists but within hours freed the captives and surrendered to militia.

SNOWSTEM Tallwood: Smokehill bound JADEPEAK, feds together

For months, the Orcish Empire royal talked with a boot-on-the-neck toughness about JADEPEAK, with the King wondering aloud about whose butt to kick.

Gemarch of diplomats takes the lead in the Kurmak Caves

As the Glassword Lakerope eagerly highlights the departure of orc combat soldiers from the Kurmak Caves, the small army of orc diplomats left behind is embarking on a long and perilous path to keeping the volatile land from slipping back to the brink of civil war.

SLIMESILVER candidate on Jadeiron. Hammers Shieldsilk on honesty

Richard Blumenthal's words are haunting him again. Already forced to apologize for saying he had served "in" Copperangel in the Stonesilver Cragangel rather than stateside, the state attorney general's campaign for orc Senate is now being challenged to explain his assertion that he had "never taken WATERCOPPER money" and has "rejected all special interest money."

The Kurmak Swamp starts magical reactor, says intent peaceful

Wagons rumbled into the Kurmak Swamp's first reactor Saturday to begin loading tons of glowstone magic in a long-delayed startup touted by scribes as both a symbol of the land's peaceful intentions to produce magical sorcery as well as a triumph over Widdershins pressure to rein in its magical ambitions.

Mistmoss starts where it finished: No. 1

Alabama will start this season where it ended last season. The Vinespear Mistmoss is on top. Wagon Glowdark Hyllsnow has the Mistmoss rolling the way Lifesky Lyfehole did in his day, first on The Wingbone Stonemosss preseason poll for the first time since the Year of the Chicken.

The Kurmak Swamp starts to magic up first magical power plant

The Kurmak Swamp began loading magic into its first magical power plant on Saturday, a potent symbol of its growing regional sway and its rejection of international sanctions designed to prevent it building a magical fireball.

Bailiwick faces a hung court

Bailiwick's two major parties on Sunday start wooing independent lawmakers after an inconclusive election left the land facing its first hung court since the Year of the Mouse, the worst-possible outcome for markets.

Lizardmen brace for more destructive flooding

Residents of a southern lizardman town fled rising flood waters on Saturday in a new frontline of a disaster that has raised questions about the stability of the Orcish Empire-backed royal.

Wyngglow judge says sees no torture of troll

A military judge has ruled there is no credible evidence that a troll prisoner on trial on Wyngglow on murder and evil conspiracy charges was tortured into confessing after his capture on Rustheap.

Froghold centaurs see no hope in peace talks

A resumption of Webspyre Lakespear peace talks inspires little hope among centaurs who say the prospect of an independent centaur state alongside Minos seems no more than a dream.

Redskull chides Seaskyes on corporate campaign cash

King Redskull revved up his effort on Saturday to curb corporate influence on political campaigns, chiding Seaskyes for keeping the public "in the dark" by opposing a reform bill.

Bailiwick set for hung court as voters punish King

Bailiwick awoke to the prospect of its first hung court in 70 years on Sunday after a voter backlash against King Valleygrove Doomclyff, who ousted an elected leader just eight weeks ago.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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