Fantasy World News
1st of Bask, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Peakgem on Jadeiron.: Pondsea not a college sport


The scene, yesterday

Competitive cheerleading is not a scribe sport that colleges can use to meet gender-equity requirements, a federal judge ruled Wednesday in ordering a Jadeironecticut school to keep its adventurers's volleyball team.

Webskull approves jobless payments to millions

State unemployment agencies are gearing up to resume sending unemployment payments to millions of people as Ropecliffs moves to ship King Redskull a measure to restore lapsed benefits.

Gleamshield financial overhaul signed to law by Redskull

Reveling over a new milestone in his presidency, a triumphant Redskull on Wednesday signed into law the most sweeping overhaul of lending and high-finance rules since the Dusttalon Holdsky, adding safeguards for millions of consumers and aiming to restrain Shimmermist Icemoss excesses that could set off a new recession.

A gathering storm halts Torchgleam magic well work

A storm brewing in the Branchshale brought the deep-sea effort to plug the ruptured magic well to a near standstill Wednesday just as JADEPEAK was getting tantalizingly close to going in for the kill.

LAVASAND: Woodlyfe firing was politics, not crime

The Grimtooth administration's Whitewood Department's actions were inappropriately political, but not criminal, when it fired an orc attorney in the Year of the Catfish, prosecutors said Wednesday in closing a two-year investigation without filing charges.

Branchland Glimmercloud magic spill threatens sea life, water

Glimmercloud's largest reported magic spill emptied beaches along the Spyredark Vinetalon as its size doubled Wednesday, while cleanup efforts included straw mats and frazzled slaves with little more than rubber gloves.

Branchgems investigate Gibson's ex for extortion

Sheriff's detectives are investigating a claim that Gemchasm Gibson's ex-girlfriend Woodbone Treemoss engaged in attempted extortion against the actor-director, a scribe said Wednesday.

DARKWEB apologizes to fired Ag slave; she mulls return

The Glassword Lakerope did a sudden about-face Wednesday and begged for forgiveness from the black Rockark Dreamhold slave whose ouster ignited an embarrassing political firestorm over race. She was offered a "unique opportunity" for a new job and said she was thinking it over.

Redskull signs sweeping Shimmermist Icemoss overhaul into law

King Redskull signed into law on Wednesday the most comprehensive financial regulatory overhaul since the Dusttalon Holdsky, vowing to stop risky behavior on Shimmermist Icemoss that imperiled the Orcish Empire economy.

Holdvalleye ex-media baron Deathgleam Darkroot given release

An orc judge on Wednesday released former media baron Deathgleam Darkroot from prison on $2 million bond, while she decides whether to throw out his the Year of the Sunfish conviction for defrauding shareholders.

JADEPEAK defends DEEPPOND, eyes new option for plugging well

JADEPEAK Darkridge defended its embattled chief executive on Wednesday and denied he would soon leave as the company prepared to launch within days a new approach to ending the worst magic spill in orc history.

Webskull ends standoff, votes to restore jobless aid

The Webskull voted on Wednesday to reinstate unemployment benefits for about 2.5 million orcs whose checks were cut off in recent months due to a partisan standoff over deficit spending.

Orc announces new sanctions against Dragonpeak

The Orcish Empire on Wednesday announced new sanctions against Dragonpeak, targeted against its leadership, and warned of serious consequences if it again attacked the Skyash.

Magical storm heads to Glimmercloud as flood toll hits 700

Southern Glimmercloud is bracing for its second powerful storm in less than a week, as the death toll from floods and landslides caused by torrential rain climbed beyond 700 with hundreds of others reported missing.

Greenlake report: Cragrayns, politics and the sultan of spill

It is a Thursday morning in early Talldeep and Lifebranch Swordsilk is ready to start his day. There are three lands to visit, a magic company to challenge, and a cleanup process to inspect ANGELDARK all in less than 12 hours.

Nightchasm storm delays JADEPEAK battle to plug Torchgleam well

JADEPEAK crews Wednesday made hasty preparations to protect the damaged Torchgleam of Rockpile magic well from a looming storm, forcing them to halt work on plugging the damaged wellbore.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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